She recognizes,
It was only the first time
So the pain only lasted for a short time
She hurt,
The pain started again
It started to show
It started to notice
Silence wouldnt allow a voice to talk
She bruised,
Her mind was played with
Her body was thrown around
Her soul was pierced
She abused,
The marks showed the emotions within her
The blood was proof
It forced itself out of her body
And then she was weak
She murdered,
Shes so dead inside herself
Shutting everything and everyone out
& the company she ever had was negativity
Sharp objects were her friends;
And the only weapons she only knew
The more she faught, the more she wanted to damage
The worse it became
& the damage was done
She murdered;
The jail was her body
Her mind lost the key

Only the time can stop
Only the time can go
And only the tears can be controlled,
If these things run smoothly
I try to think, but my mind freezes
I try to see, but my eyes turn blurry
I try to speak, but i choke
I try to breathe, but i hyperventilate
I try to listen, but my ears create static
When good happens,
He evil is behind it already bringing on the bad
When a positive turns to a negative thats when all hell breaks loose
I began on the wrong path,
Then at the end, the right path stole me away
Once i was in the right world,
The wrong path blinded me once again
I failed, but then i succeeded
And when i continued to do good,
I began failing all over again
I was angry, then i became happy
When i was seen with a smile,
The happiness was taken from me once again
When i cried,
My tears dried up forever
But when the puddles disappeared,
I was depressed all over again
I was bleeding,
Then my skin was sewed shut
But when there was no more red liquid,
The stitches unraveled themselves;
and i began bleeding all over again
My screams turned to whispers,
Now im loud again
My cries turned to laughter,
Now im crying again
My eyes opened up,
Now im blind again
My ears took in noise,
Now im deaf again
My mouth was able to speak,
Now im mute again
My nose was able to breathe,
Im hyperventilating again
My fears disappeared,
Now im scared again
My struggling stopped,
Now its happening again
Inside my mind i became calm,
Now i cant take the pain all over again
I have changed for the better,
Now the stranger is back once again

The mind is incomplete
I have been thinking without a brain
I have been seeing without eyes
I have been hearing without ears
I have been breathing without a nose
I have been speaking without a mouth
The path i took was dark
It was full of black walls
And then i turned to the devil
That wouldnt let me see through a window
It was my only friend
& friends dont last forever
They turn on you so quick
This friend was fake
And then i learned what being scared was all about
My heart was pure
It was strong until it broke
Anxiety grew
Moods grew stronger
I learned how to cry
I learned how to yell
I learned violence
And then the blood found an escape;
It was the strength of a hand that wanted to release all the pain
Learned to think, but bitter thoughts
Learned to see, but disturbing images
Learned to hear, but listening to all the lies
Learned to breath, but hyperventilating
Learned to speak, but cannot explain anything
This was out of control
I was out of control
I didnt know the feelings that were created deep inside me
How do i act
How do i think
How do i know who i really am
I cannot trust myself ever again

I hear voices,
My own voices;
Negative and positive
One voice to fail,
Once voice to succeed
But my ears fall under a spell that cannot be broken
My mind is telling me to leave
Listening to a broken soul,
Im struggling, im fighting
Who is this voice thats trying to speak
Where is this voice thats trying to see
I disappeared
And i didnt come back
Inside a cage im locked
The key is inside my mind
My heart tries to break through
But it weakens
Im trapped
Unable to escape
Pounding into my chest;
My throat is trying run
I cannot breathe,
Because the pace of my heart is choking me to fear
Now my heart bleeds,
Bleeding into a body
This is how it speaks
What is it trying to say? Im confused
Its trying to talk to me
In my ears it whispers;
"I miss you please come back"
I hear but i dont understand
Im blind but i can only see the darkness deep inside my soul
I cannot move
I cannot think
Where am i supposed to go? I ask my heart
My mind wont let me escape
The repetitive signals from the heart,
Is killing me each time it tries to speak
I cannot follow
I cannot leave
Its not easy
And my heart wants me to sneak
Im hyperventilating now
I know im going to fall
Im dizzy,
Im nautious
What is it trying to tell me
Im having bad anxiety
My hot flashes are starting
My face is red
My body is trembling
My skin is sweating
These attacks are getting worse
My tears force themselves through my eyes
Its forcing me to cry
My head is killing me
My mind is punishing me
I dont want to do this no more
I dont want to suffer no more
If i come back to myself will things be better?
If i come home to myself will it all disappear?
The heart craves what it wants
But the mind takes what it can steal
The heart screams
The mind fights back
The heart cries
The mind laughs
The heart pulls
The mind pushes
The heart blocks
The mind breaks
The heart begs
The mind ignores
The heart wants to heal
The mind continues to bleed
The mind creates darkness
And so the heart turns black
The mind creates tension
And so the heart pumps faster
The mind creates fears
And so the heart races
The mind creates anxiety
And so the heart beats faster
The mind creates anger
And so the heart turns cold
The mind creates depression
And so the heart breaks
The mind creates a stranger
And so the heart wants to stop

The sun goes down, and then my body falls
The sky is dark with no light, and my head repeats
The clouds become heavy, and then so does my heart
The wind gets stronger, and then my nightmares want to race
The thunder is loud, and so my screams follow
The lightning strikes, now my veins are shot
Darkness is where i stay
And then im being dragged down to the ground
My weakness is approaching;
I have no more strength
My power has been ****** out of me and now im tired
My energy is drained;
My body is frozen once again
The only strength i have is a voice,
But noone can hear my screams
Im used to all the *******
People talk
People judge
Talking spreads
Judging hurts
Inside i laugh
Inside i hide
Im silent
Im cautious
And if im seen with water on my eyes
will i trick them into thinking its not my tears
And if i look in the mirror outside the storm, am i tricking myself too?
I cannot see anymore
What is real
What is fake
What is right
And what is a mistake
Once a storm, always a storm
The reflection of my mind, body, and soul;
The storm is my shadow
The sun goes down as i fall
The sky becomes dark when im depressed
The clouds become heavy when my heart is broken
The wind gets stronger as my nightmares become severe
The thunder starts as i have an outburst
Then the lightning strikes as i strike myself and so the rain pours when i cry
The storm hides my behaviour
I like the rain;
It hides all my tears

