please don't mention his name
   I'm unable to control my emotions
      you can say I'm an
         emotional wreck
           because my tears can't stop
             the redness in my eyes won't
                disappear
              he makes me sad and happy
            though he doesn't acknowledge
        my existence
    so please do me a favour
please don't mention his name

(c.r)

this shock of wave
from a tsunami tide of thoughts
daunts my brain
with questions of life
no one can answer
unless they're
dead.
*c.r

and as they arrive
I shake their hands
smile
greet them
and they make their way to sit down

I wish I can learn to make conversation
as I feel like a coward
running away and sitting
on the top of the stairs
unable to do anything

(c.r)

what's gotten into me?
you're just silly
i'm so sorry
for being a silly girl
to fall for you

(c.r)

but how stupid of me to be
tricked and illusioned into
loving the person i see in pictures
but not in real life.

I ink my wrist
with the black eyeliner
the characters and symbols
on it make me happy and smile

                    The first line means happy
                    as I need to remind myself
                    through the day that I need
                    to smile once in a while.
(c.r)

as i scroll past i think
it really does hurt
when everyone disagrees
with you and ignores you
and they think he deserves
to be with someone else
it does hurt
from the deepest
part of my aching heart

(c.r)

you raise your
hand to take
the picture
I'm truly happy
but then I realise
I'm just another
person
you're taking
a picture with,
but at least
I was once beside you.
(c.r)

when it comes to
late hours, i do
intend to pour myself
into writing

but hey, i just wasted my
11:11 wish on you
i do hope you feel
special

(c.r)

at the dead of night
she wakes
and finds herself
in a maze which is her mind
and she can't escape
the fact that
you don't love her back.
(c.r)

but how do you not want
  to live in the past?
   everything was fine!
    people were happy,
     and so was I
          

                don't you want to be
                happy?
(c.r)

you give me comfort
you give me happiness
you give me feeling
you give me strength
you saved me

        but out of all of that
        i can give you nothing
        and most of all
        i can't save you.
(c.r)

daydreams are a little
dangerous for her
as she is creating this delusional
imagination of a life with you
and we all know what happens
in the end





she's *broken

thoughts of non-existing
anymore doesn't terrify me

it's the fact that I
never really existed to
you in the first place
*c.r

but i love the fact that
i can put my anger,
frustration, happiness and
any kind of emotion
to a piece of writing
that won't mean anything to anyone
but it would to me

to
listen
to
the
sound
of
your
voice
somehow
comforts
me
*c.r

if imagination was what was left of me,
i wouldn't mind

though if imagination left my soul,
i would lose a piece of me
as imagination occurs
to when love is false
and i don't want to forget you
*c.r

when the last pages
of my life is ending
i would to like think of happy
things and times i spent
with you and hopefully
sleep endlessly
taking my last breath as
a sigh of relief.
*c.r

i wonder why
           i don't go outside as much
           i don't talk to my friends as much
           i don't smile as much
i wonder why
           i cry more
           i frown more
           i stay indoors more
           i want you more
              (when you don't want me at all)
(c.r)

I stare at the screen
which displays a film
so I stare blankly
and draw the letters
of your name without ink
on the table
and I know how
delusional I am
for wanting you

(c.r)

we say sorry too much
and don't even mean it

(c.r)

it isn't just me
that loves you

it isn't just me
that fell for
everything
you are

it isn't just me
that are now
broken pieces
amongst many
(c.r)

it's quite pathetic really
why i even bother anymore

it still surprises me
that i remember the places
                            the people
                            everything
                           (well not everything but you get me)
as i have a capability of going
through the places i've been before
and i can relive those moments
even though i left
for more than 2 years ago

you see her sitting there
smiling at people
listening to what they're saying

but you have no idea
what goes through her mind

The first thing I do
when my eyes open
is to remember
that I'm still alive
and that I didn't
dose off to blankness

You, my friend, might want
to leave forever
but I realise
that time is very
valuable and
it has to remain
a gift you each hold

People say, there are
places to go and
people to meet, so
why on earth would you
want to escape now

(c.r)

i care so
much about
your happiness
that mine isn't
really that
important anymore
*c.r

i never expected
to love you
this much
but i don't regret
a single bit of it

(c.r)

I'm no one special to other people
Just another out of a billion

(c.r)