Noises coming from the closet,
Feels like theres spiders in my pocket.
Things breaking in my room,
I see the twitching of the broom.
Whispers between the walls,
Footsteps down the halls.
Turning on my lamp, theres shadows everywhere,
The only thing i can do is say a prayer.
The night is bitter, the wind is strong,
Hoping the night wont be too long.
The smashing windows, the shaking of the bed,
In the end i realized it was all in my head.

When i force everything to be quiet
I ignore & shut everything, everyone out
When everything around me suddenly disappears
My back is deep in the water;
I force myself to be invisible
When I want to struggle
I dont want to save myself anymore
Im going in deeper
When my breathing gets heavier
Im forcing the tension to come into my soul
When my heart pumps faster
Im forcing the weakness to come inside my body
My lungs are closed
I cannot scream anymore
My eyeballs are rolled back
I cannot see anymore
My eardrums are damaged
I cannot hear anymore
My bones are broken
I dont want to move anymore
When all the weight is on top of me
I force my strength to leave my body
And then i let myself go again

What happens when we fall?
We get right back up
But i fell a thousand times
So my body was trained to bruise
My plans broke and then i failed
I tortured my heart so my mind could be left alone to make me struggle
I was broken and was never fixed;
And then i had to move on with unfinished stories
The stories that left me hurt;
Left me bleeding
No bandage was able to stay on
No makeup was able to make it disappear
No clothing was able to cover me
No meds were able to change me
I kept ignoring the wounds that harmed me
I wanted to push it to see what would happen to me
Washing the blood, i didnt care
Even though i saw myself failing;
And i wanted to see how much i can take
Then i thought my strength would never leave
I saw myself grew weak;
Then these wounds were taking long to leave
I couldnt do this
I wanted to end this
I felt my head turning spinning
I felt my ears ringing
I felt my eyes get blurry
I felt my mouth drying up
I felt my breathing turned heavy
And then i felt my whole body go numb with the shock of mental illness
My bones broke
My skin ripped
My mirror shattered
And my heart followed my reflection
All my pieces got lost
I pushed it so deep that i scarred
I regret listening to myself because i went too far
The first cut was for me to try
Then the wounds started escalating until i cried
I cried to wash away the pain
I cried to heal the wounds that remain
But then it was too late
I had started a whole different pain
I was at the weakest my body could have been
I snapped myself in half then i couldnt move
I was badly wounded; i wanted to erase what i have done
I was my own doctor that i had to rely on
I made my own stitches on my body to get fixed, but the damage is done
I stapled my heart together, put it will never be strong
I put a bandage on my memories, but it will always fall off
Now the pain is real
Now i harmed myself enough
It took a long time to heal my wounds
But the scars will stay forever

On the floor i lay,
The broken pieces are torn from myself
Where do i stand?
I cant
Where do i walk?
I cant
Where do i sit?
I cant
Broken
Bleeding
Undone
Unstable
I allow myself to fall
And my mind allows me to fail
Unstrong; i fight
But my strength is giving out
Giving up; i fail
And my weakness wins once again
This is forever pain
Pain is forever
& im so fragile,
Because i have no more stability
I cannot hold myself anymore
And to hold myself,
I need to accept a frame
To hold me in place
To bring my body together once again
For peace in my mind
I need & want to break free
To make myself steady
To inject myself with chemical
To turn myself inside out
My body is bruised
My body is stripped
My body is scarred
My body is cut
Ive been forced to be inside a piece of wood
Glued and tied to by body
Pressed against my brain,
It is monitoring me now
Cannot move
But i move without hurting
Cannot talk
But i talk calmly
And if this frame breaks,
Then i break
I cannot live on my own
Together but apart;
Apart i cannot do it on my own
Together with help;
Apart i cannot do this on my own
Im inside a cage
Forever i will be chained
Its only for life.
Im inside a frame,
So my body is together
Im inside a frame,
My mind is all together
And once this frame falls
I know i will fall and break in pieces
I am so used to being held up with something else's strength
A guard that wont let me down
If it leaves, i leave
Im addicted to this chemical support
Im framed outside my body
I will not be stable on my own
The frame that holds me teaches
But i will never learn to breathe on my own,
If i let myself go once again

The heart that pounds
The breath that was lost
The weakness in the body
The blurriness in the eyes
The numbness in the hands
The headaches that wont leave
The sharp pain within the skin
The blindness in the eyes
The anger that was brought on
The anxiety that would carry on
The depression that wouldnt move on
The tears in the eyes
The reality that changed
The memories that wont fade
The nightmares that stayed
The fears that wont ever escape
The strength to move on
The thoughts that block the eyes
The darkness that forbids
The drowning in the night

There isnt one day that these eyes dont cry
The tears start from memories
The memories are together safe
Locked away in my heart
But i wanted you to stay
I cant undo whats done
So now im feeling it everyday
Im broken
Im lost
And now its the pain that i truly hate
I knew you couldnt stay
But why all the suffering?
It was hard to see your pain, your weakness, and your eyes
It was hard to show the love;
The one that i regret to show
I showed it with all my strength
When you slowly had to go
Everything was just too late
A troubled girl gone blind
I noticed everything at the last minute
When it was out of time
It replays in my head like a movie;
A sad movie
Its a never ending story;
A sad story
Its a never ending nightmare;
My dreams of you here is never going to happen


rip to my angel x0

I watched a show inside my room
A show that created magic
I was the star in a magic show inside the mirror
A show that continues to replay every night
I acted in a magic show inside our room
A show that made the bed a stage
Made my clothes disappear,
and placed me in chains
Controlled my heart without reaching in my chest; and made it race
You took my voice box and tweaked it
You controlled the volume by using your skills
I thought the impossible couldn’t be done
You showered me by using your tongue
There was a fire that only I felt
My skin burned without flames; making me breathless, making my heart melt
I couldn’t see in the dark,
but you made it clear for me to watch
without opening a light
You took those images in my head
and created them for us to experience
You were a mind reader; I didn’t even need to speak
Your techniques were illusions;
You explained the whole night before you took control
I felt all those tricks
I watched all those acts
It all became real
Your hugs tricked me into being in handcuffs
Your lips muted my voice
Your tongue numbed my breath
You made a fire without a lighter and a log
It was hot without a heater and the sun
Your the magician, while I’m your contestant
You did a disappearing act;
The one that made your wand disappear inside my body

