~

Remember? Please God, say you do.

Wanting to reach out
I can't grasp just any hand
so i can refrain and grab my own
schizophrenic anarchy is always my second choice.
So i tore rose pedals from the flower and yelled to the ever so guilty skies
She loves me not!

I must have been a sociopath in my previous life
to quietly deal with all my strife and dissension with the acquainted

A wise woman once told me some people aren't content with their thoughts
so they don't like to be alone
I lied and replied I AM
with all of my polar opposites I am more alone
than ever before, I can just blame the moon
but i know that I need my ray of sunshine.

*not self pity, autobiographical

I haven't cut in so long that
I miss the feeling of
something other then
the sadness I feel
now.

I hope you know
you make me sick.
You're ****.
I hope you ******* die on the street,
Because that's where you put yourself.

I decided to sleep over you and your girls house.
I didn't think anything of sleeping in the same bed.
You know why?
Because you were right ******* next to her.  
But oh no. I wake to find you touching me.
It took me everything I had not to scream.
You're sick.
I was asleep.
There was no consent.
I hope you realize it's ****.
I could put you away.
1st degree ****..
That'll get you a couple years.

That girl gave you everything.
She loved you with everything she had.
Now, she sits on a doorstep crying her eyes out,
because of you.
She gave you everything.
She gave you ******* everything.
A place to live.
Food to eat.
She loved you with everything she had.
And you betray her.
With her sleeping right next to you.

Wasn't it so convenient?
How you decided you were gonna sleep between us?
I know that's not where you normally slept.
If things went as they normally did, she would have been in between us.
But no, you decided to switch things up.
So as soon as I fell asleep, you could get what you wanted.
You're ******* sick, and I'm glad you're gone.

Reality and existence
feel much better
but I miss this
way a drug
makes me feel
undoes the real
makes the body heal
next day
drug fades
pain come back
from gone away
now it's a face
in the mirror
staring
saying
what did you do
who are you
what will you become
of this
substance
will be your
decay
who is your slave
on the master
do you pray
to give you what you need
to look life face to face
and understand what it takes
to move forward in the rain

the acid rain
drips away

here you are today