She lends her pen,
to thoughts of him,
that flow from it,
in her solitary.

For she is his poet,
And he is her poetry.*

-Lang Leav

And even though things have changed between us,
The love we once felt doesn't fade.
that love, that knowledge... that doesn't go away.
I wish I could unknow every curve of your face,
and every word you half speak then change your mind.
It would be easier if it did go away,
if I could hate you.
Maybe if we had fought more,
if there were hateful words you had said that I could recall in perfect clarity --
ugly words that I could throw at my reflection when I stood in front of the mirror.
See, it's probably my fault you didn't love me enough.
whenever I look at my reflection I wonder what was so wrong with me,
that our relationship fell apart.
That doesn't make it easier to forgive myself.
It might be easier if my heart didn't skip a beat every time I hear your name.

BUT, how many of us can say we did something ******* up for a love that didn't work out?
That we uprooted ourselves and turned into someone else.
I jumped and fell freely and ended up at rock bottom.
But I'm digging my way out one sad movie at a time.
Digging while my eyes sting with tears,
as my hands bleed,
as my clothes tear away.
And I'm trying really hard to not be embarrassed about failing.
It doesn't always work out, I knew that.
That didn't stop my heart from beating to the thuds of hope.
If only you were the one.
If only I could have been what you wanted and compromised some more.

Each time we break up I want to crawl into bed and never get out.
I analyze each part of me,
wondering what didn't fit into a part of you, why it couldn't fit.
I know it couldn't fit into a part of anyone else.
I think about my life,
berating myself at the bad choices.
I wonder if I was wrong -- maybe we weren't so bad?
Maybe that was as good as it gets?
Maybe I asked for too much?
Maybe I'm too idealistic and too crazy and I need to be more realistic and grab a hold of a man that will do.

But no,
I want a man that wants to make me happy.
A man that knows am everything he needs and isn't afraid.
I want you to be ready for me.
Don't run cause we always end up right here.
I want you.
Just you.
It's always only been you.

*******! I hate you!

She screams inside her head

as she's rolled over away from the demon in her bed

She can't remember how she ever loved him so much

Now her skin crawls at his slightest touch

She can take no more

She's so upset

She can cry  no more tears because she has none left

She quietly slips off their marriage bed and tiptoes
down the stairs

She looks for the gun in her locked box and finds it there

She puts a bottle of gas and matches in her pocket

The  box is rehidden after she locks it

She ascends the stairs and enters the room

The pistol discharges with aloud boom

Blood soaks the pillow

He's still and dead

She unloads another round into his head
He's  ****** and lifeless

But she's not done yet

She's gonna burn this demon till there's nothing
left

A lit match ignites his corpse from his head to his feet

She covers her eyes and stands back from the heat

She stares at the charred mess that she used
to call her man

Then she raises the pistol still in her left hand

Her greatest love has become her greatest hate

She closes her eyes

Pulls the trigger...

And escapes

i have not seen you today-
nor yesterday-
nor the day before that-
and so on.
i have not seen you in several days and
yet i can not stop thinking about your voice.
i hear you in books
and the way the rain falls on my lips
and with every step i take through a puddle--
i hear your muddled voice praying through the hot summer
for me to stay alive just one more day.

you did not know wether i would stay or if i would go.
but, if i were to tell you that i only stayed for you,
would you have loved me back in time?

maybe all of those prayers were wishes
and those wishes were thoughts
and those thoughts were nothing.

So..

Ive been thinking about you a lot lately.
At this point in time, i should probably be studying *Mathematics
But instead, I'm looking to add us two together
Because it wouldn't be nearly as complicated as long division
To subtract all the zeroes in my life
Until its just you and I as a final product.
The only thing I really got out of calculus
Was that a great relationship could be our derivative.
I think the function for Y
This is happening is because
You have made
an X-ceptional difference
In my life;
Your beauty's limits are just imaginary numbers.

But -
I think I should review my English notes,
Because, I swear- We're just like Romeo and Juliet!
... minus the whole killing ourselves thing,
There aren't enough words in any dictionary
To completely envelop the feelings I have that make me so wary,
Now that you've torn down my walls, I hate being vulnerable,
You've gotten so close, so fast -
i can almost feel you hugging my soul.

Pero, uhh, donde esta mi libro de Espanol?
Porque
hay una mujer que domina mis sentidos con solo tocar mi piel,
y solo por un beso con ella soy feliz.

But in all seriousness.
The Chemistry we have is undeniable.
You take away all the oxygen in the room
When you get my blood boiling
And stomach toiling
when our eyes lock;
A limitless amount of reactions are unfolding
With you being my catalyst for my heart beating
Every time our hands are meeting.

Its now 5th period, Psychology,
When we kiss, its visualized neurology
Because my lips still tingle when you allow me
To go clinically crazy,
I'm only left to plead insanity
After our physiological fallacy.

Or maybe i should crack open my History textbook,
Because all I ever hear about
Is how Benjamin Franklin was a ****,
And that crazy chick from 300 stabbed her love affair,
Or, quite simply,
How nothing good ever lasts.
Well, I don't know why I'm even in school anymore,
Because I feel like you and I reversed millenniums
Of misguided relationships,
Because with finger locked,
We ran through Berlin Walls that said
High school romance was stupid,
And practically caused World War 3
When so many jealous lovers realized
That the only weapon of mass destruction
Is the undeniable army of two that we have become.
I'd say
We're a bit closer
To that old couple from The Notebook!
..wait..
they die too.

So the last bell has rung,
You made me late to every class,
But if my homework was just to love you,
**There'd be no doubt that I'd pass.

Love is when you can tell a person anything without being afraid. Love is when you stay up late and have long deep talks. Love is how you share with the other person. Love is when you cant imagine that person leaving you, and if they do you feel as if tomorrow is so far away. Love is when you're around the other person and you feel safe. Love can be so many things. Love is special. Love is when you have a rough day and they come and pick you up. These things can be so hard to find. But if you do, don't ever let that person walk through a door and never come back. Love is so rare. To have love is something magical. Never let it slip through your hands.

And somehow
i will strip myself of you
i will remove your name
from my lips
i will no longer speak your name
i will remove your name
from my heart
i will have no attachments to you
and it might take a while
because it's been a long time
but somehow
i
will rid myself of you
but i'm not saying that when someone else speaks your name
i won't still smile
or if i see you around i won't say hi
but i'm stripping myself of you
no longer will i be the one to try
i'm stripping myself of
you

Are you happy that you've made me unhappy
talking about your bad days
and scars from them?
About how you could have
but you didn't and wish you did.
And I'm one of the reasons
I don't listen I just carry
the burden of being the only one who knows you're lost.
Your life is not bad through this orange looking glass
and you're just a sad and lonely kid
who refuses to be called emo.
Do you need words, or a hug, or what?
Because no matter how much you want to think
you can't be helped or fixed,
I was.