Pushed into struggling
Im not ready
Blood is boiling
Im feverish
Nerves are shaking
Im sweating
Struggling;
Im failing
My blood is escaping
My nerves are snapping
My body is getting shocked
Struggling
And failing
My blood is leading to a head rush
My nerves have been broken
My body is struck
I have failed
My blood is in puddles
My nerves have had enough
My body is heated
Im hyperventilating
Its too much
Too much to think
Too much to do
Too much to say
Im getting anxiety
My heart is pounding hard
Through my chest,
Its moving
My pulse is speeding
Im shaking
Im trembling
Unfocused,
I cannot be still
Unsettled,
Worried with fear
My face is red
My skin is blue
I feel like im being choked,
Because i cannot breathe anymore

I wanted to find the proper answers
My questions still remain unanswered
My prayers were left open with no responses
Now my tears drown me forever
I went on my knees everyday questioning if there was another way
To change it all
To fix it all
To heal it all
But the time was small
I didnt know what it actually meant when i had to hide
I didnt know what it actually meant when i felt my soul die
I didnt know what it actually meant when i finally opened my eyes
I didnt know what it actually meant when i realized the truth wasnt a lie
Now it was the time i searched you but i couldnt see
Now it was the time i tried to talk to you but i couldnt speak
Now it was the time to try to hear you but i couldnt hear
Now it was the time to reach out to you but you were forced to disappear
I knew it was that time
That time for me to cry
That time to close your eyes
That time to say goodbye

I tried everything & everything to make it disappear
The more i fight, the more i lose
So i just gave up
I never needed help until i found out i was crazy
My inner self was rotten
My inner strength was broken
And my inner soul has died
When i was alive i felt so strong
Now that im slowing down, weakness has come to me
The rain washes my tears, but i started to drown
The door closed on the darkness,
But now im locked inside a cage
My eyes shut out the nightmares,
Now im unable to see
I ran from the terror,
And now i cant breathe
No matter what i do,
It all comes back to find a way to bury me
My back is always turned because im so scared to see what isnt supposed to be there
How do i fight it?
How do i make it disappear?
Replace my anxiety with invisible puffers;
So my fears have no way of breathing into my body
Replace my tears with an invisible dryer;
So my fears will dry up inside
Replace my nightmares with constant dreams;
So my fears will disappear in the night
Replace my body with a new kinda strength;
So my fears will run away and hide
Replace my mind with water
And if i drown myself will it all be over?

Its still a nightmare;
& its still so difficult.
Im trying hard.
Im pushing myself.
Im telling myself,
Everyday that its true.
You're gone,
But never forgotten.
And I still think you're here sometimes.
Im still having a hard time accepting this pain.
It wont leave me.
I cant move on.
I cant trust myself without you here.
You were my strength,
And now Im weak without you.
Im feeling like you're trapped behind every picture I look at of you;
& your just unable to jump through the portraits.
Everytime I stare in the mirror,
I wish I was staring at you.
Everytime I go into your room,
I wish I saw you laying down.
The disappearance of your heartbeat,
Made my heart shatter to pieces.
My dreams of you feel so real.
I just wish I could never wake up.
Because when my eyes are open,
You're gone again.
Everytime I hear your name from others,
My body freezes.
And its everything;
Everything in this house,
Everything that I find,
Reminds me of you.
Puddles are everywhere from my tears.
Every tear,
Falls for everything about you;
Everything that reminds me of you.
Everything that was connected to you.
Is this actually happening?
Am I actually trying to live without you?
I just want you to be the one who wakes me up from this nightmare.
I feel like Ive been sleeping for 2 years,
& you havent come to my rescue yet.
& sometimes I try hard not to think about you,
Because it hurts too much.
& when Im so focused on thinking about you,
Its worse,
As I burst into tears.
I ask the same word everyday;
Everytime,
I think of you;
Why?
Why did this have to happen to you?
Why did you suffer all that pain?
& in the end,
You were taken away from all of us.
I cant do this anymore.
Its killing me inside.
I cant move on anymore,
I wanna hide.
I cant live without you here anymore,
Theres nothing left in life.
Why cant you come back to me?
& if not,
Why couldnt I come with you?
Its just so hard for me to accept this kinda pain;
That cut me so deep.
& Im still in so much shock.
& Im still crying.
& Im still grieving.
Its not going to get easier,
I dont care what anybody says.
I cant accept the fact that you're gone.
Im trying to tell myself,
But I cant.
Im trying to explain it to myself,
But I cant.
& by telling myself this,
Its like a slap in the face everyday.
Everyday becomes harder.
Everyday I become weaker.
Everyday I cry more.
Everyday I react differently.
Everyday I have to wake up having to deal with the truth.
I want you here,
& I cant be strong for this.
I love you.
I miss you.
I need you.

A razor cuts
A knife stabs
A punch bruises
I have been cut but not from a razor
I have been stabbed but not from a knife
I have been bruised but not from a punch
The razor was this tiny voice that noone heard, but was ignored from my mind
The knife was my heart that kept wanting to fight
The punch was my body bringing myself down
I was my own victim that i threw to the ground

Theres no air to breathe;
Because Im drowning.
Theres no space to move;
Because Im drowning.
Im trying to fight.
Im trying to be calm.
But all im doing is panicking.
I cannot swim against my waves anymore.
Because I keep choking;
& because I keep getting pulled down to the bottom.
& finally, Im underground.
Ive been drowning for years;
& I cant take it anymore.
Ive been choking for years;
& I cant breathe anymore.
Ive been falling for years;
& I cannot feel anymore.
No matter how much I try to keep my head above the water;
No matter how much I try to keep my tears inside my body;
My mind is just forcing me to bring myself underground.
I will never be able to swim again.
Because my tears will never be held back.
They will always be released.
& I will never know how to win against myself,
If I cant swim against my own water.

The stars are only there to look pretty,
Not to be our friends
The dreams are only keeping the brain calm
Not to keep us positive
The pennies only make the water *****,
Not to bring us a future
The candles on a cake is an old trick,
Each year was forgotten
11:11 is just a coincidence,
Not for the time to make us believe
Eyelashes just bother us,
Not to be happy if one falls
Wishbones just break easily,
Not to keep us strong
The moon just makes it all dark,
Not for the night to **** our nightmares
But God is still in the sky,
Lets see what happens before we die..