How do i hide if im being chased?
How do i hide if im being found?
How do i escape if i end up in chains?
Im so afraid
Im being threatened
And i believe it all because all this negativity wont give up
Im being pointed at
Im being laughed at
Im being bullied
Im being tortured
Im being abused
Im being used
And then i appear stupid
Because i do as im told
Who is this person trying to boss me around?
Who is this person throwing me to the ground?
Im being drained
My strength was stolen and now im so broken
In pieces i shatter;
On the floor torn apart,
The only thing in one piece is my weak heart
Now the heart bleeds
Im crying with blood
Im drowning in a puddle
Im drowning my fears
These new moods
These new emotions
Were made for me to change
These new breathing patterns
These new cuts
Were made to show that im crazy
My head is being squeezed from my own hands
Because i know whos behind it all
I am a victim of my own mind

My strength has left me
Now the weakness is destroying me
I wish i can turn back time
Now im struggling
Im not strong enough to fight
If i do,
I know ill die
As i walk, i fall
As i speak, i mumble
As i see, its blurry
As i listen, its too silent
As i breathe, i choke
As i hold on, i slip
Everything escapes me
The mirror shatters me
My shadow leaves me
My mind is the only strong one
Its what makes me weak
Its what makes me fail
I cant even carry air
Im so drained
I have nothing left
All my energy was wasted on *******
And now my mind carries me
It drags me
Im unable to break free from these chains

My face is like a porcelain doll
White;
Delicate;
But broken,
I cannot move
I cannot speak
I cannot see
I cannot breathe
My body is dead
My heart is cold
My mind is frozen
My bones are brittle
Everything is frozen
Im in a bubble that wont burst
And i cant even yell for help
My vocal cords snapped
My lungs have gotten weak
I need oxygen
I cannot breathe
My soul is torn,
My spirit has disappeared
How do i move
I cant
Not on my own;
Not without anyone
Im dead waiting to become alive again
Wake me up from this nightmare
I just want to be back to normal
I have forgotten who i was
I have forgotten everything
Undo this pain
Undo this life
Save me from myself
My mind is taking control
Save me from myself
My mind knows how to win
Save me from myself
I need to be alive again
Im frozen
Im confused
My body is in pain
My body was used
My bones are breaking
My skin is stripping
My veins are snapping
And im losing control all over again
Open my mouth
I need air
Just breathe in me
So i can function once again
Im so unfocused
Bring me back

Something is piercing me
Something is stripping me
My skin is learning to stretch
My bones are moving
My veins are snapping
And i dont know whats happening
My body cant take the sudden change
Is this real or is this a game
What is my body trying to do
My mind is taking over once again
Im feeling my blood boiling
It wants to move
And i dont know what this means
I don't know what to do
As i try to see i go blind
As i try to hear i go deaf
As a try to breathe i choke
As a try to speak i go mute
So how can i explain the pain
Theres only one way
What is a paintbrush and how does it work
What is a picture and how do i draw
Why cant i speak
Why cant i give my story
So now these tears i cry
Now its really hard to explain
And as i try,
My blood boils
As i try to speak,
My veins pull me down
My body is telling me not to speak
My mind is in control now
I close my eyes
And i see the memories
I close my eyes and i paint them with tears inside
But i cannot speak,
I cannot breathe
My hands are mobile
My body is able to move
Now i squeeze my brain,
I squeeze my body
Now i squeeze my skin
I squeeze my heart
Now i pierce my skin
I pierce my soul
The red liquid forced itself out of me
My body is drained
My body is weak
I paint to explain the pain

When the lights go out
When my fears come closer
When i feel like im choking
When i feel my skin shiver
When i need oxygen to breathe
When im intoxicated with liquid
When i need the drug to function
When i draw blood from my skin
When i cry
When i yell
When im quiet
When im loud
When i panic
When im scared
When i hallucinate
Is when noone is there
When i have anxiety
When i hyperventilate
When i become violent
When im filled with hate
When i see negativity
When i hear the lies
When i feel the cold
When im hurt inside
When im out of control
When i cant find the strength
When its just too much to handle
Is when everything goes blank
Goodbye to the freedom
Hello to my new chains
Goodbye to the happiness
Hello to my tears that rain
Goodbye to the light
Hello to the dark
Goodbye the bright colours
That were in my heart

Away forever
Forever a disappearance
Im still looking for you
Are you hiding
Im still running for you
Is it hide and seek
Trying to unto the pain of sorrow
I dont think im ever going to accept what shouldnt have happened
It doesnt feel real
I wish it wasnt real
Are you still here?
Im vulnerable;
My mind is telling me your still here
Like you were here yesterday, today, and will be tomorrow;
Im only lying to myself
But thats what it feels like
Looking at a picture,
With your face thats inside.
I feel like im face to face with you
Just talking like it was before
I reach out and touch you
I reach out and kiss you
I reach out and hug you
But the paper is gently put back
And then you stare with the eyes you once had
The family you once had
Were here but your there
If i cut you out of the frame,
Will you come back
I thought God was powerful
But he doesnt use me
Your alive
Only in my heart
Only in my dreams
I wanna close my eyes forever

Inside my mind,
Im fighting my fears
And im trying to ignore all the negativity
Inside my mind,
Im lost & confused
And im trying to myself again
Inside my mind,
Im struggling to breathe
And i cannot control my anxiety
Inside my mind,
Im finding every mood difficult
And i cannot keep it in anymore
Unable to express myself
Im quiet inside my head
And my whole image is buried within me
I lock myself in
I throw the keys out
And then i knock on my body to see if i can come out
And then im silent
I dont move
I dont move
And then im stuck
The feeling of a zipper is going through my body as i try to climb out
My body is caught inside
Now im trapped
What do i do now
Im screaming and noone hears me
Im struggling and noone sees me
I will have to drown myself to get air
I drown myself in tears to explain my anger
On floor i fall
And on the floor i tear
Tears of a broken soul
Tears of a bruised heart
Tears of a strong mind that bursted into water
As a tear falls,
It turns into a picture
An explanation is finally forced out through the mouth
Questions asked
Questions answered
Just look down
I cried to draw pictures
I cried to finally come out
Now save me from drowning

I lived with weakness
I lived with fear
I lived with anxiety
I wanted it all to disappear
I lived angry
I lived depressed
I lived violent
My head was always a mess
I lived with nightmares
I lived with evil
I lived with darkness
I couldnt talk to people
I lived tortured
I lived scared
I lived negative
I lived intoxicating
I lived bruising
I lived bleeding
I chose to abuse me
I lived fighting
I lived crying
I lived screaming
Felt like i was dying
I already sat and drank
I already lay down to cry
I already ran and screamed
I already heard and saw all the lies
I already fought evil
I already played with my fears
I already battled my nightmares
But then i had to face the mirror
I already struggled to breathe
I already felt all the moods squeezing my body
I already made myself bleed
And all the memories are still with me
I went through it all
I felt it all
I witnessed it all
And now i numbed it all
I got comfortable with the pain

