Its slow but will be fast
Im beginning to feel weak inside myself
I feel like im tearing apart
And so the blades have appeared inside my life once again
Undoing my strength,
I have no more courage
Im so afraid to step ahead,
When im being forced to stay behind
Memories fade,
But the ones that stay, hurts
Im being tortured
And im bleeding until i faint
Fears haunt,
But the ones that really hurt;
Make me cry until i drown
Moods have grown
But the ones that ruin me,
Are the ones that are dangerous to me and everyone else
My breathing is changing on me
And when i hyperventilate;
It continues till i fall to the ground
Piece by piece im failing
One piece at a time
Piece by piece im disappearing
Each piece is my body and mind
Its stripping me
Its tormenting me
Is this ever going to end
Its scaring me
Its hurting me
Each piece is going to bend
One piece at a time,
Each time is a negative outcome
One piece at a time,
Each time its coming off of me
Im slowly disappearing
These pieces from my body are tearing easily
And im in no control
Im slowly vanishing
These pieces one at a time;
And this time is speeding up
Soon ill be gone
Soon ill be forgotten
One piece to scream
One piece to cry
One piece to have anger
One piece to hyperventilate
One piece is my eye;
I cannot see
One piece is my nose;
I cannot breathe
One piece is my mouth;
I cannot speak
One piece is my ears;
I cannot hear
2 pieces of my arms;
I cannot reach
2 pieces of my legs;
I cannot run away
3 pieces of my mind, body, and soul
Now my pieces are scattered on the floor
Like an impossible puzzle,
I cannot put myself back together again

The feeling of being unfilled;
A big piece has stolen from me
The feeling of being light- headed;
The air inside me has escaped
The feeling of being mute;
My vocal cords had been cut
The feeling of my heart torn;
It was ripped out of my chest
The feeling of my blood disappearing;
My scars made it all escape
The dreams in which i was happy;
It all ended when the bubble they were in,
Was popped
The air in which i was moving through,
Had been poisoned
And the ground that i was walking on,
Had suddenly cracked
The loved ones that stayed,
Had been taken and now appear for only a certain amount of time
Or i had to say goodbye forever
The beautiful skin was scarred
My mistakes now haunt me for life
The normal life was twisted
And now im ruined for good
Ripped from my head,
Im crazy
Ripped from my heart,
Im crying
Ripped from my hands,
Im weak
Ripped from my skin,
Im bleeding
Ripped from my eyes,
Im blind
Ripped from my nose,
Im unable to breathe
Ripped from my mouth,
Im unable to speak
Ripped from my ears,
Im deaf
Torn from my throat,
Im choking
Torn from my hair,
My head is pounding
Torn from my chest,
Im burning
Torn from my stomach,
Im vomiting
Stolen from my mind,
Im medicated
Stolen from my body,
Im in a brace
Stolen from my soul,a
I disappeared
Taken
Ripped
Torn
Stolen
What am i left with

When your close with someone
When you love someone
And then they leave you forever
You end up far from them
The feeling of emptiness,
The everything that i had,
Has been taken away from me
Undoing my past
Opening my wounds
Redoing the past
Repeating my bruises
Operating of the heart
Then it failed,
Broken,
Torn,
Weak,
And pail
There was a door,
That should have been locked
But then the door was forced open,
And now your gone
Everywhere i turn,
And everything i do,
It only reminds me of you
But its not the same
Nothing is never the same
Nothing will ever be the same
The love i had was strong
And the pain is making it stronger
Inside my body, my heart is still scarred
But inside my heart you will be forever held
And even the the other half is missing,
I know its with you
Everything you ever owned
Everything you ever touched
Everyone you ever loved
Everything thats around
Your so close
Everytime my heart calls
Everytime my mind thinks
Everytime my eyes cry
Everytime im still wondering where you are
Your so far

