Nowadays all these people act like middle schoolers who whine and cry to the world about how no one loves and accepts them and want revenge on their grade school bullies.

You step outside every day with the possibility of being murdered. You eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with the possibility of you choking, drive your car with the possibility of you crashing. You take risk every day yet you're too scared to fall in love.

I can be set free and they will still manage to try and wrap a chain around my ankle. This is how it feels to be surrounded by people who frown upon your existence and have no faith in you.

I miss breathing in the fresh morning air in another city full of sunshine. Seeing the unfamiliar faces and accents and how different they acted from where I come from. I would look at the window and see all the different animals that would linger in the fields and mountains and how the rain was warm in some places. How the cities lit up at night and how I'd wake up to loud speeding cars on the busy road. The adventures I had with young children I vaguely remember and my family members, miss traveling I do.

I have a horrible feeling in my gut.
That I can't shake off and it's driving me nuts. I don't know if it's me or you, maybe something from out of the blue? Panic attacks kept me up all night, I stared at the stars with this restlessness I tried to fight. I can't tell you what's going wrong, but I just know I have to stay strong.

How do you think life will be if we all were forced to think the same? The opinionated would play their games, the innocent would be put to shame. If the world shared the same perception of beauty we'd be just turn monstrous and snooty. People would tear each other apart, the dumb will mock the smart. The strong will become weak, more insecurities no one seeks. Fake will be the new real and lips will be forced sealed. The world has come to this as in today as to why most have chosen to go astray.

I wish people were like books with words written all over them about the person they are, so we could know their intentions before you learn the hard way.

I can't wait for the day where I meet someone else and forget all about you
But for now I'm just so confused.

In a world full of 7 billion people you're going to waste your life crying and tearing yourself apart over a *******. Poor you! There are good memories, you won't forget this person but if they had the audacity to disrespect you then you have to accept the fact that this person was fake, they either got what they wanted from you and left or never got what they wanted and left because they had no intention to stay anyway. Don't live in the delusion they promised you.

I see that peas are green, dead possums too. They're deceased just like me and you. And I think to myself, what a ****** up world.

I tie my own shoes, my mom is white. I heard you got locked up, I found out last night. And I think to myself what a ****** up world.

You know you're really dumb though, all you ever do is lie. You're oh so embarrassing that I just wanna cry, I just shake me head asking what the hell did you do? I'm really just saying I'm tired of you.

I hear our baby cry, he's really grown. He never takes naps, just letting you know. And I think to myself, what a ****** up world, yes I think to myself what a ****** up world.

You do not see the beauty of a rose when you are too afraid of the thorns.

You can either sit down and let someone you "love" treat you like ****. Or you can can stand up, demand better for yourself and walk away. The choice is yours.

My mind is water
My subconscious is the ****
That holds the water back
When the **** opens
The water breaks free into the lake
As for the flood, it is my tears.

Growing up my Dad always told me
"When the snow melts the dog **** will still be there". In regards to people being fake.  I realize now that it applies to feelings too.

I hate whoever gives you drugs, I hate whatever drives you to do them and what makes them so special. I miss the old you, the person who wasn't coming around high and smelly. I miss the adventures we used to have during the summer, spending the nights together, eating pizza in your car in front of the lake at 2 am when you'd wake me up and take me out of my apartment, spend the night at your house and wake up next to each other. Now I just lay around crying and worried you'll end up dead in a ditch somewhere or in a jail cell. The only thing I have left of you is your baby kicking and you may not be around to see him come out because you're too busy getting baked in your fantasy world not giving a **** about the important things. The worst part is that if I told you any of this you wouldn't care enough to hear it when you're too far gone to hear me plea.

My emotions were once monsoon rains now a dry summer day. I look in the mirror and notice that I've grown, my appearance has changed. The person from a year ago will never stare back at me with crying eyes and obvious hurt, I am now a woman who is more at ease and alert. No longer feel that I am lost but evidently found, you feel enthused after burying your troubles in cold hard ground.

I'd rather be a villian by standing up for myself than the victim Who silently cries for help.

I took a walk today with the baby at a historical site. I stopped at the eatery and pictured you right across from me. I started to wonder if you would like it here and the food I ordered. Usually every day I think "haha your *** is in jail" but today I realized that it's been pretty lonely without you. We used to travel together all time and see places and you probably don't even acknowledge what you left behind.