It's 3.56a.m. and I've got something to confess.
You've once asked me if anything's wrong and if I'm alright. I replied with a "yeah, I'm fine."
I lied.

You see,
0000h marks the start of my torture
As 0100h sees my tears.
0200h hears my secrets while
0300h watches me bleed.
0400h tries to comfort me, and get me to sleep before 0500h.
0600h I wake, questioning my existence all over again.
It's a vicious cycle,
One that I can never step out of.

My smiles in daylight are lies,
Deceiving enough to let people think I'm alright.
But truth is I never was, and perhaps never will be.
I love too much and fall too hard.
Words that pierced my heart resonates in me as I lashed myself with pain and anguish.
Taking pills akin to M&Ms; while downing coffee like water to substantiate my status as a human – I need water, air and love to survive.

Every personal question people ever threw to me,
I answered them all
despite them not getting any answers from me.
The answers and thoughts in my head
doesn't leave their sanctuary that easily;
They murdered me with their constant bickering.

Perhaps, at the next 4.07a.m. when you're awake,
try asking me those questions again.
i might spill it all out to you

(c.c)

At 2 a.m. In the morning
Demons come out to play.
Cannibals clawing at your door,
What last words do you have to say?

At 2 a.m. in the morning,
Only lonely souls are awake.
Fighting those stupid demons
With nothing but a blade.

At 2 a.m. In the morning
Have you ever needed somebody to talk to?
Have you ever scrolled through your contacts,
Finding no one you can tell things to?

2 a.m. In the morning
Insomniacs are wide awake.
For the pain that leave us "sober"
Is what that's making us stay.

At 2.01 a.m.
I bid my final goodbye
As I flung myself to those cannibals
Who are lonely freaks like me.

(C.C)

This silence is too eerie, this emptiness is too vast. I thought I've finally escaped this "hellhole". I thought that I've escaped into the embracing arms of Camelot. But little did I know, Camelot is an evil place brimming with demons from over the world. Shush, they're coming for me. Don't make a sound now, or else I'll flip.

I hear them breathing noisily thought their nostrils, congested with slimy mucus. I see them now! Blood overflowing from their mouths, unable to satiate their undying wants for human minds. Help! I'm gripped tightly around the fingertips of fear, "they'll never let me go" I thought to myself.

As quietly as I could, I tiptoed into the most outstanding room of this beautiful castle. I locked the door, double bolt, and triple bolted it. Oh, foolish me. What have I just done? This room has no windows at all. Those cannibals are scraping the door. They've smelt my scent, they've smelt my sweat. They've realized my presence and now I can never outrun them anymore.

I dug my hands into my pocket, hoping to find something that I can use to fight them off. I thought my pockets were empty, but thank God for hope. I felt something metal, I felt something sharp. I pulled it out. Guess what I've found! Upon sight of that metal blade, I chuckled to myself. I am elated. "There's a way out of this after all." I really couldn't have asked for more.
With this blade I'd win, I'd be triumphant.

So as the wooden door slowly split into two upon the clawing of those disgusting creatures, I've dug the metal blade DEEP. DEEP into my ulnar first, then my jugular. "HA HA HA HA", I cried out loud as I breathed my final breathe to show that I'VE WON, YOU CAN NEVER GET ME NOW.

(C.C)

She doesn't know why
She's the sort of person
Who converse with inanimate objects.
She can't (help) but call for the razor
Whenever she's in deep confusion.

She's not the sort of person
Who is able to use verbiages at her fingertips.
The tune her fingers play
Doesn't portray
Phantoms in (her) head.

(She)'s the sort of person
Who loves coffee and the morning sun.
But she's also the sort of person
Who hates her own existence
And find that she's no good for life.

She's the sort of person
Who doesn't believe that people care
For everyone who said that
either left
Or (wants to leave).

(She) didn't meant to be annoying
Nor did she wanted to be so disgusting.
She hated putting that cold metal
Against her skin which was warm with life.
She hated sticking *******
Down her only throat.
She merely (need)ed something
To take the pain away.
Her only wish was (salvation);
She's been held captive by her mind.

(C.C)

The rain splatters against the window
Calling out for you by making a scene.
It has been raining everyday
Ever since you left.
rain rain go away

My face is wet
But my eyes are dry
For the everlasting rain,
Drained it (my eyes, my heart, my mind) empty.
rain rain go away

It's cold here;
The wind is howling.
It's telling me, it misses you.
rain rain go away

When you left,
The sun no longer shine.
You splattered ominous dark clouds
Painting the canvas – the sky.
It'd be nice if someone cared,
It'd be nice if there's someone by my side
To plant daisies,
While calling Mr Sun to report for work.

But we all know:
no one likes traveling through the rain;
Everyone fears slipping.
rain rain go away

(C.C)

This is not a poem.
It's more of a lashing of words
To remind myself that I'm alive.
Let the pain paint my flesh
A vibrant pink,
Filled with vitality.

This is not a poem,
But it's written for the sole purpose to remind everyone,
I'm human.
I make mistakes; I'm not perfect.
I'm not a robot,
I need my rests.

I just HAVE to reiterate:
This is not a poem.
I just had to bring out feelings and words
I can never let out
Because I have to "save my face"
And I am "strong".
But I'm truly sick and tired
Of living this life without having any reason
Or anything to hold dear to.
Self destruction isn't bad,
When it keeps you alive.

This is not a poem.
But just so to let you know,
The blanket that's wrapped around me
Is so thick and heavy
My shoulders can't bear it's weight anymore.
Even the bed, creaked due to the immense pressure.

No, this is not a poem.
I don't quite know what I'm feeling.
But I know something:
I can't live like this forever,
And I need someone to realize that.

(C.C)