Lip stick stains all over my notebook
from every night I stumble in,
with my organs drowning
and my fingers shaking
I spill over the edges of my skull
and splash onto the pages
Your best friend brushes
your hair when you're anxious?
Isn't that sweet
My best friend has a satin binding
Blue lines and red margins
I was perpetually anxious
until I found him
lying lifelessly
behind a little sign that read
"Two for $5"
at my local library
when I was thirteen

i've been told time and time again that
we are made of stardust, to the point where it's
not even poetic anymore, it's just
science. and while they're something beautiful in
chemical reactions and the attraction between
us and the earth's core, there is nothing beautiful
about the way biology was ruined for me
in seventh grade when we dissected frogs and i realized
that's actually what we look like inside-
we don't house constellations or milky ways or anything
worth staring at
                            (but even still, i couldn't look away).

i wonder if there's any chance of us being rescued from our flesh,
i wonder if maybe one day after we're turned to dust
again, our remnants will break free of earth's gravity
and we'll get the chance to be stars once more.

(i wonder if the reason we reach towards the sky at night
is because we can feel our brothers calling us back home)

the last thing you can ever allow someone to do
is to allow them to control your happiness

It's kind of funny.
I see all these girls,
Beautiful girls,
Perfect hair,
Perfect body,
Perfect skin,
Talk of pain.
Write of pain.
Cry of pain.

But what of pain
Do they really know?
Don't love me,
They say,
I am broken-
I am insignificant-
I have walls-
And every man
Falls into their hand
Like they planned,
I suppose.

It angers me,
You see, for

I am lacking
Perfect hair,
A perfect body,
And perfect skin.
I talk of pain.
I write of pain.
I cry of pain but,

I am alone.

Have you ever looked at the sky and felt forever?
Like the stars are having conversations behind our backs-
Taking bets,
Sipping on cheap wine and
Smoking cigarettes.

Maybe they're telling stories?
Cracking a joke, drinking a beer, and
Gambling on our silhouettes.
Drunk, they must fall out of the sky and down to earth,
Like their butts created black smoke-
Raining from the atmosphere.

And maybe that's why the world is so ****** up,
Chalk it up to star dust.
They must really enjoy it up there,
Faded in the stratosphere.

Van Gogh said he would rather die
Of passion
Than of boredom,
And I wonder if that's why he shot himself.

Because in a dark and mundane world,
Where sometimes only dreamers
See the light,
It becomes a burden
To live with passion.

Oscar Wilde wrote,
"A dreamer is one who
can only find his way by moonlight,
and his punishment is that he sees
the dawn before the rest of the world."
Maybe he understood
Being a dreamer is a
Blessing of a curse.

Sometimes it doesn't seem fair
From a dreamer's eyes,
When I try to talk and say something
But no one understands.
And I breathe in-
"They'll never understand"-
Breathe out-
"Could anyone understand?"  

And everyone's perplexed
Because I cry
When they say I should laugh,
And I laugh
When they say I should cry.

Someone asked me
"What's your favorite flower?"
And when I said dandelions,
They told me they were weeds.
I said they are what you make them.

If you allow them to flourish,
They are flowers befitting a king.

If you think of them as weeds,
You won't see the beauty,
You'll only see grass
That won't grow,
Not flowers to pick for mommy,
Or what you need to make a flower crown,
And sometimes,
The more you try to rid yourself
Of dandelions,
The stronger they come back.

Just like dreamers.

If you see me
As a ****,
You won't see the blessing
In the curse.

But if you see me
As a flower,
Delicate
But stubborn,
Ready to be nurtured,
You'll see more of a blessing
Than a curse.