right now i couldn’t care less about how you’re feeling
i don’t ******* care about what you think
you don’t care now?

you didn’t care
the night you forgot me
when you looked at her pretty blue eyes

you didn’t care
two summers ago
in the back of your mom’s car
even though i said no

tell me a day you did love me*

what a vicious cycle
we’re being dragged in
you broke my heart
i broke a million hearts
now
i’ve finally broke your’s

the victim cries
because i’ve broken everything
how mercilessly i exist

you left me empty
the air missing in my lungs
words hanging from my lips
sunken eyes

you blame me
i blame you
for creating the monster
who flashes that smile
tilts her pretty little head
who pushes boys into walls
with empty intent
and repentant eyes

i’m destroying myself
they think i’m enjoying myself
someone hold me down

no matter how much
i curse the world and myself

i love it all
being gifted another day
living in a universe
of endless possibilities

waking to the stars
fading in the sky

the summer nights
where the kiss of sleep
meets you in the morning light

the way
you can see the moon
waiting in the evening

the fear in taking chances
the quiet thank you’s
when its was worth it

the stiffness that meets you
after a night of
swinging arms and
endless dancing

the hugs hello
after goodbye seemed like a forever

the dive of pins and needles
in the first hot week of june

and the aspect that
things have a way
of working themselves out

i’m in love with the promise
that something fantastic
is happening somewhere

please stop suffering
you are too young to be so sad

you lock the door
let the music scream
as loud as your thoughts

starring in the mirror crying
ugly, ugly, ugly

oh god knows
that i wish i could protect you
every second of everyday,
but the matter of fact is
i can scare away those kids,
i can wave away our parents,
i can’t protect you from yourself

i can only steal so many razors
tell you that you’re beautiful so many times
i’m beating myself
trying to save you

nobody loves me
you utter
i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry

please don’t leave me here
please let me help you

i don’t have the words
to give you what you need
to stay
you just have to believe
its going to be okay

is there such thing
as a happy poet

it was a damp burning day in mid june
the dusk threatening to scorch the mountains
the air so thick we might as well have drown

from the nauseating condition of the summer
we found ourselves seeking refuge,
maybe in more than one way
laying in the pews of a dusty church
the plague of memories hanging heavy in the air

you were standing in a shadow
cast by God’s gates
she was whispering your name
from inside
as you sat where she once had
i was millions of miles away
pulling on God’s arm
begging for you to stay

still we sat there
tossing words about life and death
back and forth between the two of us
as we sat in two places
both those things had so greatly touched
i felt God’s eyes resting on us
the universe so immense
so minuscule, we were

now you’re with them
and i’m too scared
to sit in the front row at church

walking into hospitals
its wrapping weights around my ankles and jumping into a pool
of all the farewells whispered to you
i hold my breath
because your name and so long
are a shot of vinegar i refuse to take

you’re still here
i saw you in a dream