There is no escape.
Its so dark in here;
& I dont know whats going on.
Noones around to feel this pain.
Noones around to free me.
Im so blind,
I cant see the positivity.
Negativity strikes me like lightening,
Piercing my veins;
Shocking my nerves.
I notice Im blindfolded.
My head is put in its place,
& my body is being held down.
Im so still,
The shock is too much.
It leaves my mind blank & unable to think.
The chains on my body are making me go completely insane.
The rope on my throat gets tighter everytime I scream;
& so slowly,
Im unable to breathe.
A prisoner,
I feel I am;
I dont think I can get out of this trap.
Like a nightmare that wont end,
Im living a horror film.
I want this to end.
I want to be free.
But the more I struggle,
The more worse everything gets.
Im trying to forget about this cage Im in.
Im trying to forget about how claustrophobic it is.
Im trying to forget whats holding me down.
Im trying to forget about everything.
But everything is happening all at once.
Finally,
Im going to explode.
Im blindfolded,
To not see the positivity.
My body is in chains,
To not fix whats going on.
My neck is tightened with a rope,
That pulls tighter,
Everytime I scream for normality to come back.
My heart has a lock in it,
& the key went missing;
To make sure it gets ignored,
Each time I wanna listen to it.
The razor bracelets on my arms & hands dig deep inside my skin,
Making sure I dont stop bleeding.
It goes deeper & deeper into my skin,,
Everytime I try to move,
To make sure Im too dizzy to focus.
My head is bolted against the wall,
To have a hold on my thinking;
To have a hold on what controls my body;
& what controls my thinking.
Finally Im inside this dungeon;
A million chains.
A million locks.
Im unable to be free.
My mind is too powerful,
Because I feel what Im thinking.
The perspective of a prisoner.
This is what I feel in my own body.
This is what my head makes me suffer with.
It is me that locked myself up.
I turned off the lights in front of my own eyes,
& ended up locking up myself away forever.
Im hidden from everything.
Far away from being normal again.
It all feels so real,
Because my mind messed me up.
& I actually feel like a prisoner in my own body.
Im gone forever.
I made sure I will never escape.

The world was filled with happiness.
The world was filled with joy.
My family was filled with positive emotions.
But I was just filled with negative emotions.
I just woke up so depressed;
Because I didnt have you here.
The first time in my life;
Spending this day without you,
Made me feel so uncomfortable around people,
So unfocused around people,
So weird around people.
I just couldnt stop daydreaming about you;
& what it would be like if I had you here.
& because I wasnt used to this,
I didnt know how to handle it.
My tears have drowned me so deeply;
& Im sinking because I cannot keep my head up.
All I felt was empty.
All I felt was pain.
All I felt was depression.
& now It all wont go away.
The week of this day all i heard on the radio was "Mother's Day,"
& my heart stopped;
Then my breathing went faster;
& then it was like my body just got an electric shock.
Inside I was so numb;
Chills up & down my spine,
I just froze.
Now this day has come,
& Im missing something...
You're company,
You're love,
You're sweetness,
You're kindness,
You're happiness,
You're kisses,
You're hugs,
You're cooking,
You're spirits,
My Mother.
I just never thought I would spend this day without you.
I just never thought I would never see you again.
I just never thought I would regret so many things.
I just never thought I would feel this guilty.
I just never thought I would cry so much.
I just never thought that each day will get worse.
& I just never thought I would end up being so mentally weak;
Because I cannot handle it.
Without you here really kills me.
Without you here makes me unstrong.
Without you here makes me fill up the house with my tears.
& without you here on this day will never ever be the same.
& I will continue to cry forever.

I escaped
I broke free
I was my own enemy and fought my fears
Its a memory i dont want to remember
The bruises are inside of me
And the pain still remains
& all it takes is something small to make me turn again
Its buried,
But i accidentally dig it out
I remember
Im spacing out
I feel the pain
And so im anxious once again
That moment to remember
That moment to not breathe
That moment to try to forget
That moment to try and make it leave
Times
Places
Pictures
Things
My mind is being manipulated
Im depressed once again
My mind is being bothered
My anger is back again
My mind is being feared
Im scared once again
My mind is being played with
Im hyperventilating once again
Anything and everything
Can make the pain even worse
Anything and everything
Can release the enemy
Anything and everything
Can make me remember
Going back;
Its all making me think
I just shut my eyes and try to forget
Undo this pain once and for all
I thought it was gone forever
I guess i was wrong
And i do remember
And i dont forget
Thoughts running through my head
Memories open the door again
Im just forced to allow them back in my life
Can i just forget
How do i forget
Forget the life
That was full of regret
And then i feel like im retracing what i damaged
And what i damaged, im retracing
And what was damaged,
Is now always in a bandage.
But every so often it rips off of my mind.
Then i bleed once again

I was taken advantage of.
I am now fallen apart.
Cant focus
Cant think.
Cant speak.
My head pounds as I think.
My throat hurts as I speak.
And my heart slows down while I try to breathe.
Im just certain that my strength has been ****** out;
& I was injected with weakness.
I feel like my bones have been filed down to dust;
& that my skin has turned its colour.
Im feeling so weird.
Im not myself anymore.
My mind cant hold anymore information;
So everything is escaping,
And Im choking on all the letters when I try to make words as I try to speak.
My body is shaking,
Because I cant hold myself up anymore.
& everytime I walk,
I fall to the ground.
Im slowly breaking.
Im slowly falling apart;
Because I have lost all my strength.
Noone can save me now.
Noone can fix me now.
Everytime I look in the mirror,
I ask "why have you lost your strength?"
I get a reply saying "you've done it to yourself."

I cried a million times to think that i had no more energy to push out the tears
But now im thinking twice because i feel it all over again
Im getting drained once again
I feel my heart pounding like before
I cant accept what i wanted to be unreal
I cant push away what the images are showing me
I appear alone
I appear alone with the door closed
Not only closed; but locked with an invisible key
As i lay down, the weight chokes me
Just forcing myself not to breathe; i cant think anymore
I feel a set of invisible hands strangle me as i lose control
I cant continue to think, when its making me worse
I close my eyes to try to remember how to breathe
Then suddenly i feel a wave of anxiety hit me
The fears find me,
My memories say hi to me
The past; that haunts me
I cant control whats happening
I cant control what stays
I cant control what visits me
I just cant control these emotions that remain
Lying here, feeling small
Feeling like i have no voice
I cant breathe; its just hard to breathe
Now my eyes cant see
On my back i hyperventilate,
On my back im choking
The weight is on top of me and now im trying to break free
Turning over, trying to catch my breath
I cannot escape from this feeling
My hands are so shaky as i try to gain strength to squeeze whats under my head
I thought that if i move i would erase all my thoughts
But its the same; if not worse
I feel my face all wet
Wet, from my eyes that i couldnt control
I tried to be strong one last time but i failed
Its pointless for the pain to just go away
I tried to burry my thoughts
I tried to burry my fears
But i buried my face to try to forget
But im only releasing my tears..

