I am vulnerable
I rip myself open for you
You pick at what's left of my carcass
As if its always belonged to you

I thought things would be different this time
I was under the impression that the word meant more to me than it did to you
I still am
When I asked if you care about me, you responded, "Not right now,"
and that worries me
Because even as you cursed my name, I tried to find someone else to blame
And as I walked away, my blood boiling, and you put the drivers seat down to sleep, I couldn't even make it around the corner without feeling like I was abandoning you
I should have left you there to your own devices with no hesitation

You're burning yourself alive...

I want to put out the fire.
We both know its an unhealthy desire.
And until you let the flames die down,
it's to you, not her, that the smoke will be bound.

The unsightly comfort you find in your torment
claims your inner fire, leaving you dormant.
You're trading your passion
for a love of ill fashion;
accepting an amity given in rations.

Afraid to take action,
waiting for something to happen.

But I can't watch you succumb to defeat...
Please don't let her steer from the backseat.

the taste of hummus and carrots reminds me of you
of our long weekend together
when we packed the cooler full of ice and beer and a few snacks
we pitched my dad's 7 foot tall tent, just the two of us
your chuckle was my sunrise as you sat outside with our neighbors, drinking at 9 in the morning and exchanging stories
not a worry in the world
you were the most important thing about that weekend
but it helped me discover my longing for independence..
it's a part of my nature. I thought I could do it; be with and without you. But I spread myself too thin
and I'm afraid I didn't think that harm might happen again
I was consumed
I was diluted
I was cruel and you were rooted in us
There was trust
I ****** up, soiled everything and left you in the dust

i didn't appreciate that weekend at the time
but in retrospect
it is everything i want
experiencing with you
side by side
our own perspectives of the subjective
flirting with forever, yet never letting the word leave our lips...
magic
you planted your seed in my mind and my heart
i need you to keep watering it
together we could grow enormous and strong
i love you

I am freezing
I didn't dry my hair and it is stiff
Almost as stiff as my lips as I try to maintain composure
But I can't seem to hold it

Someone could be perfect for you
And you could be beautiful together

Someone could be your paradox
And make your blood boil

Someone could make you feel calm
And safe.

Someone could make you melt
With discomposure

But when weighing the pros and cons
None of this matters
Love chooses for us

When I'm with him, everything feels easier
But everything is so complicated
I'm tiptoeing and peeking around corners before entering rooms
I don't want to close the door and have it lock behind me.
I can't risk this again, but I don't seem to be getting any better at staying tame..He's insane...