I want to be sturdy.

Sturdy enough for you to lean on me

Without the fear of falling.



I have always struggled

Struggled to find the right words

to tell you what I feel about you.



I want you to know

Know that I’m not afraid

Of hitting the rock bottom anymore.



I was born

Born in the womb that you blossomed

And I’ve tasted your blood long before I’ve known you.



You are the fire

Fire under my wings

That urges me to fly.



I want to be that dream

Dream that you’ve always seen for me

Or maybe better than that dream.



As a human,

I want to be majestic.

And as my father,

I want you to be proud.

i.
you're lazy
and no one knows why
but there is still no one else
who can make me
laugh as hard
as you do

ii.
we met on accident
and you proved the unimaginable for me
oh what i wouldn't do to save you

iii.
i've never cried for a friend
as much as i have for you
you are so lovely
and i wish you were still here

iv.
i think you're the first typical best friend
i've ever had
everything
will be an adventure with you

v.
i once said
you put me in a phase
and you still do
thank you
for letting me think that you care

vi.
i love all your musical similes and metaphors
you're the only one i know who does that
you are really such a beautiful person
please don't ever change

vii.
we don't really talk as much
but you'll never know how happy it makes me
when you still get excited when we meet
i really hope you're doing okay

viii.
you really crack me up
when you tell me your future plans
about being a stripper
you are so much better than you think you are

ix.
you are so far away
but im still looking forward to the day
you open that restaurant
and watching criminal minds with you

x.
i don't really consider you a friend
but thanks anyway

xi.
i'll never forget when you just sat with me
in the middle of the quad
with my ice cream
and we talked and laughed about nothing
and everyone was looking at us
because there were empty tables around us
but we sat on the floor instead

xii.
i saved you for last
because i honestly don't know what to say
other than
you mean everything
your head isn't in the right place
but then again thats just me
because i think so highly of you

You ease the creak that emanates from each joint
on my ivory clothed body
this pain, this life
you take the edge off of this steady aiming knife.
Blades dull & hands weak, we will draw no blood tonight;
no molly wrapped in old receipts or someone
fixing my yayo lines.  
I face today
through the haze
of all the years & tears
spent wasted
on all your lies
of yesterday