I went from strong to weak; my body broke down
I never functioned after i had fallen
But i fell mentally, not physically
And i broke a thousand pieces within me
I failed myself physically; because i harmed what was already hurt
And i bruised what was already visible
I had shattered what was already broken
And i hid what was already lost
When my body broke, i had lost the strength to continue;
and so when i fell, i had lost the ability walk
When my mind collapsed, everything collapsed, so i became broken into pieces & shattered into slivers
I couldnt put myself back together
Only my mind has the ability to fix me
But it wont
I became lost, and confused
Tired, and abused
I became worthless, and used
Thrown, and reused
I wanted revenge, but i couldnt
I asked my mind to set me free, but it wouldnt

The colour red,
Took over all the other colours;
As my anger takes over all emotions.
Like a switch that turns on in my head;
Im suddenly alert at what tends to strike me.
I feels like Ive been hit with a thousand bricks.
It feels like Ive been burned with fire.
It feels like Im choking,
& so I try to grasp for air.
It feels like my heart stops working each time.
It feels like my body collapses all together.
Its at the moment that my mind thinks its ok to allow me to snap;
Allow me to lose my temper.
Im wanting to control myself,
But I keep losing my mind.
I cant find the strength to control myself.
Im guilty of anger.
Im guilty of going off the deep end;
& finally drowning.
I only find my strength when Im strong enough to lose control.
So violent;
The doors I slam.
The things I throw.
The floor that I bang.
My hair that I pull.
My skin that I pierce.
My vioce that I project.
My whole body;
That creates a storm.
Im so full of rage.
Its a nervous heart beat,
Pounding through my chest.
Instead of breathing,
Im gasping for air.
Im unable to relax;
I overreact at each situation.
I feel so trapped inside my body;
Like there is something inside me that wont escape.
Its making me go crazy,
As it controls me.
So hard when I try to calm myself down.
The more I try,
The more outta control I get.
My nerves wont stop shaking.
My heart wont stop pounding.
My mind wont stop racing.
Acting before thinking,
Im physically dangerous.
Thinking before acting,
Im mentally wanting to **** myself.
I wish I knew what to do.
I wish I knew how to deal with everything.
I wish I knew how to control myself.

A spoiled handsome prince
A beautiful enchantress in disguise
A spell that would last forever
It was a test
A rose was an exchange
He turned her away, and had to remain ugly forever
Until he loves
Until he changes
He remain; a beast forever
Depressed & confused
His heart was so cold
He needed love
Before the rose got old
Far away a beauty appears
Her big hazel eyes had such good intentions
Her lips shine as she sings
And a brunette long hair waved around as she dances
Full of life
Full of kindness
The opposite of who she will soon meet will frighten her
A sudden trap,
The beasts heart exploded
Papa is trapped,
But she gained strength to free him
The deal she made
The shock of life
Her life,
Prisoner forever
Seconds to minutes, they stare at eachother with silence
Minutes to hours, they fight constantly
Hours to days, everything was finally stable
Days to nights, the heart became warm again
The sound of her voice calmed the nerves;
Calmed the castle
The touch of her body turned him weak;
Made eyes bigger
The two that danced;
The two that sang,
The two that slowly turned hate to love
Bitterness was he;
Who turned into kindness
Miserable was he;
Who turned into happiness
Scary was he;
Who he turned gentle
And then suddenly,
A disaster
A magic mirror never told a lie
Run;
She needed to run
The beautiful dress;
She needed to change
The tall friend; the love;
She wanted to leave
Papa is sick
She needed to leave
His emotions were mixed
Torn
Sad
But understanding, he let her go
The ROSE;
She had left behind
Home sweet home
Not for long,
Not for peace
And now they wanted to **** the beast
& the castle dark with fear;
Protection could only be so long before its broken into a thousand pieces
And then finally a nightmare got created
The door opens
The arrow pointed
A man, who was a real beast inside had struck a restored heart
So silent;
It was too silent
Her body exhausted so she threw herself at him
"Please dont leave me;
I LOVE you"
And then the last rose petal had fallen down to die
Seconds were approaching
And then his sweet heart stopped
Her tears became apart of the rain
Into the puddles, she shed
There was a deep depression in her eyes
There was no more hope inside her mind
Silence turned to noise
A struck of bright light,
And then some more
A struck of bright lines,
And then alot more
and as he lifted into the sky,
He was unzipped out of that hideous costume
It was an amazing site
The glowing skin of a transformed figure
Eyes more crystal blue then ever
The body of a newly updated prince
Heart finally of gold
The wind pushed him close
His breath opened his lips
"Its me"
And then he waited for her response patiently
& then she was speechless until she realizes the truth
They're eyes connected deep within their minds
Deep within their souls
The happiness struck her suddenly and softly her vocal cords pushed the words of excitement out of her red lips;
"It is you"

Its just a hidden name
But it means the same
In try to change it
But i feel the same
I try to re name it
But it looks the same
I cant undo whats done
All the colours that were mine,
Has disappeared away from my mind
Im experiencing a deep, dark shadow
And my image is escaping;
I wanna run & hide
Im drowning
And only myself can save my mind
My tears are whats making me unbreathe
As i try to gasp for air, i feel my lungs being crushed some more
The razor hides because i abused it
Now i smash a mirror to remake it
And im walking with my eyes closed
Do i really wanna do this again?
I cannot hold myself back
I am my own enemy
I try to stop myself from harm
But i keep forcing mutilation upon my body
On the floor i fall; i bleed
On the floor im struggling to save me
Once again i cry
Once again i hyperventilate
Once again im angry
Once again i abuse
Once again im in pain
Once again i dont care