Why do i need to search for my strength
Finding my weakness just hurts too much
And i cannot tolerate the pain anymore
I just recently learned who i really am
And who i was
But when im injected,
Its just all fake
Picking through my body,
Picking through my veins,
Picking through my mind,
So i wont go one more time insane
It fills my heart will love
It fills my fears with no worries
It fills my anxiety with no fear
It fills my moods with stability
Is this real
Is this fake
Do i believe
Or did i make a mistake
My body is fighting
Im getting used to the drug
My body is sick & tired
Can i just stay off?
When my tears pour out,
I dont know what to do
Im so confused with life
Is this me
Or is this untrue
Running on fakeness
I wish i could give myself this relief
Running on chemicals
I wish this wasnt me
This is so fake
This isnt me
But if i stop now,
Ill go back the way i used to be
Why couldnt i handle my weaknesses on my own
Why couldnt i make all my fears go
Im hopeless
Im useless
I just cannot give myself life support
If i stop now, im so deadly to myself and other people
If i take it all away now,
My good will turn to evil all over again
My body craves for the fake happiness thats being swallowed and pushed down inside me
This isnt me
I didnt do this on my own
This is so fake
But i need to shut up and swallow what changes me

On the floor i lay,
The broken pieces are torn from myself
Where do i stand?
I cant
Where do i walk?
I cant
Where do i sit?
I cant
Broken
Bleeding
Undone
Unstable
I allow myself to fall
And my mind allows me to fail
Unstrong; i fight
But my strength is giving out
Giving up; i fail
And my weakness wins once again
This is forever pain
Pain is forever
& im so fragile,
Because i have no more stability
I cannot hold myself anymore
And to hold myself,
I need to accept a frame
To hold me in place
To bring my body together once again
For peace in my mind
I need & want to break free
To make myself steady
To inject myself with chemical
To turn myself inside out
My body is bruised
My body is stripped
My body is scarred
My body is cut
Ive been forced to be inside a piece of wood
Glued and tied to by body
Pressed against my brain,
It is monitoring me now
Cannot move
But i move without hurting
Cannot talk
But i talk calmly
And if this frame breaks,
Then i break
I cannot live on my own
Together but apart;
Apart i cannot do it on my own
Together with help;
Apart i cannot do this on my own
Im inside a cage
Forever i will be chained
Its only for life.
Im inside a frame,
So my body is together
Im inside a frame,
My mind is all together
And once this frame falls
I know i will fall and break in pieces
I am so used to being held up with something else's strength
A guard that wont let me down
If it leaves, i leave
Im addicted to this chemical support
Im framed outside my body
I will not be stable on my own
The frame that holds me teaches
But i will never learn to breathe on my own,
If i let myself go once again

When the darkness takes over the soul
Its a struggle to fight back
Then the bitterness approaches
And then i had to attack
My fears
My thoughts
My anger
My tears
The rage within me
The pain within me
I cannot stop now
Overpowering the spirit
The light inside me has closed
Controlling of the mind
Then the darkness opens a door
Crooked heart
Crooked soul
My shadow wants to escape
Crooked mind
Crooked personality
My soul is buried away
Twisted weakness
A strength with only a force
Evil lies inside a spell
Making my blood pour
Releasing tension,
My body is just broken
Releasing anger,
My screams has spoken
Releasing violence,
My strength has taken over me
Releasing tears,
My heart is bleeding
Difficult to function
And when i try, i make mistakes
Difficult to be calm
And when i try, i end up screaming
Difficult to talk to everyone
And when i try, i burn with anger
Difficult to be stable
And when i try, my moods keep changing
Difficult to be still
And when i try, i end up hurting
Difficult to change
And when i try, im start all over again

Overworked and stressed
Your body wanted to collapse
But then you fought your weakness
Your strength suddenly came back
You made the sad happy
You made the angry calm
You made the quiet loud
Tired
Frustrated
Stressed
But always had a smile on your face
Hiding from the pain
You pretended everything was ok
And that everything would be ok
But everything was not ok
And this was not ok
Finding the strength to pull through;
That was year 1
And then it overpowered
Another year,
Stronger
Another year,
Becoming weaker
Time was running out
Loved you too much to say goodbye
Loved you too much to be forced to cry
Loved you too much to see the worst
Loved you too much to see you permanently hurt
Rain of tears
Rain of sorrow
Never will this undo
Never will i forget tomorrow
Its over
Its done
But the pain is gone
Its over
Its done
Your suffering has ended
But our pain has begun