This is one of those rare nights
where i just want to be alone,
and feel safe in a blanket of isolation
rather than unraveled and bare,
where others can see me.

Whoever said "Don't talk to strangers."
Must have been a lonely person.
What is life,
if life is lived so secure?

Slowly but surely
my spirit is growing

Slowly but surely
my spirit gains courage.

For today I prayed
that I would be brave
I thank God for the strangers
He brought to me today

For they became friends
And I hope to see them again.

Slowly but surely
my spirit is nourished.

Little green stalk
in a glass of clear stones,
It is my reminder of today,
of the strangers, now friends
that allowed this restless spirit to grow.

Before guns wore make-up,
We used to put pennies in our socks
So we’d always walk on the root of all evil.

Now Wall Street angels frolic through satellite clouds borrowed
from youths educated by universities of smoke and plastic bags.
                  
(The tears of a child are homage to the waning gods)
For in a day not far away,
Over the painted moon of the Morning Son,
The sun will rise wearing the finest war scars money can buy.

And the screams of humanity will be heard from Venus,
Forgetting that the reciprocal of   L-I-V-E   itself  is     E-V-I-L
And perhaps death is the life meant to be lived.

In the back seat of Dad’s red Grand Prix
I thought about death for the first time
and if God forgave kids who didn’t believe in him

Eternity was suddenly terrifying,
even in Heaven, an endless celebration
And in the dark, I would be alone, a streak of light
racing through empty space
with nowhere to go but further away

Mom was the first to see me falling to pieces
as I tried to explain the promise of Heaven was scary
like endless flames, and an eternity of nothing was just the same

As a child I ran from fear and hid in a well lit room
But here, as a crumpled heap on the ground, I couldn’t escape
Mom begged me not to be afraid
with a kiss and a therapist’s receipt
She promised peace and beauty in death
as I tore myself apart on the side of the road

It may be antique with worn shabby walls,
And rooms that feel like old barn stalls.

Yet 'tis a place where love can be found,
Where hugs and kisses and smiles abound.

The parents are teaching their children the way,
With lessons in serving each other each day.

The loving expressions so often heard,
Sing sweeter a song than the happiest bird.

And though not a villa of comfort in Rome,
This fortress of spirit is known as the 'Home'.


©Neil F.  6-09-2011

He is I
I am me.

Time
And Time
And Time
And Time Again.

Time, it was my friend.
Time and time again.

Writings all over the walls come down.
Movies playing in my mind all drown.
Showing me that all it takes is time
To mend,
All it takes is time to rend-

-er my mind,
Breaking time,
Drowning sorrow so
It falls, it falls, it falls, it falls
Into nonexistence, and I

Can't take this life,
So he will die...

But so can I.

-Not today, but long after tomorrow,
Unless God wills, I'll drown my sorrow.
Drowning sorrow so it can never
Walk across my mind again.


Hating hate so I can find an end
To the violence of my heart,
And I can find a friend
That will never let me down
If I just let my sorrow drown.