I have always been mediocre at best
but you never make me feel that way.

her name was angel (coincidence?)
and she came up to me tonight
she had this light in her eyes as she
told me that God has a plan for me.
she thought i'd think she was crazy because
she said he talks to her. (i kind of did)
but, i stayed open-minded because
thats just who i am.

she said that God says im beautiful and
that i will do great things. then she
went into greater detail about how my life will completely
change if i would just stop being so stubborn and let him in,
for he knows i will change the entire world with my leadership.
(ive never met this lady before but she seems to know me more than i know myself.)

i listened carefully as she told me that i needed to call out to God and
worship him, for he will show me the way.

throughout the night i pondered on who i am and what i will be.
she even said that i know exactly what i want to do, but God will not only
let me have my dreams, but even more. he will make my dreams multiply
tenfold and i will be a leader and many will follow me.

i cant decide if i believe her or not, but
since this has happened twice in two weeks
i might as well give God a try.

ive never been enough
even in my mind,
i fight to win the rival that
never ends.
the only things that bring me comfort
are Doctor Who and Lord of the Rings,
mhm... yes i miss you and that smile
of yours dear god, it is like heaven.
but, you see, ill never be enough
ive always known that.
neither the doctor nor the hobbit will
come to save me.

i hate being so dispensable
i feel so bad for my friends and my family,
they have to deal with me all the time
but i guess when im gone
everybody will grab a glass of wine.

cheers, shes finally dead.
(i say this all the time in my head!)

oh dear, dont be sad,
be glad,
shes dead and the
demons are gone from her
blasted head.

(can i make the same end-rhyme twice?)

blades away
shoved in a bin
blood well sealed
inside my skin
seventh day