a girl got hurt too many times
and she didn't want it anymore
her tiny form was shaking
at what else could be in store
since she was small
she was always afraid
so she cut out her heart
and threw it away
she cut out the sadness
the anger, the fear
she cut out anything
that made her shed a tear
she took her knife
and she cut her heart out clean
she didn't stop to think about
exactly what that'd mean
she cut out her desire
she cut out her sighs
she cut out all thoughts
of her eventual demise
she cut it all out
all that made her feel shattered
and it was too late when she realized
she cut out everything that mattered
her heart was still beating
but it was as cold as ice
and that's when she figured out
what makes this world so nice
the hurt and the pain
and the happiness too
all go together
there's no way to choose
what you want in your life
you have to take it all
either that or you cut out
every feeling, big and small
and this little girl
made up of bones and skin
wanted nothing more
than to let the feeling back in
but her heart was like winter
and her knife was cutting air
so she decided to feel
the last thing that was there
she stuck the knife deep
and she smiled as she died
because for the first time in a long time
she felt truly alive

to need; desire.
the feeling of perfect bliss
just out of your reach

don't cut yourself
why would you?
because the pain is too much
because you hurt inside
the anger and sadness is writhing in you
creating an almost apathetic desire to feel
anything
don't cut yourself
type the words out
type the things that are racing inside you
try to find the perfect words
try really hard
to make your meaning clear
try to explain the heaving hurt inside you
the stones in your stomach
the throbbing in your scarred wrist
try to explain these things
the best you can
on paper
and use ink
instead of blood
to express your pain

i didn't cut myself today
are you proud?
are you going to pat me on the back
and say,
"good job"?
are you going to smirk and say
"i told you that you could control it."
are you going to eye my wrist
and heave a huge sigh of relief
and treat me very carefully?
are you going to give me a reward i don't want?
i didn't starve myself today
are you going to thank me profusely
and give me yummy foods to eat in front of you?
are you going to hug me and say
"darling, you look so healthy!"
i didn't hurt myself today
my body is healing
and you are pleased
you treat me so delicately
or so nonchalantly
as if everything i do
is either a huge accomplishment
or nothing at all
but
that's not what i need right now.
i need to say
"i didn't cut myself today"
and i need you to look at me
and kiss me
and tell me
that even if i had
you would still be here
kissing me

hush my perfect baby
hush my little girl
i am here and you are too
and we can finally begin

you kiss me with your eyes
i see you
you tempt me with your smile
i know you do

perfect curls
perfect eyes
freckles are not blemishes
rather, beauty marks
galore

you're not the sun
because
your radiance is not meant for all
you are the moon
whispering sweet nothings to me
in the middle of the night

i will make you a full moon
i will make you glow
and you will wink
and smile,
curling your lips in a smirk
and say
"am i too young to feel this way?"

you know what my answer will be

The ice inside me
is never thawed by the heat
in between my thighs

In the face of beauty, I am breathless,
And I am asthmatic around you
My heart leaping from my body
Determined to cross paths with the one it loves.
My heart will leave my body
To climb into another
To snuggle deep within your chest
And say "I love you."
Awakening me and
Feelings long forgotten
The feelings I had for you.
I don't want to forget
secrets
late nights
whispers
of love
and comfort
agony in the most blissful way
imaginable.
I remember love
as if he is an old friend
he sings me to sleep
with promises of you.
and with you i know
fireworks
passion
warmth
flowers and grass
the breeze playing with my hair
the may air suffocating me
with happiness
The curtains conducting
a song of love
with the breeze and the birds chirping
Can you feel it?
can you feel me next to you
clutching, clinging, caring?
caring so much i could break.
fireworks fill my heart with
flowers and Easter eyes
the rebirth of love
seeds planted in my chest
a chain of daisies around my lungs.
a tree forms in my stomach
and the branches seem to quiver
in the may air
the sun kisses us
almost the way you kiss me
and we laugh together
swinging upward toward the sky
the may air is everywhere
and i am breathless in love