So happy all of us together;
Because you were around.
You looked so beautiful;
& so happy to be with us once again.
I was happy that you came back.
All of us,
So surprised;
But it felt so real.
Felt so normal.
So comforting to be with you.
The conversations where we left off last,
& The stories we spoke of.
Your company made us all stay together.
Made us all reunite again.
Fun & games;
All the girls in one room;
Laughing about everyday life.
And then it happened once again;
You had to go.
Questions were asked.
So you told us you needed to leave forever once again.
To go back up to heaven;
& then we all suddenly drowned in our own tears.
After you came back,
I really thought you were back forever;
& never leaving us again.
So you went around to everyone of us;
Said your goodbyes.
I broke down in tears;
Told you not to go again.
But you said you had to go.
My tears suddenly washed away all my happiness;
And then you tears started to fall.
And you never drowned like we did;
But it all ended;
& you were gone.
I woke up so depressed.
I woke up so confused.
I woke up crying;
& then I balled my eyes out.
I felt like i was in another world.
A beautiful dream with you back;
With a sorrowful ending with you disappearing once again.
My head is still pounding;
I just stayed up all night feeling different.
I just felt like I suddenly got worse.
Now everything is going to get worse.
This dream really ****** me up;
& Im still crying.
Im traumatized once again.

When the darkness takes over the soul
Its a struggle to fight back
Then the bitterness approaches
And then i had to attack
My fears
My thoughts
My anger
My tears
The rage within me
The pain within me
I cannot stop now
Overpowering the spirit
The light inside me has closed
Controlling of the mind
Then the darkness opens a door
Crooked heart
Crooked soul
My shadow wants to escape
Crooked mind
Crooked personality
My soul is buried away
Twisted weakness
A strength with only a force
Evil lies inside a spell
Making my blood pour
Releasing tension,
My body is just broken
Releasing anger,
My screams has spoken
Releasing violence,
My strength has taken over me
Releasing tears,
My heart is bleeding
Difficult to function
And when i try, i make mistakes
Difficult to be calm
And when i try, i end up screaming
Difficult to talk to everyone
And when i try, i burn with anger
Difficult to be stable
And when i try, my moods keep changing
Difficult to be still
And when i try, i end up hurting
Difficult to change
And when i try, im start all over again

When the lights go out
When my fears come closer
When i feel like im choking
When i feel my skin shiver
When i need oxygen to breathe
When im intoxicated with liquid
When i need the drug to function
When i draw blood from my skin
When i cry
When i yell
When im quiet
When im loud
When i panic
When im scared
When i hallucinate
Is when noone is there
When i have anxiety
When i hyperventilate
When i become violent
When im filled with hate
When i see negativity
When i hear the lies
When i feel the cold
When im hurt inside
When im out of control
When i cant find the strength
When its just too much to handle
Is when everything goes blank
Goodbye to the freedom
Hello to my new chains
Goodbye to the happiness
Hello to my tears that rain
Goodbye to the light
Hello to the dark
Goodbye the bright colours
That were in my heart

I raised that hand one more time
Not to say goodbye;
But to say hi
Hi to the skin that healed many years ago
Goodbye to the unmarked wrist that finally went unharmed
That shiny, silver thing wasn’t a pretty jewel, nor a diamond
It wasn’t a piece of jewelry, or accessory, and not a pretty belt
All of a sudden my mind breaks the rules;
targeting one more time
Making me weak,
and ******* up one last time
It was a pressure that I once felt
I revisited the past while in the present
I unlocked a door with the missing key
A key I threw away, to get rid of my anxiety
It wasn’t a shiny; beautiful key
wasn’t the colour gold; it was was black & *****
The darkness were thoughts racing through my mind
The dirtiness was blood making me pour from the inside
I wanted a release that I used to give dangerously
I craved a new pill that I have never seen
I thought I killed the past;
or at least laid it to rest
I thought I would never pick up this weapon again
Sometimes we are convinced we are ok
and that we are finally strong
Then our mind becomes our enemy once again and proves us wrong

I pretended like i was a fortune teller,
because i was used to the negativity that happened all around me
For years, i never prepared for the worst,
but i prepared my emotions
I trained my mind to accept what was
thrown at me
And then i trained my body to accept what was harming me.

I got anxiety before things happened
I cried before i knew what would make me sad
I got angry before i knew what would upset me
I became bruised before i was hurt inside
I bled before my skin was cut
I fought before a fight was started
I fell before i ran

I hyperventilated before the anxiety
I poured out tears before i could cry
I screamed before i could get angry
I was marked before i could get bruised
I drowned in my blood before i could bleed
I lost a fight before i could battle myself
I broke before i could catch my fall

I was already immune to the darkness, because i never saw the light
I was already immune to the pain, because i knew what always harmed me
I was already immune to myself,
because im the reason i was prepared

Ive delt with enough ****,
Because I kept myself standing.
Ive heard all the negativity,
Because I kept my ears unblocked.
Ive witnessed what I didnt wanna see,
Because I held my eyes open.
Ive been verbally abused,
Because I didnt want to defend.
I gave my strength to other people,
Because I saw their pain.
Ive showed happiness,
Because my other emotions were still unborn inside me.
Ive held my tears back,
Because I thought I was brave.
I pretended to be smart,
Because I didnt want to show that I was so confused.
I was so quiet that my problems were  never shared with people,
Because I thought I could have helped myself.
I started to become hyper;
I started to become angry;
I started to become depressed;
I started to become anxious;
I started to become scared;
I started to become miserable,
I started to become forgetful,
I started to become nervous,
I started to change everything into a person I didnt recognize anymore.
And in the mirror I try to find that girl I used to be;
But I know she has disappeared.
..So now I lay like a piece of glass;
Broken & shattered on the floor.

Your upper body is strong,
While mine is weak.
Your hips r weak,
While mine are strong.
Your feet are strong,
While mine are weak.
Your hands are weak,
While mine are strong.
My legs are strong,
While yours are weak.
My arms are weak,
While yours are strong.
Your lips are strong,
While mine are weak.
Your eyes are weak,
While mine are strong.
Your upper body works mine,
While my hips work yours.
Your feet works mine,
While my hands work yours.
Your arms work mine,
While my legs work yours.
Your lips work mine,
While my eyes work yours.
In the end our minds are at the same level,
While our bodies are uneven.
In the end our minds are on the same page,
While our bodies are all over the place.
But in the end we wanted the same thing,
While in the end we did it different ways.

