Yesterday we
had ***
(I wouldn't call it making love yet)
It wasn't amazing.
Didn't blow my mind. Change my world.
But it comforted me. Even in between the "we shouldn'ts".
And I know its at someone's expense.
But that's not how I see it.
It's also at our happiness.

I overromantice everything.
The way you held me tight.
You are always running your hands through my hair.
There is so much tension between our goodbye and our kiss and our goodbye again.
You said you love my smile. That you like me "a lot more than I should". That I'm totes adorbs.
And you are frustrating and terrifying and intoxicating and I want to drink you in like a mug of coffee.
And when we talk or we cuddle or we just sit. It doesn't feel wrong.
And I deserve this. I want this. **** her and rules and everyone.
Because I've been giving away parts of key body for so long that I forgot what it feels like to share my heart.
And it feels like hope and summer and bad decisions and confusion and snapchats and ****** Mac n cheese and weird music and new beginnings.
And I'll hide with you. Let's hide from the world. We can't share this newly blossoming romance and maybe its better that way.
This is honest. And raw. And poetic. And full of lust and terror and emotion.
I want to kiss you until our breathes are taken away. I want to hold you until you forget. I want to get coffee and get drunk and get high with you. I want to feel.
Thank you for helping me feel.

I don't date
anymore.
But with you I wouldn't
mind
being stupid and letting go.
I mean
I kind of
already
am

As we
sleep
you whisper
I love you
to her

Have you ever wanted someone to beg for you?
To push against you and plead to feel you ?
To tell you how theyve ached for you .. All... Day ..long.
I need that .
Begging and baring teeth ,
Crazed without my fingertips.
I want him pacing , anxiously awaiting my return, where i can remind him again why im worth waiting for .
I want him up all night counting and recounting the 100 different ways i drive him crazy , a constant game of teasing and rewards.
I want my name to give him goosebumps, closing his eyes and hearing how it sounds rolling off his tongue.....
I want him crazy about me .

i. You imprinted my thighs with (x)'s
ii. nothing about us was beautiful, we were bad rhymes and crumpled art
iii. I asked you out with cold coffee and trembling fingers, it is not as romantic as it sounds
iv. you loved my lips with razor blades, I kissed your lines with tears and alcohol
v. my wrists fit in your palms better than my hand matched yours.
vi. I did not know how to fall properly
vii. neither did you.