Im feeling pounding
Im feeling tension
Im feeling strangulation of my brain
Im feeling dizziness
Im feeling sore
Im feeling chains wrapped around my soul
Im feeling pressured
Im feeling used
Im feeling nightmares all over my dreams
Im feeling angry
Im feeling depressed
Im feeling my moods are being created in my head
Im feeling that i cannot breathe
Im feeling that i cannot speak
Im feeling my body is breaking down
Im feeling cut
Im feeling bruised
Im feeling my skin is ripping through my clothes
Im feeling drained
Im feeling mistreated
Im feeling nothing else but the repetitive pain thats being played from my mind over and over again

What is happening
Because i stopped
Im watching everyone; everything move
But im very still
My heart is cold
My mind has flooded
My blood has stopped pumping
I stopped breathing
My body is going to break to pieces once the ice melts on my bones
I have forgotten who i am
But i see a darkness coming my way
Am i being dragged back to who i once was
I am not prepared
But im unable to talk;
Unable to breathe;
Unable to see
But I can only see whats going to happen
How do i save myself
My tears arent melting myself
They make it worse by freezing over
I want to get out
Im suffocating inside myself
I wanna move but im being held down somehow
I wanna refresh my memory,
But i cannot remember
How do i know what is happening
From now on im being lied to
My mind is beginning to confuse me all over again
What is a blade and how does it work
What is alcohol and will it quench my thirst
What is this red liquid inside my body and does it come out
What is this air in my lungs and will it stay inside my mouth
What is warmth and is it the fire thats burning me inside all over again

I tried to cover my wounds because i used a weapon towards myself
But i kept bleeding
I tried to fix myself because i was broken
But i couldnt attach myself
I broke even more
And then i shattered
Then i tried to find my pieces
But they all got blown away
Ive searched for myself
But my pieces were gone
I kept bleeding
And then i had dizziness
But the pain all went away
Unattached; but attached to the pain i give myself
Im shattered;
But i rather not find myself
When i do, im fighting an enemy from years ago
The puddles that i bleed allowed me to faint inside my nightmares
When there was no more pain
I wanted to feel pain again;
To feel the piercing once again
The blades against my breathing allow relaxation into my body once again
I only breathe when i hyperventilate
And thats how i learned to breathe once again
I chase my fears
I manipulate my fears
I run from my fears
But then i give into my fears
My mind chases me
My mind manipulates me
My mind finds me
Because ive slowed down
My heart creeps what it fears
My mind captures what it wants
I wanted both
And now im addicted
I wanna fight again
To feel the pain once again
Unleashing my conscience once again
My mind tricked me once again
Its a crave for fear;
A crave for darkness
The light blinded me because im tamed
I wanna fight my fears once again
I wanna fight without no help
I wanna get off the life support im inhaling into my body
I wanna face myself one more time
& see myself win against myself
Will i be strong
Will i become weak
I want to breathe in poison and fight it one more time
And now i wanna completely empty
With the drug forgetting me
Am i going to struggle
Am i going to hurt myself once again

To feel, but not to see
To be blind, means not knowing who you are
The mirror that showed,
But now it hides.
And now i run
And now im the one who hides
I look at my body, mind and soul.
But without a reflection,
I cannot see who i really am
And so i hide;
Day by day.
The fears inside of me increase as i walk towards myself
It knows im trying to run
Across from myself i choke;
Across from myself i cannot breathe;
Across from myself i find out who and what i really am
When i look through,
I want to smash it
And then when i walk away,
Im stabbing myself in the back
So then i bleed as the mirror breaks
Piece by piece;
Im cutting myself with the glass thats reflects my mind, body, and soul
My vocal cords snap as i try to speak to myself
And when im silent, the mirror reveals the truth that i dont wanna hear
And so i move;
It controls my every step
And so i speak;
It controls my every word
And when i look;
It controls what i dont wanna see
It doesnt lie
It doesnt break
But it breaks when i want to look and scream
When i scream it shatters
& then i shatter within my reflection
My reflection reveals
Revealing the past present and future
I can no longer hide
It finds me
And even though it doesnt move;
It moves me through the invisible chains that drag me

The thoughts that got created
The thoughts that craved ******
The thoughts that used the mind
The thoughts that finally hurt her
Negative creativity,
From inside the mind
The craving to hurt
I was taken advantage of,
And it was from deep inside
Bruising thoughts, i knew it was going to happen
Wounded heart, i poked through my own soul
Bleeding skin, i pierced through my own body
Painful shadow, my colours disappeared and replaced with the darkness
& when my mind put pressure on me, i became weak;
So i broke my own body
I was scared,
So i shut off the lights to anxiety
I was hyperventilating,
So i choked myself so i couldnt breathe
I was depressed,
So i drowned myself in my own tears
I stopped talking to everyone,
So i made myself alone
I began to drink,
So i drank myself to sleep
My thoughts of harm,
So i sinned and killed myself
My time of punishment is forever;
With pain of memories & suffering
My time of punishment is forever;
With the drug thats finally taming me

When i was deaf, i heard the lies
When i was mute, i screamed and noone heard
When i was blind, i saw what i shouldnt have seen
When i was numb, i felt all the pain
When i couldnt breathe, i took in poison
When i couldnt walk, i was running towards fear
When i couldnt sleep, my life was a nightmare
When i wasnt happy, my enjoyment was danger
When i pushed people away, i allowed evil to replace their spots
When i was alone, the devil was my company
When i was sober, i drank myself to sleep
When i was anxious, my worries continued
When my moods were out of control, the mirror was my enemy
When i was able to hear, i believed everything
When i was able to talk, everyone bad-mouthed me
When my eyes were opened, everyone disappeared
When i gained feeling, i got used to the pain
When i was able to breathe, i needed to find air
When i was able to walk, the path had been broken
When i was able to sleep, i couldnt make a dream
When i was relaxed, the knife showed me how
When the people i pushed away came back, i was being ignored
When i had company, the devil wouldnt leave
When i stopped drinking, my memories had faded
When i was finally stable,
The mirror shattered
And my mind got bored & started again