Trembling with mood swings
Im screaming
My throat is broken
& my cords are snapped open
Shaking with fear
Im crying
My eyes are burning
& my pupils made me go blind
Shivering with anxiety
Im hyperventilating
My nasal passages are completely blocked
& my lungs had collapsed
Dizzy with noises
My eardrums had shattered
& my ear canal has been cut
Numbness on my body
Everything had lost its strength

Cuts like a knife
Rips like a piece of paper
Drags like an object
Addicting like a drug
Small but powerful
And i couldnt protect myself
And the only safety i had was water & tissue
To clean the blood from my scars
The troubles pushed through my veins
The pain forced through my skin
The breathing that i missed was too fast
But i caught it once i relaxed myself to sleep
My fears were hidden
My nightmares were asleep
My anxiety temporarily caught its breath
My pain was healed invisibly
Until the pain ends,
My eyes are wide open
And then im so strong
But my heart was so weak
It pounds with fear;
It escapes comfort
Im smiling at this point because i know ill be calm
My hand grips
My arm tightens
My veins, shaken
My skin, finally struck
And the blood reveals itself once it escapes
Theres no pain
Theres no harm
Theres no feeling
The pain is in the heart
The harm is in the soul
The feeling is in the mind
The thoughts of something that shouldnt be spoken of
I RAISE my hand to my skin
Im into the ER now
My own ER room
And i dont care if i leave now.
RAISE ER
RAZER
It cuts me..

I found out i was weak,
Then i found my mind's strength
Then i realized the reality,
So i found an escape from my pain
In this reality i cannot fake;
I cannot fake a mind thats going insane
I found all my nightmares and tried to wake up
I got knocked back down; my eyes glued shut
I walked in the darkness, searching for the light
Then again my eyes shut, i became blind
My eyes opened, thats where i saw my wounds
While i was blind, my mind took control
I bled through it all because i couldnt keep it in
I tore my skin
I bruised my bones
I licked my wounds
I cried on my scars
I was my own bandage but wouldnt stick
And as i keep falling apart, i bleed all over again
I was my own enemy i had to fight,
But then i found weakness once the strength to my heart had died

The sadness inside has grown
The sadness inside developed a habit
And im still broken
The tears that keep falling,
Developed an ocean & so ive drowned;
Thinking about one thing
Everything will always continue to be black;
& the colours of my spirit have faded away
The silence of my voice is the only loudness thats being heard
Im deaf being quiet
Im mute from screaming
Im drowning from crying
I walked on black ice,
And fell many times
I tried to swim in water,
And i continue to drown
I tried to be strong,
But in the end i was weak
My head was so empy,
But full of sadness
My heart was empty,
But full of pain
My mind was empty,
But full of negativity
My spirits were empty,
But full of emotions
My eyes were empty,
But full of tears
The colour that represents this pain is dark
No shadows
No light
Just dark and black
And this is the depression in the end of this tragedy
This is my sorrow

It was the kinda touch I wanted when I felt your hand around my throat
You squeezed for the air to be trapped, but you wanted to hear a scream
It was the kinda kiss I wanted when I felt your mouth ****** onto my lips
You bit for for me to bleed, and not to be cut
It was the kinda feeling I wanted when I felt your body holding me down
You pressed so I would be trapped, but you wanted to watch my body move
It was that kinda seduction I wanted when I felt everything you did
You made me fall in love with *** all over again

My heart is beating normally.
My breathing is so steady.
Until I wait;
Wait for you to ruin me.
You've already ***** me with your eyes.
I felt the blades piercing through my body.
Now I want to feel that pain with your hands.
I want to feel that the closer you walk,
The more excited I get.
The closer you walk,
The speed of my heart;
The speed of my breathing,
Gets faster.
Mentally,
Im ******* you.
Physically,
I want to copy the movie thats playing in my head.
The more I stare,
The more I want.
The more I want,
The more dehydrated I get.
& my body needs yours to quench mine.
My body needs yours to enter mine.
& my body needs yours to calm mine.
Excitement is striking even more;
My breathing is starting to get heavy.
& I need your lips as a puffer;
I have an invisible asthma, and its getting worse.
I need you to breathe into me;
Fill my lungs with your air & strength.
All these naughty thoughts going through my head is just strangling me.
& Im strangled by your ****** presence.
Its causing me to find my breath and catch it.
Causing me to find my pulse and relax it.
& then there you were;
Right in front of me.
No more invisible wall.
No more waiting.
I was getting so impatient.
& then we **** the lights.
& then we **** the clothes.
Entering me finally,
The look in your eyes were asking me to breathe harshly.
& then your energy took over my body.
Your ears just wanted to hear,
Your eyes just wanted to see,
How crazy you can get me.
Then finally,
All your power,
All your strength.
All my power,
All my strength.
I wanted more & more each time.
Gasping for air,
There were no words.
Gasping for air,
I couldnt even speak.
The air through my lungs,
Turned my body into a tornado that you've created.
& so Im spinning with unstoppable pleasure.
You've released your energy onto me.
I've released my excitement onto you.
Im beginning to choke.
The air through my chest,
The pounding of my heart;
I blame you.
I have forgotten how to breathe.
I have forgotten how to scream.
The pleasure that Im feeling cannot be described.
Faster,
Harder,
Deeper;
My breathing is speeding up.
Stronger,
Crazier,
Driven,
I cannot catch my breath.
Hotter,
Sweatier,
Harsher,
Im finally hyperventilating.

My eyes were made to see, but seduction distracted me
My lips were made to speak, but your kiss ignored me
my body was made to reach, but your hands kept wandering

Your eyes were made to ****** me, and not to see
Your lips were made to kiss me, and not to speak
Your ears were made to hear my screams, and not to hear anything else
Your hands were made to touch me, and not touch anything else

The wall was made to hold me up, when you throw me against it
The floor was made to catch my clothes, when you strip them off of me
The bed was made to hold me, when you roughly make love to me

My body was created and then torn apart
Like a puzzle that noone was able to put me back together
Through my skin,
I bled myself to hyperventilation
Through my body,
I drank myself to sleep
Through my soul,
I cried myself to dream
My head was left
My heart was always right
My arms were heavy
My legs were light
My eyes were always burned
My nose was plugged
My mouth was always stretched
My ears were always clogged
My pupils had been scratched
My nasal cavity had been pushed on
My vocal cords had been cut
My ears had been popped
My fingers and toes had been hit
My hair hasnt been strong
My face had been squeezed
My body had been numb
My body had been torn apart since it got created
Noone was able to put me back together with the pieces of my puzzle
When i was bleeding,
I wanted to bleed some more
When i was drinking,
I drank myself out the door
When i was crying,
Noone heard me

