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forever still.
she watched hushed trees
in her hushed presence .
hard stone announced her going.
she looked down apon the hushed voices,
loud souls.
they soon became forever still as well.
At what point can I call myself a poet?

If I could fully articulate what and how I felt
  at the moment when I watched my mother
  slowly slip away from me and this world

If I could completely convey the oppressive sense of loss
  the helplessness, the hopelessness, the loneliness
  the shocking realization of irreversibility, the finality

If my words could make you feel the draining of my soul
  the relinquishment of having even an instant in the future
  when it seems that all is perfect in my world

If I could construct a phrase that could relate the emptiness
  behind the grief that comes with knowing that no longer would
  birthdays and holidays be wrapped in her joy and infectious spirit

If my poem could shout out to you the overwhelming regret
  that accompanies the inability to hold her, to kiss her, to say I'm sorry
  or to tell her just how very much I love her ever again

If I were truly able to do these things
  maybe then I could call myself a poet


                                 Happy Mother's Day, Mom
                                    I miss you & I love you!
                                            ****'s & ooo's
any hope I ever had left long ago
lost in the wind
a kite with a broken string
the scissors held in the trembling hands
of my mother
and now she wonders
where the child she once loved
has gone
and I don't have the heart
to tell her
that she burned the kite with a
gas station zippo lighter
and the ashes were poured
into a glass
of merlot.
To drown in the void; a steadfast oxymoron
But I am struggling to stay afloat
My limbs lack sensation, mockery of my mind
Vocal cords cut, stolen that night in the snow
Carried to the cosmos on an angels back
Helen, how you torment me!
A thousand whispers, torrential and coaxing
To find silence would be all end all; greatest defeat
But what a warrior I found in you,
Quiet and it's little reverie
Infinite; feeling as though I should explode
The quickness of newly discovered emption uncontainable
But in solidation I am weak, without your armed defences
And Helen is touching my skin again
Should you find me hung up in the closet
Snowy skin and rosy cheeks
Kiss my lips, please
Tell me I am beautiful
Becoming in a shift of sheer white
Lace, frills, and pearls
My head was waxed up
Deafened to your shouts
So you left and so did I
To be with the buzzing of the bees
I fiddle with these words
They lie naked on my tongue.
But like a broken man
They just can't seem to run.

I've learned not to force this.
To push this past my lips,
A tragedy worse than my travesties.
I'm still a little faint of heart.

When rain falls it does not smear.
It sticks, and then it drips.
Well these 3 syllables are certainly glued,
But we both still feel a little bruised.

When my lips do decide to spill
These raindrops it has coaxed inside,
Will you know that they fall gracefully, honestly?
They were meant to be taken gently.

A cool breeze should encourage them.
Will they wet your worn skin
Soak into you like a refreshing swim
Will they moisten your heart and not just your limbs?

Or where I see a downpour do you see a spark.
Awaiting a new host, softly lighting the dark.
Growing ever closer to your extended fuse.
When you ignite, will I be consumed?

Does it help, when I state your name.
When I beckon, do I carry you close to sanity?
Or do I hurl you farther,
Over the edge of calamity.

Tell me, When you fall
Will it be like raindrops, or a cliff.
At least, tell me, when you fall
Could you find it in your drenched heart,
Or scorched lungs,
To let me join you?
Shaking hands to match my insides
Where a meaty heart quickens neath a milky bone cage
Uneven lungs twitching
Half filled with soot slithering up throat
Twining to ebony flume
Shaking head to match my hands; asphyxiations byproduct

— The End —