When i tried to walk, i fell
When i tried to breathe, i choked
When i tried to speak, i was strangled
When i tried to hear, my ears rang
When i tried to see, my vision went blurry
When i tried to move, i chipped a piece of my body
Stored as an object,
I used myself for punishment
Stored as a toy,
I played with my fears
Stored as a robot,
I was controlled by my mind
Slowly i broke
Quickly i became different
Slowly i was accepting what was hidden deep inside me
Quickly i just had to escape from myself
My mind was strong
My heart was weak
My mind was manipulative
My heart was naive
I learned how to deal
But it was the dangerous way
I learned how to be calm
But it was a risk i had to take
I learned how to ignore
But in a way that noone noticed
I learned the way of evil
I learned a different way to appear
Days to weeks to months to years
Finally i had enough
It took many to convince me
It took one to finally change me
It took myself to break free
I killed the devil within me
Now i see
Now i breathe
Now i speak
Now i hear
Now i move
Now i run
Now i finally see the sun
Now im happy
Now im stable
Now im loving
Now im able
Now im free
Now i dont need help
Now i no longer abuse myself
Im one piece again

A bad influence
A crazy person
She changed and everything broke down
Mind of torture
Heart; shattered
Body; beaten
Life; she wanted to end
Who was she;
That let herself in
And the one she trusted, was the one deep within
The one she trusted
The one she met
Is the one who stabbed her in the back
I opened my heart
She tore it right out
I opened my strength
She gave me weakness
I opened my happiness
She gave me depression
I opened my calmness
She gave me anger and anxiety
I opened my dreams
She gave me nightmares
I showed my eyes
She scratched them out
I showed my ears
She plugged them up
I showed my throat
She made me hyperventilate
I showed my body
She made me become violent
I showed my skin
She gave me a knife
My eyes saw only darkness
My ears heard only lies
My throat was always strangled
My body was never fine
The darkness lead to fear
The lies lead to being gullible
The strangulation kept me silent
My broken body was enabled
What do you do when your friend turns on you
And what if your friend was your mind
And that noone knew

It wants to move
But the mind wants it to freeze
It wants to talk
But the mind wants to be mute
It wants to hear
But the mind wants to ignore
It wants to see
But the mind wants to be blind
It wants happiness
But the mind wants depression
It wants to escape
But the mind makes it a prisoner
It wants to run
But the mind wants to make it stop
It wants strength
But the mind creates weakness
It wants change
But the mind wants to stay the same
It wants freedom
But the mind wont let it escape
It wants to yell for help
But the mind blocks the sound
It wants to reach out
But the mind creates a cage
It wants to open the door
But the mind puts on a lock
It wants to forget
But the mind brings back torture
It wants to remember
But the mind erases the positive
It wants to close the wounds
But the mind forces them to stay open
I want it all to stop once and for all
But my mind is not letting go
I want peace
But the mind wants me fight
And so i continue the fight
Because I havent won yet

I close my eyes and see the past
Im taken away into the pain once again
It strikes me one more time
So my fears have returned and unlocked my door
Undoing my progress,
Its ruining my strength
Undoing my happiness,
Its ruining my moods
Undoing my past,
Its bringing me back
Walking then suddenly stopped,
Its blocking my path to move
Now it created a maze for me figure out and get hurt
Running then suddenly pushed,
On the floor now i cannot move
Forced to stay down in chains;
Now the mind is ready to work
A movie in front of me is placed
For me to cry through it all
Now its a never ending story,
Now im watching myself fail
Its pushing me to where i started
To remember and repeat my mistakes
Its pushing me to when i was weak
Now my strength is remembering where it died
Its pushing me to when i didnt listen
Now im ignoring my heart again
Its pushing me to when i was drug-free
To when my mind was always in control
Its pushing me to repeat
For my body to give in one more time
The maze is over but everything looks the same
Now im back where i started;
Im in the dark once again

Its slow but will be fast
Im beginning to feel weak inside myself
I feel like im tearing apart
And so the blades have appeared inside my life once again
Undoing my strength,
I have no more courage
Im so afraid to step ahead,
When im being forced to stay behind
Memories fade,
But the ones that stay, hurts
Im being tortured
And im bleeding until i faint
Fears haunt,
But the ones that really hurt;
Make me cry until i drown
Moods have grown
But the ones that ruin me,
Are the ones that are dangerous to me and everyone else
My breathing is changing on me
And when i hyperventilate;
It continues till i fall to the ground
Piece by piece im failing
One piece at a time
Piece by piece im disappearing
Each piece is my body and mind
Its stripping me
Its tormenting me
Is this ever going to end
Its scaring me
Its hurting me
Each piece is going to bend
One piece at a time,
Each time is a negative outcome
One piece at a time,
Each time its coming off of me
Im slowly disappearing
These pieces from my body are tearing easily
And im in no control
Im slowly vanishing
These pieces one at a time;
And this time is speeding up
Soon ill be gone
Soon ill be forgotten
One piece to scream
One piece to cry
One piece to have anger
One piece to hyperventilate
One piece is my eye;
I cannot see
One piece is my nose;
I cannot breathe
One piece is my mouth;
I cannot speak
One piece is my ears;
I cannot hear
2 pieces of my arms;
I cannot reach
2 pieces of my legs;
I cannot run away
3 pieces of my mind, body, and soul
Now my pieces are scattered on the floor
Like an impossible puzzle,
I cannot put myself back together again

The feeling of being unfilled;
A big piece has stolen from me
The feeling of being light- headed;
The air inside me has escaped
The feeling of being mute;
My vocal cords had been cut
The feeling of my heart torn;
It was ripped out of my chest
The feeling of my blood disappearing;
My scars made it all escape
The dreams in which i was happy;
It all ended when the bubble they were in,
Was popped
The air in which i was moving through,
Had been poisoned
And the ground that i was walking on,
Had suddenly cracked
The loved ones that stayed,
Had been taken and now appear for only a certain amount of time
Or i had to say goodbye forever
The beautiful skin was scarred
My mistakes now haunt me for life
The normal life was twisted
And now im ruined for good
Ripped from my head,
Im crazy
Ripped from my heart,
Im crying
Ripped from my hands,
Im weak
Ripped from my skin,
Im bleeding
Ripped from my eyes,
Im blind
Ripped from my nose,
Im unable to breathe
Ripped from my mouth,
Im unable to speak
Ripped from my ears,
Im deaf
Torn from my throat,
Im choking
Torn from my hair,
My head is pounding
Torn from my chest,
Im burning
Torn from my stomach,
Im vomiting
Stolen from my mind,
Im medicated
Stolen from my body,
Im in a brace
Stolen from my soul,a
I disappeared
Taken
Ripped
Torn
Stolen
What am i left with

