Two hundred years ago,
We met.
And you were for me,
Even then. I saw it in your eyes
The first time I stepped
Into your path as you turned the corner,
Your round-toed shoes perfect,
As I brought down
My stare to meet them.
My momentary lapse of confidence,
Pierced with tender lips.
Carriage wheels spun,
As my heart leapt from my vest,
My mind counted,
The times I would say your name.
From this day forward,
Until the earth stood still,
And the sun burned dark
Those few letters bound
To my every happiness
I have waited all these years,
Just to hold you in my gaze again.
To feel the pain of ages escape,
With the breaths you steal in a kiss.
The small hands,
That once held my soul in place,
Back in mine.
And now with winter's dead,
Creeping into my ears,
Footprints in the snow,
Spilling away from me,
I will wait two hundred more,
Counting the times,
I will say your name

You ask of me,
To trust.
To bite of the ripened peach.
Savor the delight that is you,
Breathe in ecstasy,
The elixir of your flesh.
The starlight of your eyes,
Illuminating the darkness,
On the path that I have followed.
The butterfly wings that flutter,
Against my skin,
With each and every kiss.
You ask this of me.
To forget the inevitable,
****** of the blade.
Accept the scar from the flame,
Your eventual absence will bring me.
To welcome the oncoming storm,
Of winter with open arms.
To worship,
Desire,
Hope for,
The oncoming death,
Of your love for me.
Ask me once more.

Into A Den Of Vipers...
…And with smiles that belied
The truth of their desire
Ragged claws hidden
Beneath the charms and approval
Eyes that flashed
From tranquil blue to a dark
Mass of emptiness
They all stood and stared,
Calculated reach
To touch, To hold, to feel,
To steal and devour the last
Remnants of flesh from the frame.
Picking over the slowly decaying bones
Of an aged Prince,
all of you to revel in the dust.

Perfectly Foolish
Stupid.
I am
To think that I'd be rewarded,
For decades of doubt,
The Denial in the sublime.
To be caught so unawares,
I missed the moment,
Completely.
Stupid.
To hold you so tight,
Yet empty,
In grasp from my,
Reeling fingertips,
That ached in the very thought of you.
Stupid.
To be so set that,
Change tempts me none.
Fighting everything you,
Were given to show me.
By the sublime of the heavens.
Struggling against,
Decades of wait.
Gasping for air even as
Her Gift was to fill these lungs.
Stupid to imagine,
One more piece
Of hope.
One more gift
Of charity.
One more touch
Of compassion.
One more breath
Her lungs to mine.
One more exhale
Of God,
Into this now dead chest.
I have found the punishment,
For disbelief.

Into her arms I have fallen once more
The lover of my childhood.,
The safety net that nurses me,
I swallow in the breath of her
Burn my throat,
Make me feel the emptiness.
The pain that I endure to forgive myself,
My misdeeds,
My birth.
In the newness of this rapture I bathe,
In exquisite release,
Knowing too well the spiral
To follow.
Reckless I wander further into her,
One more sip of my demons to out run you all.
The truth be told that a false happiness,
Betters a real misery.

In the humming glow,
Of the street lights throw,
I stand in one place,
Feet as frozen as my glare.
Onto these hands,
Open palms turned downward,
Every scar a memory,
Lost and found,
In the back of my eyes
Each raised vein pushing,
Against the skin
To show unseen letters,
Words hidden from me.
Hope
Faith
Love
Here all along,
Pressed flat against the bone,
Only to be awakened by your touch.
And I stand in one place,
Feet frozen as my glare
As words scroll in infinite possibilities
Over the back of these hands….

I am empty.
Watching fingers pull,
My severed wrists across the floor,
The ragged flesh torn.
Violent separation,
As birth into this world.
Each scarred and broken hand
Slow slithering crawl,
Haunting me with failure.
Black paths trail,
And threats breathe,
The release of demons.
These hands that I cut from my own self,
To keep the visions away,
Bloodied I prayed,
For the words to stop.
To erase every memory,
Every syllable.
Be rid of these limbs,
Instruments of self deceit.
To become,
Normal.
That my eyes, my mind,
My heart,
To follow suit.
And I,
To be free,
At peace.
I have spilled blood for eternity,
Paid the toll for salvation,
Again and again.
Yet I am wretched.
My head swimming in lies,
Drowning in truths.
Cursed to live in twisted misery.
Whispers through the crack,
Under the door that
Fill my ears.
The stain of loss,
Upon my clothes.
And your every word,
Bitter upon my tongue.