her eyes were dreary
and her thoughts were clusters of nebulae
the silent atmosphere was disrupted
by her loud, complex, and disorientated mind
for once her laughter brought kaleidoscopes in her eyes
but all you can hear is the fluttering sound of a butterfly's wings
for those were the last flutters that made her feel alive

but one day you tore her down
you were both storm and pesticide
so she shrunk and withered
and couldn't take what was happening
so she was no more of
that beautiful flower
and you were no more of
her beautiful strength

*c.r

the happiness you saw
in her eyes
were like blossoming flowers
and you were both water and sunlight
so she grew into something beautiful

*c.r

you deserve everything and more
and I can't give you anything and less.

*c.r

most of the time I hate looking at pictures from the past

why?

because everything was much more simpler
       and everyone was happier

who likes to ponder around in the past
and mourn on the happiness you used to carry

the clock constantly reminds you
of the time wasted
and it daunts me that our time is slowly
but unnoticeably, running out
though it would be a pleasant serene bliss
to waste each tick and tock

                         being present with you
*c.r

i'm not there for when you wake up in the morning
                                      you're eyes crinkle because of the sun
                                      you hum quietly whilst walking
                                      you laugh so hard your stomach hurts
                                      you smile in return of a compliment
                                      you bite your lip in act of nervousness
                                      you wake up from a nightmare
                                      you cry as you're having a bad day
                                      you are truly happy
                                      

i also won't be there as you take your last breath
and i wouldn't know if it was a sigh of relief or pain.
*c.r

if imagination was what was left of me,
i wouldn't mind

though if imagination left my soul,
i would lose a piece of me
as imagination occurs
to when love is false
and i don't want to forget you
*c.r

if i were to love another and it wasn't you,
i wouldn't love at all in the first place
so let me be the cold hearted,
let me guard up my walls
surrounding my heart to keep it protected
though one day, if it came to a great surprise
and you tore down those walls one by one
you'd find the key that unlocks my heart.
*c.r

you see her sitting there
smiling at people
listening to what they're saying

but you have no idea
what goes through her mind

this shock of wave
from a tsunami tide of thoughts
daunts my brain
with questions of life
no one can answer
unless they're
dead.
*c.r

daydreams are a little
dangerous for her
as she is creating this delusional
imagination of a life with you
and we all know what happens
in the end





she's *broken

to
listen
to
the
sound
of
your
voice
somehow
comforts
me
*c.r

i care so
much about
your happiness
that mine isn't
really that
important anymore
*c.r

when the last pages
of my life is ending
i would to like think of happy
things and times i spent
with you and hopefully
sleep endlessly
taking my last breath as
a sigh of relief.
*c.r

but how stupid of me to be
tricked and illusioned into
loving the person i see in pictures
but not in real life.

i know you deserve better but honestly
i love you as time passes
i love you as my skin begins to wrinkle
i love you as seasons change
i love you as constellations occur
i love you as gravity is natural
i love you as my mind wonders
i love you as you live your life
i love you as you don't know
i love you as i'm nonexistent to you
i still love you as our hearts won't ever
love one another.
*c.r

in order for a fire or a flame
to occur or grow
they are in need of oxygen
and then, and only then
will the fire "live"

I'm the fire, you're my oxygen
so I guess i'm stuck in a black hole
where oxygen remains no more
and nor will I.
*c.r

one day you will snuggle
up with her and you will
comfort her in a thunderstorm
she will look into your eyes
she will kiss your tender mild lips
you will look at the stars together
and one day witness a falling star

that falling star could be me
falling for you,
being detached
from the sky and accepting the
fact to take a free fall into reality
*c.r

once,
you were smiling
your eyes reflecting
not only sunlight
but happiness

now,
you're smiling
your droopy eyes reflecting
not only tiredness
but emotionless

then,
you're smiling
your closed eyes reflecting
not only stillness
but death and peacefulness
*c.r

thoughts of non-existing
anymore doesn't terrify me

it's the fact that I
never really existed to
you in the first place
*c.r

"do you remember a few years go
when there was a dead scorpion
and your sister said, "poor scorpion"
well, I thought that was so genuine
of her to say so as, us humans,
expect these nasty creatures to be
dead"
                         "as it is true, we do expect them not
                          to be wondering around pestering
                          others and scaring them
                          but how would you feel if
                          you were expected by people to be
                          dead?"