Im liking my nightmares
and loving the darkness
Im hating my dreams
and im despising the light
Im liking my fears
and loving the horror
Im hating the happiness
and im despising the excitement
Im liking every sad moment
Im loving every angry episode
Im loving every negative thought,
Because my mind taught me what the brain was told

The darkness closed my eyes and made me go blind
Then i saw everything i feared inside of my head
My nightmares had me scared and then my heart suddenly raced
Once the nightmares were actually true, i started to hyperventilate
I felt all my anxiety as i tried to undo the strangulation
But i didnt know whats strangling me
I didnt know whats squeezing me
The darkness is all around me
Now my fears are bothering me
My thoughts wont leave me
My thoughts want me bleeding
Im trying to save myself from unbreathing
Im feeling my heart jump as i try to calm my nerves
Im feeling my breathing stop as i open my mouth and try to scream
Im feeling my eyes pop as i try to block the static
Im feeling my skin move as i try to sew my pieces back together
Im feeling my bones break as i try to hold myself together
Im black & blue
Im cold but im numb
Im broken & shattered
Im hyperventilating but im choking
Im scared & lost
Im fighting but im struggling
Im losing & its tiring
Im giving up but i wanna break off my fears from my neck

Its a mixture of emotions
Emotions that wont change
I still wonder why i continued to be insane
Where i stand,
Is the same spot i began with
I cannot erase my footprints if they were always mistakes i didnt change
I wanted to bury my hurts, my scars, and the memories
I wanted to close the doors, the windows, and lights
I wanted to erase the images, the words, and the time
I wanted start over but i strength already died
I didnt know that i was still struggling
I didnt know that i was still weak
I didnt know that i finally lost it all
I didnt know how to speak
I didnt know i still had to fight
I didnt know i was still had to bleed
I didnt know i still had to take pain
I didnt know how to breathe
Some days im fine
But then it all turns on me
I cant see if im blinded by negativity
I cant even breathe if i choke on all the pain
I still think,
And then i worry
I still worry,
And then i get anxiety
I get anxious,
Then i feel the anger
I get angry,
Then i feel the depression
I get depressed,
Then i cry
I feel the tears,
But i dont know why

There was a story that was true
Each chapter was full of drama
Each page was full of heartache
Each word was full of tears
Each letter i tried to make disappear
As i read myself through,
I cry and then the ink washes away as it turns into my blood
My tears have tried to knock my chapters out
Inside my life a new chapter keeps happening;
And then i always wish it would all go away
My hurt has returned
Each ending is actually a beginning
I cant escape from the cover that tries to close me inside
All the pictures, dark with no explanation
My colours had no strength to reveal themselves
These words inside;
Inside its my head
Im writing and screaming; my mind through my hand
My hand is so tight as i write on myself
Im writing the words of my insides that im forcing out
The pencil im holding;
A strange looking pencil
This pencil is actually an addiction
Im so brainwashed from my mind
I never knew pencils had blades..
As i sit and read myself one last time,
I rip out the pages
Now its even worse
What did i do?
Now im torn
Now im split open
I feel more chapters have come back to harm me
My skin is bleeding;
This book has no ending

Close the door
And break the lock
Rip apart the sheets
Now lay me down
My ears are open,
And touched from your mouth
Im forced to be silent
Im forced not to be loud
The vocal cords turned down its volume
And to talk, its restricted.
The less we talk
The more we move
The less we stall
The more we get done
The less we think
The more daring we become
A kiss from the lips of a face with seduction
A touch from a body with no shame to wander
Its so silent and dark
Now its unexpected of what im gonna feel
Theres no speaking allowed
But my voice can be loud
Theres no complaining allowed
But we can be rough
Theres no turning back now
But only to turn with a new move
There no stopping now
But we can stop to catch our breath
When a mark is made,
Its when the teeth sink in
When the wrists cant move
Its when the hands are gripping tight
When the breathing is hard
Its when the bodies are strong
When the yelling is loud
Its when the hand covers the mouth
Inside my ear, i hear you
But when i feel you, thats when i can understand
I think its better we dont talk
A whisper from your lips,
Is how we can go on
A whisper from your lips,
Is how you know you can turn me on
Its so hard to talk
But the feeling is unexplainable
The very little sound that comes from the diaphragm,
Is alot to show a satisfaction
Your eyes talk
But your lips move
Your hands move
But your ears dont listen
Your body doesnt listen
So my body accepts
Your actions has me hyperventilating
Your thoughts has me wanting more
& its so much better when its so silent
The sound of our breathing
Is louder than ever
The sound of the bed
Is the noisiest it can ever be
Drowning in sweat,
But i dont want to be rescued
U rescued me from the minute you locked the door
All my worries,
All my fears,
All my anger,
All my tears;
Have all disappeared when you silenced me through actions
I dont ever wanna talk when were in that moment

My room turned into glass; then it shaped itself into a bowl
I didnt know the next step until i got brainwashed and it all made sense to cry
To fill up the bowl, it was all planned
In the end i know im going to drown
My fears broke me
My anxiety striked me
My nightmares haunted me
My mind played me
Inside the glass, my screams only echoed back
Noone was able to hear me ask for help
I wanted to continue to scream but it was so pointless as i became so weak
There was no air to breathe;
Only the top was open for me to see
I didnt know how to climb out
I didnt know how to run away
I didnt know how to break away from all the mistakes that were made
Every single night;
I had cried,
I laid in bed with closed eyes
I had no more strength so i struggled
I wanted to escape all the trouble
And i felt like a statue;
Couldnt move
Couldnt speak
Couldnt hear
Couldnt breathe
I felt trapped inside my own room
I locked away dreams & wishes that i once knew
I wanted to change
I wanted to grow
But instead i was stuck
And i kept going low
I keep being attacked, but noones here
Im alone
I know noone will hear
Everything taken, so my heart would bleed
The water kept coming as my eyes couldnt see
I panic because the bowl is half full
I just cant stop even if i try to punch a hole
I had forgotten how to swim
So im sure i will drown
This water is even salty so it burns my cuts & scars that keep opening as i bleed on the ground
Im trying to dry the water but it keeps coming so i cant sleep in peace
My bed is soaked; how do i rest?
My face is drenched; how do i stop?
My eyes are burning; how do i forget?
Im drowning
I cannot see
Now my room is filled to the top so i cannot breathe
I have no choice but to lay here waiting for it all to shatter and stop my eyes from leaking