When your close with someone
When you love someone
And then they leave you forever
You end up far from them
The feeling of emptiness,
The everything that i had,
Has been taken away from me
Undoing my past
Opening my wounds
Redoing the past
Repeating my bruises
Operating of the heart
Then it failed,
Broken,
Torn,
Weak,
And pail
There was a door,
That should have been locked
But then the door was forced open,
And now your gone
Everywhere i turn,
And everything i do,
It only reminds me of you
But its not the same
Nothing is never the same
Nothing will ever be the same
The love i had was strong
And the pain is making it stronger
Inside my body, my heart is still scarred
But inside my heart you will be forever held
And even the the other half is missing,
I know its with you
Everything you ever owned
Everything you ever touched
Everyone you ever loved
Everything thats around
Your so close
Everytime my heart calls
Everytime my mind thinks
Everytime my eyes cry
Everytime im still wondering where you are
Your so far

Why do i need to search for my strength
Finding my weakness just hurts too much
And i cannot tolerate the pain anymore
I just recently learned who i really am
And who i was
But when im injected,
Its just all fake
Picking through my body,
Picking through my veins,
Picking through my mind,
So i wont go one more time insane
It fills my heart will love
It fills my fears with no worries
It fills my anxiety with no fear
It fills my moods with stability
Is this real
Is this fake
Do i believe
Or did i make a mistake
My body is fighting
Im getting used to the drug
My body is sick & tired
Can i just stay off?
When my tears pour out,
I dont know what to do
Im so confused with life
Is this me
Or is this untrue
Running on fakeness
I wish i could give myself this relief
Running on chemicals
I wish this wasnt me
This is so fake
This isnt me
But if i stop now,
Ill go back the way i used to be
Why couldnt i handle my weaknesses on my own
Why couldnt i make all my fears go
Im hopeless
Im useless
I just cannot give myself life support
If i stop now, im so deadly to myself and other people
If i take it all away now,
My good will turn to evil all over again
My body craves for the fake happiness thats being swallowed and pushed down inside me
This isnt me
I didnt do this on my own
This is so fake
But i need to shut up and swallow what changes me

On the floor i lay,
The broken pieces are torn from myself
Where do i stand?
I cant
Where do i walk?
I cant
Where do i sit?
I cant
Broken
Bleeding
Undone
Unstable
I allow myself to fall
And my mind allows me to fail
Unstrong; i fight
But my strength is giving out
Giving up; i fail
And my weakness wins once again
This is forever pain
Pain is forever
& im so fragile,
Because i have no more stability
I cannot hold myself anymore
And to hold myself,
I need to accept a frame
To hold me in place
To bring my body together once again
For peace in my mind
I need & want to break free
To make myself steady
To inject myself with chemical
To turn myself inside out
My body is bruised
My body is stripped
My body is scarred
My body is cut
Ive been forced to be inside a piece of wood
Glued and tied to by body
Pressed against my brain,
It is monitoring me now
Cannot move
But i move without hurting
Cannot talk
But i talk calmly
And if this frame breaks,
Then i break
I cannot live on my own
Together but apart;
Apart i cannot do it on my own
Together with help;
Apart i cannot do this on my own
Im inside a cage
Forever i will be chained
Its only for life.
Im inside a frame,
So my body is together
Im inside a frame,
My mind is all together
And once this frame falls
I know i will fall and break in pieces
I am so used to being held up with something else's strength
A guard that wont let me down
If it leaves, i leave
Im addicted to this chemical support
Im framed outside my body
I will not be stable on my own
The frame that holds me teaches
But i will never learn to breathe on my own,
If i let myself go once again

When the darkness takes over the soul
Its a struggle to fight back
Then the bitterness approaches
And then i had to attack
My fears
My thoughts
My anger
My tears
The rage within me
The pain within me
I cannot stop now
Overpowering the spirit
The light inside me has closed
Controlling of the mind
Then the darkness opens a door
Crooked heart
Crooked soul
My shadow wants to escape
Crooked mind
Crooked personality
My soul is buried away
Twisted weakness
A strength with only a force
Evil lies inside a spell
Making my blood pour
Releasing tension,
My body is just broken
Releasing anger,
My screams has spoken
Releasing violence,
My strength has taken over me
Releasing tears,
My heart is bleeding
Difficult to function
And when i try, i make mistakes
Difficult to be calm
And when i try, i end up screaming
Difficult to talk to everyone
And when i try, i burn with anger
Difficult to be stable
And when i try, my moods keep changing
Difficult to be still
And when i try, i end up hurting
Difficult to change
And when i try, im start all over again

Overworked and stressed
Your body wanted to collapse
But then you fought your weakness
Your strength suddenly came back
You made the sad happy
You made the angry calm
You made the quiet loud
Tired
Frustrated
Stressed
But always had a smile on your face
Hiding from the pain
You pretended everything was ok
And that everything would be ok
But everything was not ok
And this was not ok
Finding the strength to pull through;
That was year 1
And then it overpowered
Another year,
Stronger
Another year,
Becoming weaker
Time was running out
Loved you too much to say goodbye
Loved you too much to be forced to cry
Loved you too much to see the worst
Loved you too much to see you permanently hurt
Rain of tears
Rain of sorrow
Never will this undo
Never will i forget tomorrow
Its over
Its done
But the pain is gone
Its over
Its done
Your suffering has ended
But our pain has begun

The sadness inside has grown
The sadness inside developed a habit
And im still broken
The tears that keep falling,
Developed an ocean & so ive drowned;
Thinking about one thing
Everything will always continue to be black;
& the colours of my spirit have faded away
The silence of my voice is the only loudness thats being heard
Im deaf being quiet
Im mute from screaming
Im drowning from crying
I walked on black ice,
And fell many times
I tried to swim in water,
And i continue to drown
I tried to be strong,
But in the end i was weak
My head was so empy,
But full of sadness
My heart was empty,
But full of pain
My mind was empty,
But full of negativity
My spirits were empty,
But full of emotions
My eyes were empty,
But full of tears
The colour that represents this pain is dark
No shadows
No light
Just dark and black
And this is the depression in the end of this tragedy
This is my sorrow

