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Chloe Christian Jun 2017
it's eleven thirty-seven and i'm lying here in bed,
thinking about you
and how you wanted her instead
just a little part of something i wrote a few years back.
  Jun 2017 Chloe Christian
欣快
i followed, until the follower button broke and suddenly
sullenly you're verified hanging out with other pretty things
amenity people, furniture unwrapped from foreign places
making flirty faces with the next boy and the next ones after that
i followed until my patience broke and the pride flooded in
rejection swiftly came within the bucket my heart was found within
just because it feels so good, you knowing my secrets
and stalking my social media like my biggest fan
it doesn't mean a thing if i don't know you at all like i used to

enter stage left: the regret part nine hundred and seven

maybe we're too young to feel something real between us
bottles of liquor on your mini fridge, messing around
with each other's bodies all this reddened afternoon, forgetting
the crisis seems so averted when the asymptotic answer
is just forgetting it exists and you can do way better than
hanging out with me but here we are
i swear i can make it worth something for you to remember
well i'll be the one you'll take home tonight or tomorrow
in that red convertible like a weird chainsmoker song
and i'll forget it's 2017 just for the whole ride.
shout out to patty thanks for making that other poem trend again, i think that's how it works.
Chloe Christian Jun 2017
sometimes when people are killing themselves with cigarettes, alcohol and drugs and people are destroying themselves by putting a blade to their skin and have parents that don't care if they're alive or dead and 'friends' that don't ever seem to watch what they've said, it's so very hard to shove it into their mind that things will eventually be fine when they've been alive for sixteen, seventeen, and eighteen years and they've just now come to realize that seemingly everybody just lies. and no one cares about anyone but themselves. and no one is going to be there because everyones leaves can't you see?it's so incredibly hard to make a person believe that God is always there and that God always cares when they aren't even scared to die because they don't feel like they need to be alive. because depression has has a weird way of twisting your mind and making you think that it'd be easier to die then try and survive. and society does nothing but teach everyone to learn not to mind when you're told to compromise your body and kind nature for the pleasure of everyone else selfish side that they always fail to hide. and sometimes people cry at night because they see that this was never how things were supposed to be, and they ask everyone they meet why they never seemed to be allowed to succeed or for that matter just simply be happy, and they ask why everyone around them is filled with greed and why it's not okay for them to be who they want to be, but people that aren't like you and i just sit there with a sly look in their eye and tell you over and over the sick lie that the only way to survive in this society is for you to learn to only care about you until you're so self-absorbed thats all you know how to do.
  Jun 2017 Chloe Christian
Julia Mae
i just wanted to make you happy
but you made me so unhappy
and i think that is what actually made you happy
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