The sadness inside has grown
The sadness inside developed a habit
And im still broken
The tears that keep falling,
Developed an ocean & so ive drowned;
Thinking about one thing
Everything will always continue to be black;
& the colours of my spirit have faded away
The silence of my voice is the only loudness thats being heard
Im deaf being quiet
Im mute from screaming
Im drowning from crying
I walked on black ice,
And fell many times
I tried to swim in water,
And i continue to drown
I tried to be strong,
But in the end i was weak
My head was so empy,
But full of sadness
My heart was empty,
But full of pain
My mind was empty,
But full of negativity
My spirits were empty,
But full of emotions
My eyes were empty,
But full of tears
The colour that represents this pain is dark
No shadows
No light
Just dark and black
And this is the depression in the end of this tragedy
This is my sorrow

So innocent
So kind hearted
So giving
So loving
The miracles were like magic
And it was like he was a magician
And so he made it all happen..
Cured
Healed
Raised
Stilled
Opened
Loosened
Restored
Fed­
Cleansed
But they didn't like him
But they didn't believe him
But they didn't respect him
They were the definition of Evil
His wrists were trapped
And so he was arrested
Pulled
Pushed
Forced
His body was naked until they clothed him with nothing but a piece of cloth
Embarrassed
But so focused what the next steps
were about to happen
And then he started to feel the pain
Pointy
Circled
A crown on his head
Not just placed;
But pushed into his tender skin above his angelic face
And then he started to bleed
The pain wasn't over
Whips forced to touch his skin
His back covered with blood
And then he became weak
His weakness was trying to fight back his strength
And then this heavy piece of wood
Bigger then him
Thrown on his shoulder
And then he was forced to walk
Thrown to the ground
Thrown on top of a big letter T that was called a cross
The spikes suddenly pierced him
His hands
His feet
His beautiful skin was torn
The holes forced out red liquid that could never go back into his body
It was done
The pain wouldn't end
And then he was taller then everyone
In the air;
Suddenly he was pierced one last time
A sharp spear was forced through the side of his delicate skin
His body;
Ripped to pieces
And then he bowed his head
And then he closed his eyes
And then his last breath was made
And then his heart pumped one last time
And then he left
His soul was taken
His body was taken
Heavy hearts knew he wasn't coming back
And then it was so bright
They couldn't believe their eyes
Risen
He appeared
An angel had been created
Through eyes
Through ears
Through nose
Through mouth
Through heart
Through body
Through mind
The only person who can save your soul
The only person who will forgive your sins
The only person who has the power
The only person who can set you free

This day was too quick
Too quick for my tears to finish
"Lets go see your mother,"
He said to me
I wasnt stupid
Pretended i was fine, my quiet voice responded "ok"
I knew this was the last day
I knew this was the last night
My heart beating,
I was afraid.
My blood boiling,
I was nervous.
Alive, there she was
But so broken
So fragile
So fair
And then i saw her weakness
There was so little time
A blank page i had to write,
There were no words to express the feeling within me
I kissed her softly
She who was only able to see
She who had limited amounts of breathing
She who was unable to speak
My voice entered her
What do you say to a dying heart?
What do you say to a damaged soul?
What do you do when you have to ****** strength or miracle to give?
I just wanted to feel her pain
Because my pain was too little
Her suffering forced our eyes to stay open;
Wishing God would change his plan
Doctor arrived;
So what does this mean?
And then suddenly everyone but me was in another room
I just forced myself in
And the news that i got shocked me
And the news that i got tortured me
And the news that i got already killed me to be partnered with her soul
But i needed to be prepared to be strong;
Especially for my poor sisters
There was no time for tears
Time was running out
I stayed by her side
Forced to watch her suffer with pain;
It hurt so bad when she was trying to explain just one word
Breathing;
She wasnt breathing normally
I couldnt take it anymore
I knew what was going to happen
But i didnt know when
Stupid me,
I had ran out the door;
Screaming
Crying
Becoming crazy
I just wanted to be alone
Stupid me,
I missed her last goodbye
Her last breath was watched by others and not me
I missed my beautiful angel's breath leave her body
I didnt ****** stay by her side
The time should have been frozen
And i regret it all !
And then those hurtful words from nonno into the telephone;
Telling loved ones,
"Shes GONE"

A loud force of anger
Awakens a tortured soul
The tension inside the mind pushes the voice to release a huge sound
And then it all comes out with aggression
Fighting to push it all away
The fears from a nightmare wake a scared heart
The mind is the one who creates these dark images
I've had it;
Im done.
Maybe my screams will push it all away
Maybe my screams will allow my strength to stay
When i need to let everything out
When i need to control the darkness
When i need to run away
But then i realize this isnt working
My lungs are broken
My diaphragm is numb
My vocal cords are tired
My voice is repeating itself over and over
My ribs are shattered
My chest is burning
My throat is swollen
My lips are cracking
Louder and louder
It just hurts to scream
Louder and louder
And noone can hear me
Panicking
Hyperventilating
Racing heart
Racing mind
Fear
Losing control
My moods are wild
And confused about life
Scream to cry
Scream with anger
Scream to fall
Scream forever

Now its that time to grieve
And be in shock until were settled
Now its that time to cry
Because you left us and we had to say goodbye
Now its that time to be angry
And ask God why she had to leave
Now its that time to be broken
Half the heart is buried
And the other is alone
Now its that time
Now its that time where we can only kiss your pictures
Because your body has disappeared
Now its that time when we can only talk into the air
And hoping u can hear through the sky
Now its that time when we look what you left behind
And wished you were still here
Now its that time we struggle
Because you were always there for us
Now its that time we remember
Because the memories you made will never be forgotten
Now its that to realize
And remember the one who left us is her
But now its also that time i dont want to accept
I dont want to accept that this is forever

I want to unwind
I want to change it all
I want to make myself over
I want to un fall
Forget how i look
Forget how i sound
Forget how i move
Forget that im standing on ground
Remove my fears
Remove my attitude
Remove my negativity
And make myself new
Stop my anxiety
Stop my moods
Stop my hyperventilation
Stop everything that needs to undo
Erase what i am
Erase everything within me
Erase who i am
Erase myself completely
Paint myself new
I wanna recent copy
Paint my own picture
Of how i need myself to be

Its too much to handle
Because i cant make it stop
All the weight is crushing me
Because i cannot breathe
Im underneath it all
Its undoing my strength,
And replacing me with weakness
Im unable to change what has been started
My anger is escalating
And i am just getting exhausted
Feeling trapped,
These chains i cannot break
Im under a cage;
Im behind a wall
Inside, im breaking
Outside, im damaging
All together, im going crazy
All at once, i lost my mind
Im just so frustrated and want to hide
How do i handle such complications
The stress
The anger
The anxiety
I cannot release
Take me away from it all
I just wanna lose myself
I just wanna break this tension
And then hopefully hell will fail
Like an explosion
Im waiting to explode
The blood within me is already boiling with anger
And like a car in an accident;
Im going to finally crash