So innocent
So kind hearted
So giving
So loving
The miracles were like magic
And it was like he was a magician
And so he made it all happen..
Cured
Healed
Raised
Stilled
Opened
Loosened
Restored
Fed­
Cleansed
But they didn't like him
But they didn't believe him
But they didn't respect him
They were the definition of Evil
His wrists were trapped
And so he was arrested
Pulled
Pushed
Forced
His body was naked until they clothed him with nothing but a piece of cloth
Embarrassed
But so focused what the next steps
were about to happen
And then he started to feel the pain
Pointy
Circled
A crown on his head
Not just placed;
But pushed into his tender skin above his angelic face
And then he started to bleed
The pain wasn't over
Whips forced to touch his skin
His back covered with blood
And then he became weak
His weakness was trying to fight back his strength
And then this heavy piece of wood
Bigger then him
Thrown on his shoulder
And then he was forced to walk
Thrown to the ground
Thrown on top of a big letter T that was called a cross
The spikes suddenly pierced him
His hands
His feet
His beautiful skin was torn
The holes forced out red liquid that could never go back into his body
It was done
The pain wouldn't end
And then he was taller then everyone
In the air;
Suddenly he was pierced one last time
A sharp spear was forced through the side of his delicate skin
His body;
Ripped to pieces
And then he bowed his head
And then he closed his eyes
And then his last breath was made
And then his heart pumped one last time
And then he left
His soul was taken
His body was taken
Heavy hearts knew he wasn't coming back
And then it was so bright
They couldn't believe their eyes
Risen
He appeared
An angel had been created
Through eyes
Through ears
Through nose
Through mouth
Through heart
Through body
Through mind
The only person who can save your soul
The only person who will forgive your sins
The only person who has the power
The only person who can set you free

This day was too quick
Too quick for my tears to finish
"Lets go see your mother,"
He said to me
I wasnt stupid
Pretended i was fine, my quiet voice responded "ok"
I knew this was the last day
I knew this was the last night
My heart beating,
I was afraid.
My blood boiling,
I was nervous.
Alive, there she was
But so broken
So fragile
So fair
And then i saw her weakness
There was so little time
A blank page i had to write,
There were no words to express the feeling within me
I kissed her softly
She who was only able to see
She who had limited amounts of breathing
She who was unable to speak
My voice entered her
What do you say to a dying heart?
What do you say to a damaged soul?
What do you do when you have to ****** strength or miracle to give?
I just wanted to feel her pain
Because my pain was too little
Her suffering forced our eyes to stay open;
Wishing God would change his plan
Doctor arrived;
So what does this mean?
And then suddenly everyone but me was in another room
I just forced myself in
And the news that i got shocked me
And the news that i got tortured me
And the news that i got already killed me to be partnered with her soul
But i needed to be prepared to be strong;
Especially for my poor sisters
There was no time for tears
Time was running out
I stayed by her side
Forced to watch her suffer with pain;
It hurt so bad when she was trying to explain just one word
Breathing;
She wasnt breathing normally
I couldnt take it anymore
I knew what was going to happen
But i didnt know when
Stupid me,
I had ran out the door;
Screaming
Crying
Becoming crazy
I just wanted to be alone
Stupid me,
I missed her last goodbye
Her last breath was watched by others and not me
I missed my beautiful angel's breath leave her body
I didnt ****** stay by her side
The time should have been frozen
And i regret it all !
And then those hurtful words from nonno into the telephone;
Telling loved ones,
"Shes GONE"

A loud force of anger
Awakens a tortured soul
The tension inside the mind pushes the voice to release a huge sound
And then it all comes out with aggression
Fighting to push it all away
The fears from a nightmare wake a scared heart
The mind is the one who creates these dark images
I've had it;
Im done.
Maybe my screams will push it all away
Maybe my screams will allow my strength to stay
When i need to let everything out
When i need to control the darkness
When i need to run away
But then i realize this isnt working
My lungs are broken
My diaphragm is numb
My vocal cords are tired
My voice is repeating itself over and over
My ribs are shattered
My chest is burning
My throat is swollen
My lips are cracking
Louder and louder
It just hurts to scream
Louder and louder
And noone can hear me
Panicking
Hyperventilating
Racing heart
Racing mind
Fear
Losing control
My moods are wild
And confused about life
Scream to cry
Scream with anger
Scream to fall
Scream forever

Now its that time to grieve
And be in shock until were settled
Now its that time to cry
Because you left us and we had to say goodbye
Now its that time to be angry
And ask God why she had to leave
Now its that time to be broken
Half the heart is buried
And the other is alone
Now its that time
Now its that time where we can only kiss your pictures
Because your body has disappeared
Now its that time when we can only talk into the air
And hoping u can hear through the sky
Now its that time when we look what you left behind
And wished you were still here
Now its that time we struggle
Because you were always there for us
Now its that time we remember
Because the memories you made will never be forgotten
Now its that to realize
And remember the one who left us is her
But now its also that time i dont want to accept
I dont want to accept that this is forever

I want to unwind
I want to change it all
I want to make myself over
I want to un fall
Forget how i look
Forget how i sound
Forget how i move
Forget that im standing on ground
Remove my fears
Remove my attitude
Remove my negativity
And make myself new
Stop my anxiety
Stop my moods
Stop my hyperventilation
Stop everything that needs to undo
Erase what i am
Erase everything within me
Erase who i am
Erase myself completely
Paint myself new
I wanna recent copy
Paint my own picture
Of how i need myself to be

Its too much to handle
Because i cant make it stop
All the weight is crushing me
Because i cannot breathe
Im underneath it all
Its undoing my strength,
And replacing me with weakness
Im unable to change what has been started
My anger is escalating
And i am just getting exhausted
Feeling trapped,
These chains i cannot break
Im under a cage;
Im behind a wall
Inside, im breaking
Outside, im damaging
All together, im going crazy
All at once, i lost my mind
Im just so frustrated and want to hide
How do i handle such complications
The stress
The anger
The anxiety
I cannot release
Take me away from it all
I just wanna lose myself
I just wanna break this tension
And then hopefully hell will fail
Like an explosion
Im waiting to explode
The blood within me is already boiling with anger
And like a car in an accident;
Im going to finally crash

What is happening
My demons are reappearing
The darkness has chased away the light
Now im left to cry
Im in shock
My body has been struck
I lay here broken;
Im unable to move;
Unable to talk;
Unable to breathe
My hands are on my neck
The bruises are inside my body
So im choking
And im not breathing
Im testing my pulse
Will my heartbeats disappear
Because i feel like im already dead.
And inside my body,
My bones are becoming brittle
Im losing myself all over again
Why am i disappearing again
Im pulling myself to stay
I feel so alone
Inside my head its only me
And when im distracted,
Im pushing everyone away
Im still holding on,
Im still breaking free.
The pain is not over yet,
It wont even let me sleep.
Im so lost
And im helpless
Im unsure of what to do
I dont even know this feeling
I just dont know if i can make it through
Again im squeezing;
My neck is being trapped
Im losing air
Im losing feeling
And all these things im trying to fight back
Save me from myself
Myself is being bullied
Bullied; im pushed
Pushed on the floor
And terrorized
Untie me from my hands
Release me from my mind
Im struggling; im fighting
To finally save my life
Broken; bleeding on the floor
I opened my own cuts
Only myself can stitch up the mess
Only myself can free my soul
Only i can save myself
It needs to end

