I wear my makeup like a war paint
To me it's not a cover up
A camouflage
But instead what allows me
To charge into battle.
It enhance my best features
Instead of concealing the bad
After all,
A bright lipstick
Will only draw attention
To my smile
And why wouldn't I smile
When my cheekbones sparkle
When they hit the light
Or when my lashes flutter
So I feel like a disney princess.
Don't think I'm insecure
Just because I'm secure in
Choosing how I show my face
To the world.
Don't think I'm hiding
Behind a 'fake' or 'false' me.
My makeup is my war paint
And with my head held high
All can admire it
As I gracefully charge
Into battle.

I am surrounded
Completely and fully
With love
It drenches my hair
Dripping silky and smooth
Down my spine
And leaves my skin
Damp to the touch
Like a fine mist
A haze
That I breathe in,
A perfume that
Makes me see straight
And keeps my breathing
Steady and even
Lets my heart keep beating.
Love whispers to me
While I sleep
Keeps the bad thoughts away
And settles me
Glowing in the corner
Of my room
Keeping away the dark
And surrounding
Me in light
So I am weightless.

After the sleepy days of winter
I am ignited, brought to life,
The phoenix rising
And soaring through
Daydreams and memories.
I am caught by the edge of
A summer breeze
I whirl around in the air
Like a dandelion seed
Carrying the promise
Of a wish
The promise of tomorrow
The promise of summer.
I am a rainstorm after
Days of sticky heat,
I am the change of pressure
In the air, humid and thick
I am not stopping anytime soon
So couples dance and splash
Raincoats over sun dresses.
Today, because of me,
Everything is lush green and alive
So that when the sun peaks around
A cloudy corner once more
Nature will march to the order
And stand straight and tall
Breathtaking. Beautiful. Summer.

In the crowd of the room
The flashing lights
And pulsating tempo
Of music
That makes my bones
Shake
I am only focused on you.
Your hair, your eyes, your smile
Your confidence and ease.
In any other moment
Your lack of equal interest
In me
Would make my heart feel bruised
And my chest ache
As if it was cracked and hollow.
But, in this moment
I savour the opportunity
To drink in every bit of you
Unnoticed
And pretend that I'm
As much a part of the crowd as you are.
I repeatedly
Commit your face to memory
And then let myself enjoy
The feeling of your skin on mine
You in your overpriced designer t-shirt
Tanned arms bare in short sleeves.
And me in a strappy top
My carefully made up face
That is of no interest to you
Though you might have told me
I looked nice (as you sometimes do
Before we arrive
At these parties).
I cling onto these words
And let them guide
My easy and carefree smile
And swaying movements.
With you in front of me
It's easy to pretend.
I fool even myself
In these little moments
Convince everyone
And maybe even believe that
I am having the best time of my life
And then wonder
When I am alone
Why happiness feels so empty.

Today, the outside air smelt of summer.
It hit me with the same ferocity
As a strangers too strong perfume
But with the same familiarity
Of that of your mother's.
But how did a season have a smell
It was not the smell of
Freshly cut grass
Or flowers
Or even fruity drinks
The marketed, scents of the season
But instead raw, wonderful summer.
Were my senses altered?
Did I confuse the warmth of sun on my face
Or the blue of the sky
As a scent?
Then surely the harsh, chilling winds
Should have carried the scent
Of Autumn or Winter
And mangled into a sensory explosion.
No, the air smelt of summer
And huddled in my coat and scarf
Feet crunching on leftover snow
I longed for summer and her lazy warmth
So I breathed in deeply
And then hurried on in
As not to shatter my
Thoughts of summer
A perfectly good daydream.

I feel like an unfinished painting
A portrait of a woman
The figure without a name.
I am always
A nearly masterpiece,
The unfinished sequel to
An artist's best work.
Critics will consider
My half shaded eyes
And sheer, lifeless hair
From too little paint strokes
Or careful pressure of a pencil
A pity.
They will declare that I
Could have been a showpiece
And won awards
Maybe they will ask
Why I was never completed
But know not to push the matter
As not to upset the artist.
Instead I am shut up in an attic
A dustsheet hiding me from view
Maybe I have become
Damaged from exposure
To sunlight and damp.
Maybe I have been forgotten
As an unfinished, abandoned project
A mark of shame
For the genius
Whose other works
Were a roaring success.

When I was small
You seemed to be a character
Straight from the pages
Of the storybooks
You would read to me at bedtime.
An unappreciated genius
Tall and strong enough
To make me fly like an aeroplane.

When you came in from work tired
I would tiptoe past the sleeping giant
And you would pull me in for a hug
Warm and safe.
When it was my turn to be tired
I would ride on your shoulders
Pretend I was as tall as you
And let you join in my adventures
Through fairytale lands.

You were the patient one,
As I struggled over the maths problems
My dreamer brain
Could never seem to understand
But was another thing you
Were good at.
You would amaze at my
Appetite for books
And encourage me
To keep my head in the clouds.
Now I see that we are more alike
Than I would have ever forseen
Despite the differences
I used to think were mountainous.

I think of you with every song I play
And know you're thinking of me
As you do the same.
Although I've grown too much
To still ride on your shoulders
You've remained a part of my adventures
As we instead walk side by side.
Even now, I still see you
As an unappreciated genius
And my safety net
The strong, sleeping giant
With the gentlest heart I know.