I try to move but i cant find the strength
I cut myself deep and now i bleed the pain out
I cant function and i dont know where to focus
Im reaching out but everything is just so far away
My body is slowly giving up
Everything is moving away
Inside myself i feel it all crack
All i ever had, is now hard to get back
I feel it all disappearing
All the damage is breaking me
My fears are all taking over me
I wanna escape the darkness
But the darkness is inside me
Im actually going nowhere..
Im slowly losing myself
Im being stretched as i try to think
And im being torn as i try to repair my pieces
My muscles are tense
And then they become knotted
My blood is thinning out
And then it escapes
My veins are shot
And then they snap
My bones are weak
And then they shatter
My heart is giving up
And then it breaks
I lost strength
I feel empty
I lost feeling
I feel the dizziness
I lost interest
I feel different
I lost my mind
I feel nothing.

I felt closed in as a tried to breathe
I couldnt walk without tripping over my own feet
In a room full of anger;
A room full of emptiness.
But in the dark i was able to see better
And because i saw in the dark,
I saw what i didnt wanna see
I heard what i didnt wanna hear
And i breathed how i didnt wanna breathe
I saw my fears
I heard the noises
I saw the flashbacks
I heard my screams
I felt my chest so tight
The darkness showed me reality
And in the light, everything was hidden
I searched for answers
Answers that i needed to find
My questions were always ignored
I couldnt help myself when i was blind
My arms tried to feel around to see if there was anything sharp to pierce the pain
And then i found my way to quiet my tears
A way that i can no longer hear my screams
I cannot see the danger
I can only feel my fears
If i try to seek the light , i know i will get burned
I stay in the darkness and i see everything
My fears
My memories
My habits
My weakness
My struggles
My emotions
The mirror, in pieces

I wasnt hungry but i starved
I wasnt thirsty but i was dehydrated
I wasnt cold but i was frozen
I wasnt hot but i burned up
I wasnt talking but i screamed
I wasnt listening but i heard
I wasnt seeing but i noticed
I wasnt moving but i was fighting myself
I wasnt breathing but i hyperventilated
I wasnt eating so i swallowed my fears
I wasnt drinking so i drank all the poison
I wasnt keeping warm so i fell in the fire
I wasnt cooling down so i broke the ice on my body
I wast keeping quiet so i zipped my mouth shut
I wasnt plugging my ears so i went deaf
I wasnt turning away so i went blind
I wasnt backing down so i bled myself to sleep
I wast controlling my breathing so i started to confuse it all
Over and over again..

A group in the middle of a word called fun
But then that word only lasted for so long..
Strangers in the darkness
Strangers that noone was able to describe
The twisted minds of the killers
That took away his life
The darkness that blinded the eyes
The silence that blinded the ears
The noises that blinded the voices
When the fun had suddenly disappeared
Up standing to not back down
But then on the ground thats where he was forced to stay
Up standing to defend again
Then again on the ground he lay
Suddenly with force, he accepted all the pain
The hours went by
Then a sudden shock zapped at their lives
Sad faces; just drowning in their tears
They had hoped that it was just a bad nightmare
The reality was real
And it also pierced everyone's hearts
So broken
So empty
No words to express what they feel
The only words they knew was that "this isnt real"
A million questions but starting with the same word
Why him?
Why did this happen?
Why would someone do this?
Why take someones life?
Why did this day come
Just why
Family so strong
Friends so strong
But the tears were stronger to blind the eyes of broken hearts
But then the truth, is that he suffers no more
The pain that was felt, had unlocked a door
The kind soul from his heart
The strong mind of his brain
The gentle touch of his hands
The memories that remain..
And then the door he had unlocked was the stairs in the clouds
A new angel, had made the others scream;
Happy & loud

The darkness closed my eyes and made me go blind
Then i saw everything i feared inside of my head
My nightmares had me scared and then my heart suddenly raced
Once the nightmares were actually true, i started to hyperventilate
I felt all my anxiety as i tried to undo the strangulation
But i didnt know whats strangling me
I didnt know whats squeezing me
The darkness is all around me
Now my fears are bothering me
My thoughts wont leave me
My thoughts want me bleeding
Im trying to save myself from unbreathing
Im feeling my heart jump as i try to calm my nerves
Im feeling my breathing stop as i open my mouth and try to scream
Im feeling my eyes pop as i try to block the static
Im feeling my skin move as i try to sew my pieces back together
Im feeling my bones break as i try to hold myself together
Im black & blue
Im cold but im numb
Im broken & shattered
Im hyperventilating but im choking
Im scared & lost
Im fighting but im struggling
Im losing & its tiring
Im giving up but i wanna break off my fears from my neck

When my bones turned brittle
When my veins turned to frost
When my skin turned pale
When my heart turned black
When my mind turned to ice
I froze over and slipped away
I slid into walls that i couldnt tear down
I slid into cages that i couldnt escape from
I slid into a doors that i couldnt unlock
I slid through paths that i got lost
I slid through fire that i got burned
I slid through glass that cut me and started to bleed
I slid through the air and then i fell with no protection
I slid through a wire that i lost all my strength when i couldnt hold on any longer
Inside my nightmare, im living in fear
Inside my mind, im drowning in tears
Inside my body, i cannot get out
Inside myself, i faded away

I never understood why i couldnt get up
I never understood why i had no strength
I was knocked down by an invisible force, waiting for me to break
And i did break
I broke into pieces
There was no sand to protect me
Just rocks & glass that pierced through me
The sun burned me and left me with darkness until I drowned
Drowned from a rain so cold;
As i constantly hit ground
Again and again i tore open my scars
I bleed with no ending
My stitches turned to dust
I was shaken so much that my head lost reality
I became abnormal and then i went into a dark world
My mind left me insane;
I felt the cold liquid again
My body all drenched with the force once again
I felt that water through me again
And then i find myself fighting..
Its so unknown when i try to think
My mind gets blanked out
Its so unknown when i try to speak
My throat chokes me
Its so unknown when i try to listen
My ears get plugged
Its so unknown when i try to see
My eyes are shut tight
Its so unknown when i try to breathe
Im drowning now