Broken
Damaged
Shattered
Taken
She lost herself
Depressed
Angry
Anxious
Desperate
She changed drastically
Helpless
Hopeless
Useless
Reckless
She is so not careful
Not normal
Not settled
Not all there
Not perfect
Not sane
She is so weird
Controlling
Ruining
Challenging
Stay away from her
Screaming
Crying
Breaking
Hyperventilating
Insomnia
Bleeding
­She is now a stranger
Fighting,
She lost
Losing,
Shes weak
Weak is her mind,
Her mind is me

I escaped
I broke free
I was my own enemy and fought my fears
Its a memory i dont want to remember
The bruises are inside of me
And the pain still remains
& all it takes is something small to make me turn again
Its buried,
But i accidentally dig it out
I remember
Im spacing out
I feel the pain
And so im anxious once again
That moment to remember
That moment to not breathe
That moment to try to forget
That moment to try and make it leave
Times
Places
Pictures
Things
My mind is being manipulated
Im depressed once again
My mind is being bothered
My anger is back again
My mind is being feared
Im scared once again
My mind is being played with
Im hyperventilating once again
Anything and everything
Can make the pain even worse
Anything and everything
Can release the enemy
Anything and everything
Can make me remember
Going back;
Its all making me think
I just shut my eyes and try to forget
Undo this pain once and for all
I thought it was gone forever
I guess i was wrong
And i do remember
And i dont forget
Thoughts running through my head
Memories open the door again
Im just forced to allow them back in my life
Can i just forget
How do i forget
Forget the life
That was full of regret
And then i feel like im retracing what i damaged
And what i damaged, im retracing
And what was damaged,
Is now always in a bandage.
But every so often it rips off of my mind.
Then i bleed once again

I became settled
But i feel uneasy again
I chased away my fears
But now im scared again
I became strong
But now my weakness found me
I fought my nightmares
But now my dreams are slowly escaping
I learned to breathe
But my anxiety is attacking again
I learned to see but now my eyes are slowly closing again
I learned to speak
But my mouth is being forced to close again
I learned to hear
But the sounds are slowly getting silent again
I found happiness
But depression is trying to bring me down again
My anger was controlled
But im slowly on edge again
I was stable
But my moods are changing again
I was convinced
But now im not sure
Im still not sure if i found myself quite yet
My body, mind, and soul is getting too comfortable
They have been nourished
And now its too much
Im getting used to this feeling,
That my brain wants to stop
Why are my moods not stabilizing themselves again
Why is my anxiety acting up again
Why is my breathing starting to become difficult again
I guess i didnt lock the door properly
I need to try harder
I need to work faster
I thought it was the end;
The end to that evil soul
Its slowly coming back
Im pushing myself to ignore
Its so hard to do
Im pushing myself to just snap out of it
Because my mind is playing a game again
Is this intake too weak
Am i wanting it to be strong
I cannot handle who i was
I need the person who i am now
I cannot lose control again

We can only pretend
We can only remember
We can never forget
All thats left is pictures
And its the only image of you i can see
All thats left is a movie & tapes
And its the only voice of you i can hear
All thats left are treasures
And i hold them close to me
All thats left is gifts
And i will never give away
All thats left is your table
And its where you are alive to me
All thats left is tears
And that will never stop
All thats left is memories
And memories never fade
All thats left is my voice
Because i know i cant hear you speak
All thats left is my eyes
Because i know i cant look at you see
All thats left is my ears
Because i know i cant see you listening
All thats left is the mind
And i will never stop thinking of you
All thats left is a mirror
And i see you when i stare inside
All thats left is the sky
And its the only closest way to heaven
All thats left is flowers & small things
And its the only gift i can give
All thats left is a tombstone
And its the only closeness i will ever be to you
All thats left is goodbyes
And then it starts all over again
But it always will end with tears so all thats left is memories
And it never escapes my mind

Riding inside sorrowful wheels
Our minds were so lost
Still to this day i continue to cry,
And i saw no colours but black
Because she made the colours bright
Now she doesnt drive anymore
But shes inside a car
Unable to move
Unable to speak
Unable to breathe
And we were forced to ride behind her
Blind to see the roads,
I wanted to turn back time
When is this pain going to end,
It should have never began
Alone,
Unbreathing,
Layed down to rest,
Its forever
Slowly we move,
Faster our hearts beat
Around in a circle,
I couldnt live through it
Then i made it;
But blinded;
Crying, and broken
The waving of their hands had me confused and locked up inside
Now this is the end
This is how we made her say goodbye
The hurst is what held her
Closed, and hidden inside
Arrived at the forest
With silent bodies around
Now its her turn to leave;
We had to say goodbyes above ground
She who was buried,
I felt like i was too.
Half my heart was gone
Half my heart was taken
Half my heart was shattered;
Broken
Forever gone
Half my heart was buried with her soul
So today i still cry
The black car that i see
As soon as it appears
Im unable to set myself free
The black car that i see,
It happens all the time
Everytime i see a funeral,
That day is in my mind
Like a light switch that turns on;
My anxiety turns on.
Im hyperventilating;
I cannot breathe.
The terrible memory i had to see,
This vehicle triggered a tragedy
Today i see the black car
The hurst that i hate
Today i think back when i had to witness her body escape

Crystal clear water reveals a **** silhouette
Shiny bubbles show off a beautiful body
The waves iron long silky blonde hair
The flowers rub their colours onto a gentle fair face
And the the plants secure her tiny body
The strength of her arms
Pull back the sea behind her
Shes moving
Shes swimming
Shes singing
And shes so free
And when she moves,
The waves move with her
And when she swims,
The fish swim with her
And when she sings,
The sea shells capture her voice
When the waves move,
Her hair glides along
When the fish swim,
Her fins ride along
When the sea shells steal her voice,
Her heart is so alive
But another side into her life;
The sadness in her eyes;
When she cries noone can see
Because the water hides her tears
Creatures will never know her story
Singing to hide the pain
Noone understood her pain
Alone everyday;
So then exploring makes her thoughts go away
Fears of ships
Fears of boats
Fears of people
Fears of dying
She doesnt want to be found
Her hopes and dreams can never be broken
Hoping to survive,
Dreaming to love
Love another one;
Another half human with fins
And she continues;
Moving
Swimming
Singing
Her journeys continue
Her fears are strong
But her hopes are stronger

