I don't want to cry
but I can feel the tears.
The words pierced my heart
as they fell from your mouth.

Anger spewed from my soul
as you sprouted an apology.
Those words were too late
they shouldn't have been needed.

But you chose to break me
the cracks are visible to the world.
I try on a smile, it's too fake
I try out a laugh, it's too weak.

I missed you before the words
but this fault has made me loathe.
You can't take them back
and I can't forget them.

The morning sun teases my eyelids
'no, not yet'
1:11 AM, come and gone.
5:30 AM, my new lover

This middle-of-the-night breakdown shook my body
A small earthquake starting in my heart
spreading through my chest
after shock visible on my cheeks

Molten lava flowed from my eyes
burning rivers down my face
turning to rain to fall from my chin
pooling at my feet
before drowning me in a natural disaster

A worldwide phenomenon
a storm named for you

I woke with a start
at 1:11 AM
from a bad dream
that you weren't in
but I found myself
restless in my bed

A glass of water
at 1:11 AM
but my bed felt wrong
so I cried myself to sleep
on my borrowed couch
pillow and cheeks an endless damp

I woke with puffy eyes
at 3:00 AM
a fitful cat nap
beneath a down blanket
no more tears fell
as I drifted off again

I woke to my alarm
at 6:00 AM
but I wasn't done
my eyes weren't dry
so I hit the snooze
and burrowed into the couch

I woke one last time
at 7:00 AM
curled in a ball
on my borrowed couch
but I got up
to start my first day without you

I

looked into his eyes
overlooking the pain in mine
vanity
enveloped all other emotion

touching him
overtook my heart with
overwhelming devastation

i
never
thought he wouldn't change his mind
even after my pleas, my tears he
never budged on his
stance to
erase me from his
life and leave me
yearning.

The sun still sets
and stills rises
without your "good night".

Miles away you sit
watching the same sun
but never thinking of me.

The moon rises
and lights up my room
and the empty pillow beside me.

The moon sets
making way for the sun
even without your "good morning".