I became numb because i felt every pain
I became deaf because i heard every lie
I became blind because i saw all the darkness
I became mute because i screamed at all my fears
I couldnt breathe because i started to choke
I felt every pain because i wanted to bleed
I heard every lie because i searched for the truth
I saw the darkness because i tried to find the light
I screamed at my fears because i begged them to disappear
I choked because my hands were around my throat
I wanted to bleed so i could feel what relief was
I wanted the truth because i couldnt trust myself
I wanted the light so i woulnt be so scared
I wanted my fears to disappear because i was my own enemy
I wanted my hands to squeeze everything out of me
I bled but im still not at peace
I found the truth but i still cant trust myself
I found the light but im still scared
I got rid of my fears but im still my own enemy
My hands put an end to harm but everything is still growing inside me

The racing flashbacks that i feel,
Are allowing me to want the painful past again
I grabbed a glass that i shouldnt have filled
I grabbed the keys that i shouldnt have taken out
I grabbed a knife that i shouldnt have used
I grabbed a habit that i should have refused
I silenced my past with a cover i want to take off
I hid my secrets under a blanket i want to rip off
I erased my thoughts with the eraser attached to my heart
I broke all my habits with the fights i had to start
I emptied the glass
I threw out the keys
I took away the knife
I broke my habits
But now i cant sleep
Im sober but inside i feel drunk
Im smarter but inside im driving myself crazy
My arms are clean again but inside i still bleed
The habits are gone but inside my head i keep repeating them
Appearance can fool
A story can lie
I cannot explain whats deep down inside

My eyes are wide open as a stare at the wall
I feel so heavy inside as i try to concentrate on what i feel
The message i try to express is not sinking in my brain
I cannot control whats controlling me
Im choking in silence and i dont know how to breathe
Without no light, the darkness strangles me
I cant see whats around me
All i know is that my heart is slowly dying
My chest is tight,
My anxiety strikes again
My body is dizzy and i cannot control the air
Now i feel the need to fall forever
I continue to choke on oxygen
Nothing is working
Nothing is going to repair me
My head is throbbing from the fears that wander inside me
My bones crack as i move
My veins pop out as i try to breathe one more time
I have no words to release because each letter keeps choking me
I continue to drown in my tears;
That try to wash away all the pain deep inside me
What i say
What i do
What i hear
What i see
When i move
And how i think is when i stop breathing

Im on edge and im waiting to fall off
I went too far and now i dont know how to correct the mistakes ive made
I chose to walk in the dark,
When the light shined in my face
I ignored everyones voice when i obeyed my evil conscience
I tried different things but only one was allowed to be involved
It was the one in which i hurt
The voice inside my head forced me to bleed
I had to choke to try to breathe
I had to be blind to gain my sight back
I had to be deaf in order to hear
I had to be silent to get my voice again
And to be numb meens i couldnt move forever
Almost dead;
I had to suffer
I felt everything and anything that crossed me
My strength gave out and so did my heart
I became weak
I became brittle
My bones would bring me down to the ground
My mind is dying while my body tries to fight
The illness lives inside me
The enemy tries to control me
I couldnt sleep without nightmares
I couldnt breathe without hyperventilating
I couldnt see without my vision being blurry
I couldnt hear without my ears being plugged
I couldnt speak without my voice being mute
Numerous feelings going out of control
I couldnt release the anger without abuse
I couldnt release the tears without drowning
I couldnt release the sorrow without harm
I couldnt release the silence without pain
I sewed my wounds
I healed my thoughts
I bandaged my heart
But i covered my scars
I thought it was over but my blood kept eacaping
I went through a storm
I got shaken
I got tortured
I got beaten on the floor
Now to learn means gaining the strength again
I had to die to come alive again

I try to speak,
But my mind shuts my mouth
When im silenced, i cannot think anymore
My thoughts are drowning when i try to erase the darkness
And when i try to turn around, the mirror reminds me of what ive become
I try to see,
But my mind closes my eyes
When im blind, i cannot see where im going
Now i walk away from it all; and my true self has gone forever
Im hidden
I try to breathe,
But my mind suffocates me
Im full of anxiety and i have to hyperventilate to know how to release the air within my weak lungs
I try to move,
But my mind breaks me
My bones are all broken from the mistakes i have made
I purposely ran through the walls; then i had to fall
I try to feel,
But my mind numbs me
All the pain was too much from the hurt i created;
Now i feel nothing
The feeling i have is all frozen inside me
I try to think,
But my mind blocks me
I cannot remember how to speak,
See,
Breathe,
Move,
Feel

Its getting harder to breathe each time the pressure rises
I tried to remove the weight thats weighing me down
But each time i try, i get more heaviness upon my chest
My lungs are getting crushed
My heart is getting squeezed
My bones are getting brittle
My skin is torn
My body is becoming weak
Im starting to break
But my mind is already broken
The air is escaping from my body;
Then i appear dizzy
I can no longer feel;
Im so numb;
Im so drowsy
I feel that im suffocating invisibly
I cannot breathe, but nothing is touching me
My words are strangling me
My thoughts are pushing down on me
My fears are the ones that are crushing me
Now my shoulders are sore,
They carried my own twisted world
My arms are *******,
I used a rope to pull myself in
My legs cannot move anymore,
I kicked myself on the ground
Now i lay underneath it all,
Im stuck below all my mistakes

I have been walking with my eyes closed for days
I was blind to see what love was about
I didnt wanna learn
I didnt wanna search
I didnt wanna feel
I didnt know how until i was knocked on the ground
I turned away from it all and blocked everything out
I only accepted myself into my life when i was down
My trust issues was for everyone except my mind
I loved my conscience who feared me all the time
I was scared to love, but i loved to be alone
I thought it was normal to be trapped; from being locked inside a room
When i turned around,
I actually turned to change
Into a stranger, i became disturbed & weak
I thought there was no light
I thought there was no escape
I was unsafe
And to be saved, i thought i couldnt be rescued from the prisoner inside my mind
It poured,
It rained
But it was from my eyes
I couldnt deal with the pain inside myself
Loneliness took over my body;
I did whatever the **** i wanted
I was lead to the darkest place
The place that i call my mind
I was scared to let anyone in,
Because i was forced to shut everyone out
And the stranger deep inside, always wanted me to hide
I was in so much danger, that i thought for sure i couldnt be saved
Something hit me
Someone broke me
The light that opened me;
The darkness that left me
My weakness turned to strength when you lifted me from the ground
My tears dried quickly when you wiped them from my eyes
You introduced me to the world because my world was inside my dark self
My negative thoughts disappeared when you whispered in my ears
I was able to breathe again when you made me catch my breath by breathing fresh air into my lungs
And then when my lips were sealed, you unglued them by making yours touch
Your body became strapped to mine;
You were a shield that my worries were forced to hide
You pushed all the darkness out of my way when i was weak
And when i couldnt sleep, you were the one that was in my dreams
When i was drowning in my tears, you helped me swim
I got dried from the air when you breathed all over my skin
My screams were silenced; from every move you made
With my anger gone, you will forever stay
I broke free when you picked up my pieces;
The broken pieces to my heart.
The pieces that were in your hands, had been pushed back in my body
You killed my dark mind
You set me free
You are the one that saved me