A silence with you
Is not
a silence

But a moment rich
with peace

WEAVE no more silks, ye Lyons looms,
To deck our girls for gay delights!
The crimson flower of battle blooms,
And solemn marches fill the night.

Weave but the flag whose bars to-day
Drooped heavy o’er our early dead,
And homely garments, coarse and gray,
For orphans that must earn their bread!

Keep back your tunes, ye viols sweet,
That poured delight from other lands!
Rouse there the dancer’s restless feet:
The trumpet leads our warrior bands.

And ye that wage the war of words
With mystic fame and subtle power,
Go, chatter to the idle birds,
Or teach the lesson of the hour!

Ye Sibyl Arts, in one stern knot
Be all your offices combined!
Stand close, while Courage draws the lot,
The destiny of human kind.

And if that destiny could fail,
The sun should darken in the sky,
The eternal bloom of Nature pale,
And God, and Truth, and Freedom die!

Oh man.
I was so young.
Almost too young
to experience any of this.
Where do I begin?

You were just a stranger,
a disgusting, vile human being.
You stole me away.
How was I supposed to know it was wrong?
Rubbing and touching. I hate you.

You left me alone, confused,
unaffected. Who even were you?
How curious that this would happen
to little old me. But it was my fault.
So I pulled on my little shirt and jeans, and left.

Then everything was calm.
I forgot about it,
because I could,
and I can.
I refuse to ever be broken by you.

But it started again.
I was older, but still young.
You were charming, exciting, caring.
Then your hand started coming down
on my tear streaked face.

I was out of line, wasn't I?
That's why I would accidentally fall down
your basement stairs. Or fall on the vase
I so carelessly knocked over.
Those cuts on my back? My fault.

My emotions died down the day you
decided to leave. Another state, a happy me.
I forgot about you, the scars disappeared
along with the scraps of my innocence.
I was changed.

After all of my waiting,
there you were with open arms.
I knew you were the right choice.
You planted soft kisses on every
sore spot on my body, and made me feel.

I loved every part of you, and I still do.
From the scar on your chin,
to the scars on your wrists.
I loved how every touch from you
was like a hit of ecstasy.

But all things must come to an end.
I got that call that you would never
be you again. A simple handful of
your lovely pills. It was my fault.
Because it's always my fault.

My knight in shining armor came to save me.
But he had some baggage,
some very important baggage.
His 'good friends' took me away,
and made a fool out of me.

I fought, and screamed no, no, no.
They could hear me, through every second
of every minute they were using me,
touching me,
taking me away. It's okay, it was my fault.

It happened once,
twice,
three times. Separate.
I forgot about every single one.
I'll always forget and continue on, by myself.

It took a while,
but I finally realize why I am the way I am.
The empathetic young girl who's mentally
too old for her own good.
She's seen too much, been through too much.

She'll always blame herself for it,
it's in her nature,
she hates conflict.
And all she wants is stability,
someone to sweep her away, and make her feel safe.

Which she hasn't felt in years.

Where goes the time when it flies?
Simplified by expression, and stained by clarity.
Smudge by lucidity
smeared by simplicity
tainted by intelligibility.
Tempus fugit as in time flies.
Sharply distressing with painful feelings
to the point of mental instability
morning or night
we become possessed with its mystic dealings.

Where goes the time when it runs?
Not a solitary explanation is found.
It happens and it won’t stop
until life terminates as well
without cause.
Derived of rationalisation
lacking understanding
short of justification
bursting with vindication
persistently and with conviction.

Where goes the time when it sails?
From the second that we’re born.
Where were we existing?
We cannot be so sure
Cannot recollect the past
Not for the first five of our years
Memory so blur, so shadowy
Hazy with distortions
obscure and confusing
Unit our mind starts slowly to recollect.

Where goes the time when it escapes?
The chronology of life so mysterious.
Nothing can solve its ambiguity
for time is a complex case
with an infinity of secrets.
What’s the obsession when we have so many setbacks
drawbacks and obstacles
obstructions and conundrums
to take care of before time perishes away
and leaves us stranded in oblivion.

Oh time, you magnificent of all mysteries,
the high and mighty of ambiguities.
Show us mercy and explain
we are not detectives of secrecies
your spell with us reflects on the whodunits.
Oh time of things past and yet to come
give us a clue as to what is to derive!
“Remember”
it softly replies “Make most of your lives”
“Once I fly away no one can have a replay”.

The way you smile,
when I walk in the room,
makes my heart go wild,
and it changes my mood.

The way you laugh and giggle,
when I say something dumb,
makes me love how we,
are always having fun.

The way your fingers fit,
right in between mine,
always make me grin,
with the biggest smile.

The way you rest your head,
on my bony chest,
makes me understand,
you're not like the rest.

And the way you look at me,
and smile endlessly.
It makes me realize,
just how I really feel.

I'm not good at expressing my feelings,
considering my heart is still healing,
but I just wanted to tell you,
I love you,
it's true.