I lived with weakness
I lived with fear
I lived with anxiety
I wanted it all to disappear
I lived angry
I lived depressed
I lived violent
My head was always a mess
I lived with nightmares
I lived with evil
I lived with darkness
I couldnt talk to people
I lived tortured
I lived scared
I lived negative
I lived intoxicating
I lived bruising
I lived bleeding
I chose to abuse me
I lived fighting
I lived crying
I lived screaming
Felt like i was dying
I already sat and drank
I already lay down to cry
I already ran and screamed
I already heard and saw all the lies
I already fought evil
I already played with my fears
I already battled my nightmares
But then i had to face the mirror
I already struggled to breathe
I already felt all the moods squeezing my body
I already made myself bleed
And all the memories are still with me
I went through it all
I felt it all
I witnessed it all
And now i numbed it all
I got comfortable with the pain