You wouldn't spend the day with me
and no one made me a birthday cake.
The latter would not be so devastating
without all the events leading up to it.

You couldn't find it in you to stay
and you choose the wrong words.
If only it had been any other day
and no one made me a birthday cake.

You didn't want to spend the day with me
and I only kept getting older.
You kissed me like you were sorry
but no one made me a birthday cake.

Don't worry
I'll be just fine
sitting here
waiting for your text

Don't worry
I'll be just fine
sitting here
waiting for your excuse

Don't worry
I'll fine
waiting alone
contemplating your words

Don't worry
I'm fine
waiting alone
reading between your lines

I guess I'm not the girl
who you say "I love you" to
or the girl you can't forget about.

I guess I'm not the girl
who you come back to
or the girl you call just because.

I guess I'm not the girl
who you spend forever with
or the girl you hold on to.

I'm just the girl who's life
is so easy to walk in and out of
without a glance back.

The love I had with him
I'll never feel again
It was young
It was naive

When I loved him
I was selfish
He was nonchalant
We were jealous

The love I had with him
was meant for 19 year olds

Western Montana rain fell
as songs played that reminded me of you
even songs I've never heard before
made me remember your touch.

Windshield wipers wiped away the water
but my lashes couldn't stop the tears
as southern Idaho came into view
here is where I used to stay with you.

This interstate never seemed so lonely
as the winds picked up and the storm raged
I should pull over and wait out the flood
but I have to keep going to get this town,

to get past you.

I try to build a wall
but each touch
each kiss
each sigh
brings a fire
that burns down every effort.

I try to separate the feelings
like you seem to
but each day
each week
each month
bring me closer
to every emotion I smother.

I worry you don't care
as much as I do.

I worry that there is someone else
you aren't telling me about.

I build this wall
I try to separate feelings
because I know there is something wrong.

When I first met you
you were just a boy
I'd hoped I could help you grow up

It didn't take me long to realize
that would never happen

I was angry
I was hurt

But when we talked the other night
you were so much more than that boy
you were the man I'd longed for

It didn't take me long to realize
my feelings hadn't changed

I'm falling in love
or maybe I never stopped