I hear voices,
My own voices;
Negative and positive
One voice to fail,
Once voice to succeed
But my ears fall under a spell that cannot be broken
My mind is telling me to leave
Listening to a broken soul,
Im struggling, im fighting
Who is this voice thats trying to speak
Where is this voice thats trying to see
I disappeared
And i didnt come back
Inside a cage im locked
The key is inside my mind
My heart tries to break through
But it weakens
Im trapped
Unable to escape
Pounding into my chest;
My throat is trying run
I cannot breathe,
Because the pace of my heart is choking me to fear
Now my heart bleeds,
Bleeding into a body
This is how it speaks
What is it trying to say? Im confused
Its trying to talk to me
In my ears it whispers;
"I miss you please come back"
I hear but i dont understand
Im blind but i can only see the darkness deep inside my soul
I cannot move
I cannot think
Where am i supposed to go? I ask my heart
My mind wont let me escape
The repetitive signals from the heart,
Is killing me each time it tries to speak
I cannot follow
I cannot leave
Its not easy
And my heart wants me to sneak
Im hyperventilating now
I know im going to fall
Im dizzy,
Im nautious
What is it trying to tell me
Im having bad anxiety
My hot flashes are starting
My face is red
My body is trembling
My skin is sweating
These attacks are getting worse
My tears force themselves through my eyes
Its forcing me to cry
My head is killing me
My mind is punishing me
I dont want to do this no more
I dont want to suffer no more
If i come back to myself will things be better?
If i come home to myself will it all disappear?
The heart craves what it wants
But the mind takes what it can steal
The heart screams
The mind fights back
The heart cries
The mind laughs
The heart pulls
The mind pushes
The heart blocks
The mind breaks
The heart begs
The mind ignores
The heart wants to heal
The mind continues to bleed
The mind creates darkness
And so the heart turns black
The mind creates tension
And so the heart pumps faster
The mind creates fears
And so the heart races
The mind creates anxiety
And so the heart beats faster
The mind creates anger
And so the heart turns cold
The mind creates depression
And so the heart breaks
The mind creates a stranger
And so the heart wants to stop

The sun goes down, and then my body falls
The sky is dark with no light, and my head repeats
The clouds become heavy, and then so does my heart
The wind gets stronger, and then my nightmares want to race
The thunder is loud, and so my screams follow
The lightning strikes, now my veins are shot
Darkness is where i stay
And then im being dragged down to the ground
My weakness is approaching;
I have no more strength
My power has been ****** out of me and now im tired
My energy is drained;
My body is frozen once again
The only strength i have is a voice,
But noone can hear my screams
Im used to all the *******
People talk
People judge
Talking spreads
Judging hurts
Inside i laugh
Inside i hide
Im silent
Im cautious
And if im seen with water on my eyes
will i trick them into thinking its not my tears
And if i look in the mirror outside the storm, am i tricking myself too?
I cannot see anymore
What is real
What is fake
What is right
And what is a mistake
Once a storm, always a storm
The reflection of my mind, body, and soul;
The storm is my shadow
The sun goes down as i fall
The sky becomes dark when im depressed
The clouds become heavy when my heart is broken
The wind gets stronger as my nightmares become severe
The thunder starts as i have an outburst
Then the lightning strikes as i strike myself and so the rain pours when i cry
The storm hides my behaviour
I like the rain;
It hides all my tears

How do i hide if im being chased?
How do i hide if im being found?
How do i escape if i end up in chains?
Im so afraid
Im being threatened
And i believe it all because all this negativity wont give up
Im being pointed at
Im being laughed at
Im being bullied
Im being tortured
Im being abused
Im being used
And then i appear stupid
Because i do as im told
Who is this person trying to boss me around?
Who is this person throwing me to the ground?
Im being drained
My strength was stolen and now im so broken
In pieces i shatter;
On the floor torn apart,
The only thing in one piece is my weak heart
Now the heart bleeds
Im crying with blood
Im drowning in a puddle
Im drowning my fears
These new moods
These new emotions
Were made for me to change
These new breathing patterns
These new cuts
Were made to show that im crazy
My head is being squeezed from my own hands
Because i know whos behind it all
I am a victim of my own mind

My strength has left me
Now the weakness is destroying me
I wish i can turn back time
Now im struggling
Im not strong enough to fight
If i do,
I know ill die
As i walk, i fall
As i speak, i mumble
As i see, its blurry
As i listen, its too silent
As i breathe, i choke
As i hold on, i slip
Everything escapes me
The mirror shatters me
My shadow leaves me
My mind is the only strong one
Its what makes me weak
Its what makes me fail
I cant even carry air
Im so drained
I have nothing left
All my energy was wasted on *******
And now my mind carries me
It drags me
Im unable to break free from these chains

My face is like a porcelain doll
White;
Delicate;
But broken,
I cannot move
I cannot speak
I cannot see
I cannot breathe
My body is dead
My heart is cold
My mind is frozen
My bones are brittle
Everything is frozen
Im in a bubble that wont burst
And i cant even yell for help
My vocal cords snapped
My lungs have gotten weak
I need oxygen
I cannot breathe
My soul is torn,
My spirit has disappeared
How do i move
I cant
Not on my own;
Not without anyone
Im dead waiting to become alive again
Wake me up from this nightmare
I just want to be back to normal
I have forgotten who i was
I have forgotten everything
Undo this pain
Undo this life
Save me from myself
My mind is taking control
Save me from myself
My mind knows how to win
Save me from myself
I need to be alive again
Im frozen
Im confused
My body is in pain
My body was used
My bones are breaking
My skin is stripping
My veins are snapping
And im losing control all over again
Open my mouth
I need air
Just breathe in me
So i can function once again
Im so unfocused
Bring me back

Something is piercing me
Something is stripping me
My skin is learning to stretch
My bones are moving
My veins are snapping
And i dont know whats happening
My body cant take the sudden change
Is this real or is this a game
What is my body trying to do
My mind is taking over once again
Im feeling my blood boiling
It wants to move
And i dont know what this means
I don't know what to do
As i try to see i go blind
As i try to hear i go deaf
As a try to breathe i choke
As a try to speak i go mute
So how can i explain the pain
Theres only one way
What is a paintbrush and how does it work
What is a picture and how do i draw
Why cant i speak
Why cant i give my story
So now these tears i cry
Now its really hard to explain
And as i try,
My blood boils
As i try to speak,
My veins pull me down
My body is telling me not to speak
My mind is in control now
I close my eyes
And i see the memories
I close my eyes and i paint them with tears inside
But i cannot speak,
I cannot breathe
My hands are mobile
My body is able to move
Now i squeeze my brain,
I squeeze my body
Now i squeeze my skin
I squeeze my heart
Now i pierce my skin
I pierce my soul
The red liquid forced itself out of me
My body is drained
My body is weak
I paint to explain the pain

When the lights go out
When my fears come closer
When i feel like im choking
When i feel my skin shiver
When i need oxygen to breathe
When im intoxicated with liquid
When i need the drug to function
When i draw blood from my skin
When i cry
When i yell
When im quiet
When im loud
When i panic
When im scared
When i hallucinate
Is when noone is there
When i have anxiety
When i hyperventilate
When i become violent
When im filled with hate
When i see negativity
When i hear the lies
When i feel the cold
When im hurt inside
When im out of control
When i cant find the strength
When its just too much to handle
Is when everything goes blank
Goodbye to the freedom
Hello to my new chains
Goodbye to the happiness
Hello to my tears that rain
Goodbye to the light
Hello to the dark
Goodbye the bright colours
That were in my heart