i'm so afraid that
you do not think about me
as much as i you.

hearing you tell me
"i love you" makes my heart skip,
run, jump, fly, spin, laugh...

the world is horrible, sad
and makes us afraid and scared.
why is it so ******?

i've found myself staying awake later
in an attempt to avoid the nightmares.
my dreams are often horribly vivid,
and it causes me great distress
when i dream of family members dying,
or of being chased down by masked people,
or losing everything
failing everyone.

last night i was sad,
upset for no reason, and
now i am alone

i can't transform my tears
into the words i need.