What didnt touch me, harmed me
What touched me, i didnt push away
My friends were the weapons;
It was the mind that made me bleed
The bruises never failed
The pain always existed
The scrapes were visible
The cuts kept opening up
They say the sticks and stones break you
Its a lie because i played
The names and memories are the ones that hurt you
Its true because i finished the game
My tears didnt get made from physical harm
I drowned from unexplainable hurts
Memories never fade
Images never run away
Lost and never found
My mind had escaped
Harmed without being touched;
I looked through the past
And had nightmares of the present
And now im trying to survive the future
Sticks and stones never bothered me
Knives and weapons always helped me
Alcohol would be relaxing to me
But now the mind inside still has a hold on me
My bones didnt break but my heart was the one that broke
My brain didnt get damaged but my mind was the one that got ruined
My skin didnt peel but my strength was the one that was peeling off me
My body didnt collapse but my soul collapsed and took off from me

When my bones turned brittle
When my veins turned to frost
When my skin turned pale
When my heart turned black
When my mind turned to ice
I froze over and slipped away
I slid into walls that i couldnt tear down
I slid into cages that i couldnt escape from
I slid into a doors that i couldnt unlock
I slid through paths that i got lost
I slid through fire that i got burned
I slid through glass that cut me and started to bleed
I slid through the air and then i fell with no protection
I slid through a wire that i lost all my strength when i couldnt hold on any longer
Inside my nightmare, im living in fear
Inside my mind, im drowning in tears
Inside my body, i cannot get out
Inside myself, i faded away

I try to move but i cant find the strength
I cut myself deep and now i bleed the pain out
I cant function and i dont know where to focus
Im reaching out but everything is just so far away
My body is slowly giving up
Everything is moving away
Inside myself i feel it all crack
All i ever had, is now hard to get back
I feel it all disappearing
All the damage is breaking me
My fears are all taking over me
I wanna escape the darkness
But the darkness is inside me
Im actually going nowhere..
Im slowly losing myself
Im being stretched as i try to think
And im being torn as i try to repair my pieces
My muscles are tense
And then they become knotted
My blood is thinning out
And then it escapes
My veins are shot
And then they snap
My bones are weak
And then they shatter
My heart is giving up
And then it breaks
I lost strength
I feel empty
I lost feeling
I feel the dizziness
I lost interest
I feel different
I lost my mind
I feel nothing.

Uncontrollable disaster appeared inside my head
Physically, i was strong to one kind of abuse
Mentally, i was weak to different kinds of abuse
Emotionally my weakness continued for years
All the doors closed when my head turned the other way
The only door that remained opened was the mirror
But i shattered it so many times
That the pieces cut me like a knife
I kept bleeding inside myself
Then it poured out through my eyes
I kept bleeding outside myself
Then it poured right back inside
There were lonely nights that i made so dangerous
There were quiet nights that i hyperventilated
There were dark nights when i was fighting fear
There were lights on at night when i stayed up for days
There were days that i covered my arms
There were days that my throat was dry
There were days that i lost the fights
There were days that i was over tired
I wanted to give up
I wanted to end
I wanted to leave
I wanted to say goodbye to it all
The pain was so deep
I was pierced with so many swords
Inside my body i mentally died
Smiles were never thoughts
Laughing was just to hide
Anxiety was not a choice
Hyperventilation was uncontrollable
Anger was everyday
Crying was too hard to stop
Alcohol
Mutilation
***
Was the only happiness i knew
Drunk
Bleeding
Guys
Was the only way out
My worst nightmare i had was seeing myself alive
And the best dream i had was seeing myself dying
Slowly i ignored my family
Slowly i ignored my friends
Slowly i ignored myself
Suddenly i stopped listening to my family
Suddenly i stopped listening to my friends
Suddenly i stopped listening to myself
Sadly i turned cold towards my family
Sadly i turned cold towards my friends
Sadly i turned cold towards myself
Everyone tried to talk to me
And i pushed them away
Everyone tried to be nice
And i turned the other way
Everyone was scared to come near me
And i backed away
Everyone thought i was crazy
And i was
I finally disappeared
I drowned in my own tears
I tripped over my own feet
I choked on my own oxygen
I punched my own mirror
I disrespected my own heart
I bled from my own hands
I hurt my own self

Unresponsive as i try to think it through
I try to undo this pain, but i cannot erase what has already been left permanent
Nothing has healed
I know, because im still wounded
Nothing was sealed
I know, because i tried every bandage
Nothing was stitched
I know, because i still bleed
Bruises fade
But the scars remain
I bleed through every tear with every pain
Im drenched in my tears
I drown as i weep
I cannot control the emotions that have a hold on me
The movies in my mind never ends
The pictures in my head never changes
The memories in my brain still wanders
My body suddenly weakens as i try to stand up to myself
I try to be the one to stop it all, but i made it worse
The sadness that i express, creates a pounding heart that shakes
The sadness that i express, creates a shaky heart that breaks
The sadness that i express, creates a broken heart so lost
Lost inside the cage of darkness
The darkness holds me without a key
Without a key, im inside a square
The square with mirrors all watching me
I watch myself try to overcome my fears
I watch myself never allowing to stop my tears

Slowly with a touch,
The bed holds our bodies
Pressing hard against my mouth,
The strength of your lips push me down
Its dark and silent
Its already hot and heated
Our eyes lock,
And im not allowed to speak
As you undress me slowly,
My heart races happily
The excitement rises,
As we promise the night wont end
Wrapped with your hands,
My wrists are locked against the bed
My neck is shocked from your mouth as im gasping for air
******* the life outta me, i accept when you take control
Forcing your body against mine,
Your arms appear like a cage;
Making sure i dont move,
Making sure i dont escape
But i would never try to move in a spot so seductive
Phones silent
Door closed
Tv loud
The floor covered with clothes
As you take away all my worries and fears, my body relaxes
As you take away all my tension, my body becomes so weak
As my body becomes weak,
You become even more stronger
Your strength inside my body suddenly stabilizes me to the point where my arms squeeze you tight
And then i whisper inside your ear what my body wants more of..
An amazing disaster has our hormones going crazy
I feel the pleasure
And the beautiful pain
The bites from our lips to our skin,
The grip from your hands to my body;
Then your hand covers my mouth as your body raises my voice
The scratching from my nails to your back,
And then it gets so intense
There is no such word as stop