would it be a little
lazy of me to just
sleep through everything
that's going on and hibernate
throughout this heat and boredom
(c.r)

the chirping of colourful birds
i hear in the morning
are the simple serenities i miss

to pick the fruits from
the mango tree
collecting 42 in cardboard boxes

the green landscape that
welcomed me at 6:00AM
laying in the hut and breathing fresh air
as rice fields surround me

how i would wash my wandering feet
in the cold rushing stream
then collect my bicycle and return

was i yet to discover
i was leaving this place in
6 months

(c.r)

it took me a while
to realise that
i might not ever
meet the people that
makes my day better

(c.r)

you are the sun
and i am dust from a distant

i want to chase you but
each time i get closer
you travel away from me

making it impossible to
hold you in my
embrace

(c.r)

I don't understand why
you would do this
maybe I myself am not you
therefore it's difficult
to figure out
the maze that are your thoughts

(c.r)

I woke up remembering
the latest movements
in my dreams
but a millisecond later
you're in my mind
and so then I continue
to think about you
as an untouchable dream.
(c.r)

as students surround the supply teacher
  as he leans over to tell them his jokes
they shriek in laughter
   and i want them to stop being fake
because you're all acting

and so the day ends
but it'll begin as we know it
and so my eyes begin to dry
but I don't let them seal together
and so I will slip away
from realism
but i do hope you won't
appear

(c.r)

the happiness you saw
in her eyes
were like blossoming flowers
and you were both water and sunlight
so she grew into something beautiful

*c.r

the freckles on your cheeks
                   and your back
lines up a constellation             
.         '           -     "
,              
.           '  -          *
       *           '
'             *    to my heart.
(c.r)

once,
you were smiling
your eyes reflecting
not only sunlight
but happiness

now,
you're smiling
your droopy eyes reflecting
not only tiredness
but emotionless

then,
you're smiling
your closed eyes reflecting
not only stillness
but death and peacefulness
*c.r

it's a bliss to just
lie down and think of nothing

but when you hear
tick tock,
tick tock
with every second
and so it begins to taunt you

by then you know
you've wasted time that
can't be reversed

(c.r)

her eyes were dreary
and her thoughts were clusters of nebulae
the silent atmosphere was disrupted
by her loud, complex, and disorientated mind
for once her laughter brought kaleidoscopes in her eyes
but all you can hear is the fluttering sound of a butterfly's wings
for those were the last flutters that made her feel alive

if i were to love another and it wasn't you,
i wouldn't love at all in the first place
so let me be the cold hearted,
let me guard up my walls
surrounding my heart to keep it protected
though one day, if it came to a great surprise
and you tore down those walls one by one
you'd find the key that unlocks my heart.
*c.r

the sun shines
and the sky is clear
like the colours of your eyes
though yours are a little darker
and i would spend
every single minute
of this day with you until
the goddesses bring out
their dark sheet for the night sky  

but oh, darling
you won't be beside me
and so i shut myself inside
waiting for you to come
which, i'm afraid,
will never happen

(c.r)

in order for a fire or a flame
to occur or grow
they are in need of oxygen
and then, and only then
will the fire "live"

I'm the fire, you're my oxygen
so I guess i'm stuck in a black hole
where oxygen remains no more
and nor will I.
*c.r

if only i had the courage
i would speak up to those
jibbering mouthes they own

if only i had the courage
let me be free and happy
avoiding negative thoughts
on my surrounding

if only i had the courage
would i carelessly not worry
about who or how
or why or what

(c.r)

as I stare at the ceiling
and it stares back at me
my mind booming with thoughts
after a while it clusters and clears
into one subject

you
your baby blue eyes         your personality
your smirk          your cheesy grin
your jawline           your hair
your arms         your voice
your laugh              your hands
your height       your accent

the list will go on
but it honestly hurts me
that i haven't physically met you
and you can be a figure of imagination
a lie or a story once told
and you have no idea
i even exist
(c.r)

what is happiness?
they say the definition is:
"state of well-being characterized by
emotions ranging from
contentment to intense joy."

well in my opinion
happiness is found
in yourself

and for me,
i found happiness
from yours
(c.r)

pacing moderately down the road
avoiding any contact
maybe it's just me who
constantly worries
or maybe it's their suspicious act

i do not like these people
i don't like how they think
i do not wish to stay forever
i wish i wouldn't overthink

(c.r)

I'm sorry I'm not as outgoing
I'm sorry I don't like to
go outside everyday
I'm sorry I don't agree to plans
I'm sorry I don't socialise a lot
I'm sorry I'm self-conscious
I'm sorry I prefer to stay at home
I'm sorry I feel unsafe
I'm sorry people intimidate me
I'm sorry I think people are suspicious
I'm sorry if I am too selfish to accept the fact that we've moved

The list will go on but who has time?

I'm sorry
    I'm sorry
          I'm sorry I changed

(c.r)

of the same human kind,
they shall be opponents?
Oh how tragic!

and as they manipulate you
you come to think and fight
for what might not be possible
but you can't control
your thriving of the feeling

and so all of you fight
Oh how tragic!