I sat there and nodded
agreeing to whatever he is saying.

you give me comfort
you give me happiness
you give me feeling
you give me strength
you saved me

        but out of all of that
        i can give you nothing
        and most of all
        i can't save you.
(c.r)

I woke up remembering
the latest movements
in my dreams
but a millisecond later
you're in my mind
and so then I continue
to think about you
as an untouchable dream.
(c.r)

the freckles on your cheeks
                   and your back
lines up a constellation             
.         '           -     "
,              
.           '  -          *
       *           '
'             *    to my heart.
(c.r)

would it be a little
lazy of me to just
sleep through everything
that's going on and hibernate
throughout this heat and boredom
(c.r)

I ink my wrist
with the black eyeliner
the characters and symbols
on it make me happy and smile

                    The first line means happy
                    as I need to remind myself
                    through the day that I need
                    to smile once in a while.
(c.r)

there is this boy
I admire
with blue eyes I can
analyze endlessly
and his smile is described
as a little source of my happiness

there is this boy
I admire
who's quietness makes him
oddly attractive
and also when he fiddles with
his hair at times

there is this boy
I admire
whom in his eyes I don't exist
and in his eyes he seeks for another
and that other won't ever be me
but as long as he's happy
I'm okay
(c.r)

at the dead of night
she wakes
and finds herself
in a maze which is her mind
and she can't escape
the fact that
you don't love her back.
(c.r)

i don't like to verbally fight
so when someone throws
their anger at me
i can just stay silent
and not say a single word.

i don't like to admit things
so when you ask me
for reasons
i can just stay silent
and not say a single word

i don't like to ruin things
so when you decide to
spend time with me
i'd love that and
i can just stay silent
and not say a single word
(c.r)

what is happiness?
they say the definition is:
"state of well-being characterized by
emotions ranging from
contentment to intense joy."

well in my opinion
happiness is found
in yourself

and for me,
i found happiness
from yours
(c.r)

but how do you not want
  to live in the past?
   everything was fine!
    people were happy,
     and so was I
          

                don't you want to be
                happy?
(c.r)

it still surprises me
that i remember the places
                            the people
                            everything
                           (well not everything but you get me)
as i have a capability of going
through the places i've been before
and i can relive those moments
even though i left
for more than 2 years ago

i wonder why
           i don't go outside as much
           i don't talk to my friends as much
           i don't smile as much
i wonder why
           i cry more
           i frown more
           i stay indoors more
           i want you more
              (when you don't want me at all)
(c.r)

you raise your
hand to take
the picture
I'm truly happy
but then I realise
I'm just another
person
you're taking
a picture with,
but at least
I was once beside you.
(c.r)

i filled up
my head with you,
every time i looked up
to the sky
it reminded me
of your
pretty pale
blue eyes
i can analyze endlessly
*c.r

it isn't just me
that loves you

it isn't just me
that fell for
everything
you are

it isn't just me
that are now
broken pieces
amongst many
(c.r)

these beautiful sceneries
I admire as I flip
through The world's
most beautiful places
but after scanning
these pictures,
my face sinks to a frown

why do I keep imagining
being with you?
It's just stupid
(c.r)

as students surround the supply teacher
  as he leans over to tell them his jokes
they shriek in laughter
   and i want them to stop being fake
because you're all acting

the fact that i have
to keep everything in
for two months
until the only person
who knows my likings
and secrets
comes back
then, and until then,
can i burst my emotions
verbally

but i love the fact that
i can put my anger,
frustration, happiness and
any kind of emotion
to a piece of writing
that won't mean anything to anyone
but it would to me