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 Oct 2013 Celeste
R
i know its probably the weirdest thing
you've ever heard of in your life, but
this man so smart and so attractive,
it hurts. he knows about Star Trek and
hes a bibliophile and he drink green tea
for ******* fun. thats ******* amazing.
he served in the Coast Guard for 20+
years and he has nine children.
he has double major in Physics and
Education. i just really want to kiss him
so hard and feel his ****** hair just rubbing
on my cheek and with his really nice hands
all up in my hair and maybe i better stop
because im in school and this ******
frustration is killing me. ******.
 Oct 2013 Celeste
R
Untitled
 Oct 2013 Celeste
R
I either like girls or
older men and I guess
that's not okay to some
people, hell, it's not even
okay to myself, but I can't help
that I like the way girls look with
their ******* off or the way men
look when they have a 5 o'clock
shadow.

I really like the way he wiped my tears
away and they way she always was the
little spoon and the way he held my shoulder
and the way she just knew when i was sad and the
way he just showed me how the shadows are in
different colours of light...

*******, i guess im bi, but
hell i could be wrong.
 Oct 2013 Celeste
maybella snow
pain everywhere
what to do with life
backed into a corner
stop feeling anything maybella
hold it all together
                 no one can know
                 no one
           because they all hurt
they’ll all backfire and hurt
they don’t care
and if they do
    it’ll be gone soon
don’t tell them
hide it
hold it in
you’ll be okay soon
its just a little pain
    it’ll be gone soon enough
hopefully
keep dreaming mayb
                 you’ll trip
                 you’ll fall
just, don’t bring anyone with you
       remember that
don’t let it happen
don’t let anyone care
because you’ll care about them
         and we’ll both get hurt
you’re in a corner
stay there
befriend the corner
it cant hurt you
we’ll be okay maybella
but we just have to hold it in
written a while ago but i guess it still applies
 Oct 2013 Celeste
R
Untitled
 Oct 2013 Celeste
R
i didn't mind going deeper,
and that scares me.
i don't feel that pain anymore,
so what's keeping me from
doing it more?
if the touch of the blade doesn't
even make me feel,
then what will?
 Oct 2013 Celeste
Brooke
silent
 Oct 2013 Celeste
Brooke
you say it's up to me
to do the talking,
you get a phone call from school.
you answer,
nothing but silence at the other end.

"hello, i have your daughter in the
counselors office.
may i speak to brooke's mother?"


you take your finger
and wrap it around the phone wire.

"yes, this is her speaking."

you take a deep breath.

"hello how are you? i have brooke here in the counselors office, i'm sorry to bother you at work today, i'm sure you are busy. but do you have a few minutes to talk with me? i am very concerned about brooke today, her teacher says she wrote her persuasive paper on.."

-she pauses-

"cutting herself,"

you stare at the blank computer screen in front of you, frozen.

"i am very worried about Brooke, she says you knew about her harming her self-"

she stops speaking, waiting on a response.

you take a deep breath, scared, hurt and confused.

"i don't know if you would possibly agree with this, but i think Brooke needs counseling."

you drop the phone, in tears.
little did you know,
that your daughter
was fighting her own demons.
little did you know,
that the little brown and white
snakes tattooed on her wrist,
were a cry for help.
little did you know,
that she wanted
to be saved from herself.

-b.m
 Oct 2013 Celeste
Redshift
i had this strange notion that new clothes would make people want me.
like a tripping over a new stereotype and taking it home to dry
would make people notice me
like my pictures on instagram
now that i can hashtag "gamergirl"
"nerdgirl"
"glasses"
"geek".

like somehow big bows and tight jeans
loose sneakers and earcuffs
and fake glasses
would finally sort me into the right file
with all the other people
like me (?)

like me.
are you like me
as in the clothes i'm wearing
the movies i'm watching
the games i'm playing
are you like me like the words i use
like the smiles i smile
like the imitation kim kardashian perfume that i buy (?)

i had the feeling that people would notice me
that hipster boys in starbucks would take a sideglance, then go for another peek
that boys from ivy-league schools
would ask for my number
that gamestop employees would stand too close to me...
and i was right.

but being right doesn't always mean you're happy
and though i am somehow now interesting
and attractive
and easy to sort into small plastic boxes
i feel
empty
poor
cold
materialistic

basically, i feel like every girl i have ever envied.
i don't know why i envied them.

they are not like me.
 Oct 2013 Celeste
Daniel Magner
*******
cut above the
second knuckle
so I mean it
in blood
when I say
"****
the
world"
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