i found a love
within myself
that i didn't know was there
but it was filling up like a pool
collecting rainwater
for the droughts to come
and when my throat  was dry
i didnt plead for a sip
from your veins, a tangled web,
but instead
i swam inside my stomach
curling fingers around
dancing seaweed
finding all that i needed
existed
between the tiny pulses
growing louder
with each realized
moment.

the moon hung like
a bulb in the sky
the windows were broken in,
gaping holes in the buildings,
hollow eyes
no longer weeping.
the air was gritty
and we stood huddled sharing a
smoke.
a man nearby waved about and screamed
tormented by demons
that nobody could see-
just a frothing mouth
reeking of *****
and i felt sad
thinking of
fragility

my throat is twisted up
jumbled and knotted
like the roots of an old oak.
your words bleed through
my pores
and i can feel them
trickling down my skin
until i am
covered
in
crimson

50
missed calls
all in
a
line
51...52..53..
wait there's more.

a norwegian summer
frothy bangs falling over soulless eyes
windows empty of rolling country scenes
and the smoke stacks billow over
my heart in a blue smudge.
if i could love again, maybe it would be you
but my insides are a midnight sky
absent of stars, a total lunar eclipse.
i remember his tongue
delivering ****** lashings
to my psyche
and the curtains hang with a depressed posture
transporting me back to his heavy room
he liked to chase the light out,
and open my body apart
my head reeks of bathtubs, swollen wrists,
throbbing words of hate.
i'll wrap these things up,
shoving them down into my shoes
when i'm with you.
but you're holding hands with
a skeleton
and i don't think
these bones will
cease their aching.