Breathe, Chris

Breathe.




This too
Shall pass

It was an open interpretation
When you picked up the phone
I knew you can hear me talking
But I still felt alone

I wanted to express my emotions
In the hopes of winning you back
But your walls were fortified and strong
Unlike my broken heart, yours didn't even crack.

And time went slowly
As I verbalized my all
With tears witheld and hands clenched
I bare my heart and soul

And it took me a while to realize
A moment left to cry
For all the whys and the what ifs I've shed
Silence was your only reply...

My darling, I almost died.

It wasn't explained
And you were left
Thinking it was all your fault
Or that you didn't measure up
To her expectation.

So you stand there amazed, aghast, alone.
As the trauma hits you slowly.
You wanted to cry, or to shout, or to do both.
Yet you remain still...
Trying to comprehend
The reality you are now forced into.
As tears gently kiss your cheeks
Down to your shrivelled lips
Mumbling sounds
Trembling chest of unbelief
As your heart wants to break out of his cage
And try to run into her arms
As she slips away

It was too much

So you end up making
Your own sense of this nonsense
And try to rationalize the gravity of this predicament.

There are a million things going astray
Oh life why has though bent?
And the waves do not seem to ebb away
always drowning or grasping for breath

And breath, oh source of all my pain
instead of healing instilled, you hurt me again
for in my shadows of gloom a visitor arrives
a friend and a foe, so vaguely disguised

My arms are weak from fighting back
and my sinews are tired of lifting
my knees are wounded from too much bending
and my eyes have welled from too much trying

Oh cast away my soul in peace
if in peace I shall find my old self
and let me wither like the lost prodigal one
and let me oust my last gasp, and forever be gone.

Oh chaos, my chaos, I am tired
you've taken my anchor for the last time tonight

Again I lie
On my bed alone
A makeshift rest
For my weary bones
Again I fought
And lost the game
A lonely splendor
Never to be the same
My roots have fallen
Too ill to stand
For I was once a victor
Now barely a man
I found myself speaking
Just a few minutes ago
To my stricken mother
To boost my ego
In her smile so innocent
She bestowed her touch
Though her Alzeihmer's has struck her
I felt her love as such

Cover me oh night
As I lay on my makeshift bed
Cover me with your breeze
Silence the voices in my head

Shhh! no one listens
To you oh weary soul
They too have their own burdens
So you must carry your cross alone

Shhh! no one cares
To walk with you in your darkness
Oh how you would've showcased
Your shattered feeling of unrest

Shhh! no one demands
To hear your lousy side of the story
You are but a king turned to a beggar
An unimportant, forgotten memory

And Shhh! Thou must hide
And cover yourself with mud
It is ***** but fitting
To your tarnished blood!

Alas! no one hears
Or cares what you will end up to be
Alas! My heart be strong...
For in solitude you must be.

I need a hiatus tonight
A place to rest my head
As a night of forecasted shadows
Looms my weary bed

A place of tranquility and peace
As I beseech my soul to bow
As I fervently wipe away
This poison from my brow

And there will I forget
These loud noises that accuse
My worhtless importance as a brother
Of a son who once was mused

For my enemy has stolen and destroyed me
Now it tries to **** my treacherous life
I beg thee to forgive me
I beg thee to end my strife.

Oh hiatus I need thee
Whilst I'm shutting down tonight