Under the sea
On top of the sand
Between the waves
The king's daughter
Ruby red;
Her hair long and wavy
Amethyst purple;
Her chest is protected with plastic sea shells
Emerald green;
Her fins are strong
Shes wild
Shes free
Shes fun
Shes full of energy
Shes determined
She moves
She sings
She escapes when shes supposed to stay
And then a prince;
Takes her breath away
Wanting to take his hand,
She kills him with the eyes of crystals
Unexplainable love writes itself a book
Her heart is pounding
His heart is melting
The wind forces their bodies to reveal themselves to eachother
The waves move her into his space
At last they meet
She has no fear
The king is ignored
Love come first
He comes first
Noone else had the strength to take her heart
The anger in his voice
The power from his trident
The king had so much rage
And she tried to fight it
A wicked silhouette;
Willing to help a helpless mermaid
A transformation was forced
An evil fish was at her attention
And the human appeared
Her fins were locked up
Her voice was taken away
And the only way to love,
Was to finally walk
No recognition,
The prince didnt know
Her strength was taken
Her voice was taken
Her fins,
Disappeared
She only wanted to walk
But also wanted to talk
And she had to make a trade
Into a shell,
Her voice was stolen
That wicked fish used it to steal another thing
His love moved on
His love grew strong
Wrong body
Wrong soul
Wrong heart
Poor ariel
The tears made a new ocean
With all her breath;
Now shes swimming to a ceremony that should have been hers
He was ready
Into pieces,
The shell had escaped from an evil soul
Into her body,
The voice was back into the mermaid's soul
Into his eyes,
He saw what beauty was
The love grew
It grew upon everyone
In the end the prince was accepted
The king had bowed his head
The evil was gone
The magic, finally dead
Fins again
Voice again
Alive again
In love once again

Spinning in circles
And i dont know why
Im so weak from it all
I just want to hide
How do i still myself
How do i make it stop
Im slowly falling
Because im tripping
I cannot break this
This is a natural feeling
A confusing feeling
A weakness feeling
Im naturally drunk
And im going to fall
I cannot squeeze
I cannot use force
Im dropping fast
Im falling to the floor
The breath of fear
The anxiety of truth
The anger of life
The hopes have disappeared
Im spinning fast
I might as well let go
Im holding on to nothing
So now im going to fall
The room is turning
My eyes are trembling
My body is shaking
My mind is unsettling
My strength couldnt hold on anymore
It was time for it to go
A weakness has been brought to me
Now i need to be in control
How do i start
If im already finished
Im still trying to slow down
My mind is rushing
My heart is racing
My body just wants to be still
Undo this feeling
Undo this pain
Over and over
Im feeling it again
The feeling of circles
The need to stop
The feeling of torture
The need to be calm
The feeling of confusion
The need to be found

Pushed into struggling
Im not ready
Blood is boiling
Im feverish
Nerves are shaking
Im sweating
Struggling;
Im failing
My blood is escaping
My nerves are snapping
My body is getting shocked
Struggling
And failing
My blood is leading to a head rush
My nerves have been broken
My body is struck
I have failed
My blood is in puddles
My nerves have had enough
My body is heated
Im hyperventilating
Its too much
Too much to think
Too much to do
Too much to say
Im getting anxiety
My heart is pounding hard
Through my chest,
Its moving
My pulse is speeding
Im shaking
Im trembling
Unfocused,
I cannot be still
Unsettled,
Worried with fear
My face is red
My skin is blue
I feel like im being choked,
Because i cannot breathe anymore

From the world,
To the mind
Inside the brain,
My body is restrained
Undoing the strength
That was turned into weakness
Disconnected picture;
Broken soul into pieces
Heart of glass;
Now has shattered
Mind of stone;
Now had broken
Body of a tomb;
Now had been open
Soul of an angel;
My wings had disappeared
Goodbye to the future
Hello to the past
Confused for the present
Nothing is going to last
Rewinding over and over again
Because im all broken
Forwarding precious times
My memory escaped me
Undo my kindness
Im injected with bitterness
Undo my thoughts
Im injected with black images
Break away,
Flew away,
Stayed away forever
Wings are gone,
Im no longer one.
My body is cut up in pieces
Still broken
Still blown away
My soul is shattered to pieces
Always broken
Wont return
My mind is chipped to pieces
Into the mind,
No more world
No longer together as one
Away forever,
Forever gone.
I am so undone
Disconnected body
Disconnected soul
Disturbed mind
Im forgetting who i am
Disconnected body
Disconnected soul
Disturbed mind
Im being pulled away from it all

Im struggling to talk
Its making me silent
Im struggling to breathe
Its making me hyperventilate
Im struggling to swallow
Its making me choke
Im struggling to see
Its making me blind
Im struggling to listen
Its making me deaf
Im struggling to run
Its making me walk
Im struggling to jump
Its making me stop
Im struggling to move
Its making me freeze
Im struggling to remember
Its erasing my memories
Im struggling to think
Its making me un smart
Im struggling to be happy
Its making me depressed
Im struggling to laugh
Its making me cry
Im struggling to be calm
Its making me angry
I wanna move
I wanna talk
I wanna see
I wanna breathe
I cannot move
I cannot talk
I cannot see
I cannot breathe
Im pushing,
But its pulling
Im pulling,
But its pushing
Im fighting,
And its fighting back
Im struggling,
And its winning
I wanna be free
I wanna go forward
My freedom is punished
And to go forward is forbidden

My body was created and then torn apart
Like a puzzle that was noone was able to put me back together
Through my skin,
I bled myself to hyperventilation
Through my body,
I drank myself to sleep
Through my soul,
I cried myself to dream
My head was left
My heart was always right
My arms were heavy
My legs were light
My eyes were always burned
My nose was plugged
My mouth was always stretched
My ears were always clogged
My pupils had been scratched
My nasal cavity had been pushed on
My vocal cords had been cut
My ears had been popped
My fingers and toes had been hit
My hair hasnt been strong
My face had been squeezed
My body had been numb
My body had been torn apart since it got created
Noone was able to put me back together with the pieces of my puzzle
When i was bleeding,
I wanted to bleed some more
When i was drinking,
I drank myself out the door
When i was crying,
I cried myself; and wanted to be blind
I couldnt breathe;
Ill never breathe
Im the air is gone,
Because im snapped
Broken in pieces
Torn apart
There is no more air for me to breathe;
For me to be one again