Like a bat in the night,
Your unable to rest your eyes.
& you charge into my room as a thunderstorm begins.
Your wings make you fly over top of me.
Its the force of your mind,
That pushes yourself onto my body.
I can already tell your twisted;
I am your first & only victim.
& your eyes try to hypnotize.
As Im forced to look deep inside you,
Im falling under your spell.
Your crazy; but gorgeous eyes weaken me.
Your hands,
So strong.
They slowly tighten me;
Making it hard for me to move.
I know that your never gonna leave,
Until you get what you want.
My ears are suddenly ringing from your whispers.
My mind is filled with your naughty thoughts.
& so you told me your lips were dry;
& so you told me I will quench your thirst.
& with a naked neck on my body,
You slowly moved your mouth towards me.
It was slow,
But the stabbing was so quick.
Your teeth were like thorns;
So sharp,
So controlled.
& suddenly I felt pressure.
Im hyperventilating;
Trying to breathe,
But its so hard.
By body,
Shaking.
My body,
Dizzy.
My body,
Slowly fainting.
& with my blood flowing to the floor like a river,
You finally got a hold on me,
& wont let go.
You stabbed me with your pointed teeth.
You stabbed me hard.
Your bite was like a snake;
& your poison released my blood.
I am now in your hands.
& after I faint,
You can finally take advantage.

Desperate to release the red liquid within my body.
I wanna feel the dizziness;
& relaxation my body hides inside.
Blades of a weapon,
Is what my hand is thirsty for.
The cuts,
Is what my arm is hungry for.
Scars of depression is what I want to make.
I tease my veins,
But I destroy my skin.
I hide my frowns,
But at home I cry out loud.
My sleeves protects me,
But underneath is a disaster.
The starting is all in my brain.
My mentality goes nuts.
My heartbeat increases.
Im hyperventilating,
& my nerves cant stop shaking.
A nervous feeling erupts.
The knife is suddenly in my hand.
I cant turn back now.
Its just at that point,
Where I cant stop.
Its just at that point,
Where I need to focus.
Its just at that point,
Where I need to be left alone.
No distractions.
No interruptions.
I need to focus on damaging.
I need to focus on relaxation.
I need to **** my inner self.
& I need to destroy whats outside of me.
I need to satisfy my conscience.
I just need to bleed.

The mirror doesnt know how to lie;
& its my enemy.
My head is playing all the games,
& my body tries to fight myself.
Im the best at being the worst.
Im perfect at being clumsy.
Im smart at being stupid.
Im amazing at being ugly.
Im truthful when I say I lie to myself.
Im trustworthy when I say I cant trust myself.
My mind plays games;
& makes sure I lose.
Im so naïve when Im forced to believe something.
It plays a big part of me.
It plays my boss.
& Im always trapped.
Im a prisoner in my own body.
I wish I could change everything about myself.
I just wanna see myself differently.
An angry mood is what I witness.
So unhappy with myself;
& what Ive become.
Its impossible to go back.
Its impossible to change.
Positivity doesnt even enter my brain.
Its forbidden to enter me.
I cant even think.
All the negativity is forced within my body.
I just wanna **** the devil inside me;
And reappear an innocent angel.
I wanna chase the nightmares at night,
& wake up with a beautiful dream.
& if I break the mirror,
I wonder if I can glue it together again;
With a different image than what I see;
When I look through it everyday.
My looks.
My mentality.
My personality.
My attitude.
My weakness.
My anger.
My anxiety.
My depression.
Myself altogether,
Is what needs to disappear.

