Leave.
If you must.
I won't stop you.
I'll never beg for love.
I'll never disclose what makes me feel weak.
I'll just watch you and take note.
Which foot you put first.
If you breathe heavier than usual.
Any hesitation you may have.
Lasting regrets, unsaid sentences.
If your eyes meet mine for the last time.
The way your body moves away from sight.

And so, your scent disappears with your skin.

My ****** expression never changed.
Yet tears stream down my face without my consent.
You talked about me as if I were ill.
Maybe I am.
Maybe I am crazy and undeserving as you said.
But this time I tried so hard to be normal.
How dare you.
How did you notice?
The cold has penetrated my bones.
I feel it
I can't be saved, can I?

I purge what's left inside.
Over and over.

I'm crying for me, not for you.

I’ve never found charm in speaking
words that you don’t mean
or falling over sentences
struggling with broken speech
the same way that I have never found home
in the body I call mine
that internal war I fight
between my heart and between my mind.

The world will never understand
why I tremble in daily conversation
I cause confusion in my thoughts
skipping over words in trepidation
But miscommunication then turns to judgement
without a second glance
and your lack of hesitation destroys me
tracing it’s steps into my one woman war

Well isn’t that just like your fears,
setting you up for failure?

To admire is to look afar,
to stare at the distant evening star.
To admire is to keep away,
hold your selfish feelings at bay.

To admire is to give them space,
because your feeling is but of disgrace
To admire is to stand your ground
to mere weakness and shame abound.

But to love,

To love is to draw close and near,
to hold you now and hold you here.
To love is to grasp on tight,
lest you be lost on stormy flight.

To love is to breathe you in
your mind, your heart and your skin.
To love is to exist in you
in every single thing you do.

To love is to give all you can,
and only ever stop to ask "when?"
To love is to remain unbound,
as it's passion is the most beautiful sound.

To love is to hold you in me,
till almost the same we would be.
To love is to give me to you,
and my heart stay steadfast and true.

To love is to stay by your side,
come hell, heaven or high tide.
To love is to experience hate,
but despite that to love more due to the strait.

To love is to always uplift,
even in a sea of sadness you drift.
To love is never to be blue,
for all I need is to look at you.

Sensual breath of air;
a mortal coil for all seasons and
peach blossoms in spring.

Viking leaves footprints on
golden lawns trimmed in orchids
underneath the ****** cherry tree.

Star gazing at midnight
moon reflects stolen kisses;
her fingertips undress me.

Let loose your spirit
free to glide the crested waves
longing for deep sleep.

Breathe in your shadows
remember time before when
we were solo bound.

Lost in translation
but never in forgotten moments;
I still hear her sound.

The waves lap ashore
carried by an icy Northern breeze;
embrace loss and all that is yet to come.

I will not forget
nor let slip this broken heart
that carries your name.

Symbols etched in granite
timeless in the solitude
of unrequited love lost.

Farewell my ripe peach -
the fruit of your ***** to savour;
exhale the remnants of time.