I had this thing, and I was wondering what to call it.
I pondered and pondered.
While I did this, the thing ran away.
Then I was left thinking of what to call a nothing.
I realized had I paid attention to the thing.
Nurtured it.
Let it grow naturally.
Come of it's own shape and size.
The name would have revealed itself effortlessly.
Perfectly in it's own time.
Instead the focus was on the name, on what it would be.
In trying to decide what it would be, and what I would make it, it was lost.

Ask me who I  am.
Ask me of my story
Pretend you care about my life
But ignore the scars on my body

I am but a shadow in the field
Haunted by those ****** whips I fear
Taunted by those freedom songs
Broken by tear stained years

I am a shadow of a human
No, not even human, an animal
I'm a number
A price, a nobody, expendable

Look me in the face
And know that only we slaves
Will die alone with endless scars
And empty eyes in our last days

You asked me who I am
You thought you knew my story
You see the broken child inside
Only now it's too late to say I'm sorry

Unfathomable fear cursed my broken soul.
The poisonous love that lingered in the confines of my heart.
The love that once bloomed like a beautiful flower,
Just another curse that bleed into the scars.
  
A faltering reality, a shattered soul.
Torn, broken, regretful.
Laced beneath an emotional facade,
The barriers shattered as love sunk in.

Love lit up the pure darkness,
Lighting an endearing path.
Descending the tunnel of light,
Sorrow drowns beneath the heavy bliss.

In this moment of unconditional affection,
Gratitude and joy spreads into a pure smile.

Between the life I had
and the death I owe
lies the valley of the shadow,
A place of woe.

First, numb, from hearing
the dread prognosis:
A blockage portending of
thrombosis.

Another episode like I just had
might end my life
like it did my Dad's.

Time seems most precious
does it not?
teetering on the abyss-
Cold,now when the day is hot.

Edema swells and fluids drown,
Each stolen breath is bought with pain.
Where once my river was at flood,
now bare trickles of time remain.

Time enough to say" Goodbye."
To reminisce or be forgot.
To say I love you one more time
even should you love me not.

Between the life I had
and the death I owe
lies the valley of the shadow,
A place of woe.

Perhaps this is the afterlife,
A way stop in this vale of tears.
A pause before the journey's end-
Can I say ,like a child, "Again!"

The knots of twisted trees
Seem to haunt my waking dreams
With mouths opened wide in fear

Wide awake yet dreaming
They are silent yet Screaming
No longer knowing what is real

Whispering winds still chew
Until they bite clear through
the bitter trees of my Imaginings

I cannot laugh, or scream, or cry
Until they take their last breath and die
Trapped behind the stench of fear
While voices in my mind leer
I will be a face behind a lie

Your sweet breath tickles my spine,
Calling out for the goosebumps.
But there’s a beautiful contrast
When your warm hands comfort them.
And even when we’re laying together,
And we’re still too far apart,
I can align my ears with your chest
To pick up the lovely rhythm of your heartbeat.
And since you always know what to do,
Next you’ll move my hair just enough
To plant a sweet, sweet kiss
Right on my forehead.
*I’m home.