Im unable to swallow,
Im unable to breathe.
I feel like there is a thousand knives stuck in my throat;
Just going deeper & deeper,
Cutting off my circulation.
I have no strength to open up my airway.
I have no strength to stop the blood from escaping my body.
It burns;
Im trying to breathe,
But I appear to choke.
Im in so much pain;
Each knife feels like a set of hands;
Strangling me tighter & tighter,
Each time everything gets worse.
Everything is trying to enter me all at once.
Its too much for me to swallow;
& everything gets lodged inside.
I have forgotten how to breathe,
& I have forgotten how to swallow.
My heart is getting weaker.
Its slowing down.
My blood has turned cold,
& stopped the flow through my body.
My skin has suddenly gone numb.
My fingers & toes wont stop tingling.
Everything is happening all at once.
Cant swallow,
Cant spit it back out.
I just need to finally give up.
Just allow everything to take away my freedom to breathe.
Its all becoming more of a struggle.
Struggling for air;
Gasping,
Helpless,
In need to breathe.
In need to reach out,
But unable to swallow.

The colour red,
Took over all the other colours;
As my anger takes over all emotions.
Like a switch that turns on in my head;
Im suddenly alert at what tends to strike me.
I feels like Ive been hit with a thousand bricks.
It feels like Ive been burned with fire.
It feels like Im choking,
& so I try to grasp for air.
It feels like my heart stops working each time.
It feels like my body collapses all together.
Its at the moment that my mind thinks its ok to allow me to snap;
Allow me to lose my temper.
Im wanting to control myself,
But I keep losing my mind.
I cant find the strength to control myself.
Im guilty of anger.
Im guilty of going off the deep end;
& finally drowning.
I only find my strength when Im strong enough to lose control.
So violent;
The doors I slam.
The things I throw.
The floor that I bang.
My hair that I pull.
My skin that I pierce.
My vioce that I project.
My whole body;
That creates a storm.
Im so full of rage.
Its a nervous heart beat,
Pounding through my chest.
Instead of breathing,
Im gasping for air.
Im unable to relax;
I overreact at each situation.
I feel so trapped inside my body;
Like there is something inside me that wont escape.
Its making me go crazy,
As it controls me.
So hard when I try to calm myself down.
The more I try,
The more outta control I get.
My nerves wont stop shaking.
My heart wont stop pounding.
My mind wont stop racing.
Acting before thinking,
Im physically dangerous.
Thinking before acting,
Im mentally wanting to **** myself.
I wish I knew what to do.
I wish I knew how to deal with everything.
I wish I knew how to control myself.

Allow me to escape.
I wanna just forget everything;
& leave everything behind me.
I need to disappear;
Run from all the problems.
I need to erase myself from everything.
I dont wanna be seen anymore.
I cant look at myself in the mirror anymore;
Allow me to shatter it to pieces.
I wanna be invisible on the floor;
So I can step all over myself,
Step on my chest to stop breathing.
I wanna just end my heart;
End myself.
End my life.
Its too much to handle.
Im going crazy.
I need to be distant from everything & everyone.
I just dont know what to do anymore.
Im unable to control myself;
& everything around me.
I wanna close my eyes,
& never wake up.
I wanna lock myself away from the world;
Throw away the key,
& hide where noone can find me.
Now I need to carve a button on my skin with a knife;
Called delete.
& when I press on it,
I slowly bleed my life away.

I wanna feel your lips.
I wanna feel your teeth;
My neck is naked without your face on me.
Breathe on me.
I wanna feel you close.
I wanna feel your energy.
I wanna feel your body.
Lie me down with force.
Im bidding for us to play a game.
Let us play with eachother physically;
Because mentally Im already playing with you with my eyes.
Let us tear each other’s clothes, & undo our souls.
Let us escape into the darkness, & dance under the sheets.
I crave you.
My body is hungry for you.
Im dehydrated,
And you need to quench my thirst.
Im unrestrained;
When you try to have a hold on me.
Your beatings break me.
They break everything but my heart;
And it is strong from our energy.
I tackle you,
As you tackle me.
Then as you tighten your hands around my wrists,
You slowly enter me
As the speed gets intense,
I dont want you to slow down; nor stop.
Our breathing gets harder.
Our hearts pump faster at the same speed as one another.
You make me scream louder.
Its impossible to stop our actions.
You leave my neck bruised from your mouth.
I leave your back bleeding with the scratches from my nails.
We make the bed smash the wall,
As we continue to dance between the sheets.
You seductively ***** me;
& then we were sexually torn.