Innocent baby girl
So sweet; so tender
Heart of gold
Body so delicate
Soul so free
Innocent little girl
Talks so softly
Very shy
Very quiet
Very gentle
Behaves and respects mommy and daddy
Troubled teenaged girl
Confused about life
About everything and everyone around her
Getting out of control
Her temper is taking steps
Learning she was able to yell at mom and dad
Eyes learning how to tear
Her soul starts to peel
Her body starts to pull
Her heart turns grey
She realizes she's trapped;
But doesn't know where
Her conscience introduced her to a razor
Troubled woman
Confused with herself
About life and everything else
Everyone included
Totally out of control
Her temper is making her heart race
Yells & screams at the top of her lungs
Mom and dad just don't know what to do
The tears are making her drown
Its like the devil overpowered her innocence
Her soul is ripped
Her body is stripped
Her heart is black;
With the blood pouring out of her skin
Partying
Drinking
Cutting
Unlimited amounts of ***
Now she knows she's trapped inside her body & soul
Denying the fact she was sick
So sick
So crazy
So unmedicated
Pushing family and friends away
Didn't care
Didn't respect
Didn't regret
Her life,
So ruined

Never thought I would receive such heart-breaking news
That I was unable to choose
That you couldnt be rescued
Never thought your heart would grow weak
That you would forever sleep
That you and God would meet
Never thought my heart would break
That I knew this was all a big mistake
That God had to take
Never thought the day would go by
That you would fly
That I would cry
Never thought that I would lose
That the devil was accused
That my heart is now bruised
Never thought that I would feel this pain
That I became insane
But heaven has gained...
An angel
Mother Queen of Angels
My beautiful angel
Your daughter cries on...

Undo the anger,
I can't handle the stress anymore
Undo the fears,
I don't want to be scared anymore
Undo the tears; undo the depression; undo the sorrow,
I don't want to cry anymore
Undo the nightmares,
I don't want insomnia anymore
Undo the noise,
I don't want to scream anymore
Undo the pain,
I don't want to feel anymore
Undo the hate
Undo the lies
Undo the haters
Undo the liars
Undo the two-faced
Undo the judging
Undo the talking
Undo the laughing
Undo the ignorance
Undo the selfishness
Undo the heartless
Undo the bitterness
Undo the tension
Undo the drama
It's enough
Undo them in my life

The water is blinding me
The salt is burning me
My body is pouring out the liquids of pain
The stream is on my skin
Its exactly like rain
& then my head starts;
Blowing up like a balloon.
Its hurting so much
The pain from inside
The pain from water
Unstoppable weakness
Unstoppable pain
Redness in my eyes
Redness on my face
Burning in my eyes
Burning on my face
My body is so tired
My hands are so tired
From wiping away too many tears
& if i shut my eyes, more will fall
Im having trouble seeing
Im having trouble hearing
Im having trouble swallowing
Im having trouble breathing
My fear within
My weakness within
My pain within
Is causing my lids to swell
My tears wont stop falling
I cannot control these swollen eyes

This meaning cannot be explained.
The sad eyes of the mirror,
Is what I stare into.
My body & soul grew so weak.
& I've been invisibly shot;
Through the air;
The bullets forced me to bleed.
My lungs cannot hold the air anymore;
So my breathing is getting slower.
My heart is getting weaker.
In shock with reality,
My body freezes.
Im used to the pain,
So I lost feeling within me
Just like a physical force,
I feel it mentally.
Im hurting in my head & body.
I have no time what physically harms me.
I pierce myself with relaxation.
The blade makes me bleed these moods away.
Hyperventilation.
Anxiety.
Fear.
Anger.
Sadness.
These are the moods of hurt.

Performances in the dark;
It undo's the secrets of unbraveness.
The black cloud took over the sky.
The lightening pierced the sun.
The thunder chased away all the confidence;
The braveness was chased away by fear.
& its so dark.
& its so silent.
& its so unexpected.
Not an actress,
But I perform;
The lines of fear.
Standing there afraid.
Standing there frozen.
Standing there with shame.
Standing there with anxiety.
Standing there embarrassed.
Standing there unprotected.
The lights that pierce my eyes.
The sounds that stab my ears.
The air that stops my breathing.
The stage that allows me to fall.

They dont release themselves from my mind.
The good ones,
The bad ones;
Both force tears out of my eyes.
& when I used to wish;
I couldnt wait to be older,
Now I wish,
That I had stayed younger.
Flashbacks never fail.
Faces never disappear.
The whispers inside my head never stop.
I can & never will move forward in my life.
The walls are movie theatres;
Everywhere I turn,
Something is playing from the past.
The floors are ice;
I fall for every mistake I've made.
I release so much anger.
I release so much guilt.
I release so much confusion.
& I keep connecting with the past.
& I keep disconnecting with the present.
& I keep fearing the future.
I want to undo this pain;
To reconnect with myself again.
But my mind is in one spot.
Im unable to continue.
I cannot move forward.