(c.r)

the clock constantly reminds you
of the time wasted
and it daunts me that our time is slowly
but unnoticeably, running out
though it would be a pleasant serene bliss
to waste each tick and tock

                         being present with you
*c.r

but one day you tore her down
you were both storm and pesticide
so she shrunk and withered
and couldn't take what was happening
so she was no more of
that beautiful flower
and you were no more of
her beautiful strength

*c.r

The faint vapour going up
with no destination
followed by the exotic smell,
may I say
then it clues a touch of sweetness

As you tilt the cup
it gulps down through your throat
like a gentle waterfall

As it ends its journey
you catch a warm feeling
in your chest
then a small perk of a smile
grows on your face

How wonderful

(c.r)

"do you remember a few years go
when there was a dead scorpion
and your sister said, "poor scorpion"
well, I thought that was so genuine
of her to say so as, us humans,
expect these nasty creatures to be
dead"
                         "as it is true, we do expect them not
                          to be wondering around pestering
                          others and scaring them
                          but how would you feel if
                          you were expected by people to be
                          dead?"

I sat there and nodded
agreeing to whatever he is saying.

the fact that i have
to keep everything in
for two months
until the only person
who knows my likings
and secrets
comes back
then, and until then,
can i burst my emotions
verbally

i know you deserve better but honestly
i love you as time passes
i love you as my skin begins to wrinkle
i love you as seasons change
i love you as constellations occur
i love you as gravity is natural
i love you as my mind wonders
i love you as you live your life
i love you as you don't know
i love you as i'm nonexistent to you
i still love you as our hearts won't ever
love one another.
*c.r

when your eyes are rich in dryness
and the weight of your arms
overpowers your muscles
so you just lay there
looking lifeless

(c.r)

I would hold your hand
for when the nightmares
alarm you so you can't
go back to sleep

I would hold your hand
when we walk through
streets and pathways
so that we won't feel lonely

I would hold your hand
for when we walk at night
and you say
"it's just darkness"

I would hold your hand
for when we depart
but all this time it was
not real
and you were never
mine to hold

(c.r)

there is this boy
I admire
with blue eyes I can
analyze endlessly
and his smile is described
as a little source of my happiness

there is this boy
I admire
who's quietness makes him
oddly attractive
and also when he fiddles with
his hair at times

there is this boy
I admire
whom in his eyes I don't exist
and in his eyes he seeks for another
and that other won't ever be me
but as long as he's happy
I'm okay
(c.r)

real* voices are the ones
who make your skin static
with goose-pimples
the ones that send an electric current
down your spine
the ones who makes the
pair of your eyes prickle
with tears of sense and feeling

(c.r)

one day you will snuggle
up with her and you will
comfort her in a thunderstorm
she will look into your eyes
she will kiss your tender mild lips
you will look at the stars together
and one day witness a falling star

that falling star could be me
falling for you,
being detached
from the sky and accepting the
fact to take a free fall into reality
*c.r

please stop saying you're hurt
or dead because you're
lying

(c.r)

when I sip the cup
of caffeine, its
black dim colour and
taste doesn't compare
with how obscure my
heart is without you
(c.r)

i'm not there for when you wake up in the morning
                                      you're eyes crinkle because of the sun
                                      you hum quietly whilst walking
                                      you laugh so hard your stomach hurts
                                      you smile in return of a compliment
                                      you bite your lip in act of nervousness
                                      you wake up from a nightmare
                                      you cry as you're having a bad day
                                      you are truly happy
                                      

i also won't be there as you take your last breath
and i wouldn't know if it was a sigh of relief or pain.
*c.r

these beautiful sceneries
I admire as I flip
through The world's
most beautiful places
but after scanning
these pictures,
my face sinks to a frown

why do I keep imagining
being with you?
It's just stupid
(c.r)

I hate lying here awake
with thoughts running
through my mind

When I panick
as my mind over-powers me
and my head receives anxiety
no one will care
to be beside me

(c.r)

I remember your
shocking sudden fall
from the ladder and
thought you're a goner

(c.r)

i filled up
my head with you,
every time i looked up
to the sky
it reminded me
of your
pretty pale
blue eyes
i can analyze endlessly
*c.r

Pedalling through the park
I pass dog owners,
maybe two or three

Arriving on the main road
with frequent passing cars
the wind gushing through my hair
entering the unsealed areas
of my clothing
and spreading around my skin
sending a cold breeze

Conversations flow from my Dad
As I answer in agreement
I loved how there was no one around
I can be cautious about
Oh how I sometimes wish
It was as simple as a morning cycle

(c.r)

this typical question I receive
confuses me,
tears me slightly
and causes me to lie

"do you prefer living in ...........
or now in .........."

well,
would you prefer living
in a place you lived your
whole life
with places you knew
friends you loved
landscapes to visit

or a place
where you felt intimidated
no where to go
having limited friends
and having to just live with it?

(c.r)

i don't like to verbally fight
so when someone throws
their anger at me
i can just stay silent
and not say a single word.

i don't like to admit things
so when you ask me
for reasons
i can just stay silent
and not say a single word

i don't like to ruin things
so when you decide to
spend time with me
i'd love that and
i can just stay silent
and not say a single word
(c.r)

most of the time I hate looking at pictures from the past

why?

because everything was much more simpler
       and everyone was happier

who likes to ponder around in the past
and mourn on the happiness you used to carry

you deserve everything and more
and I can't give you anything and less.

*c.r