I woke up this morning
to find my wallet torn apart
I knew I didn't do it
I thought of you right from the start

You said I must have dropped it
You picked it up from where it lay
I knew I didn't do it
I don't believe the things you say

You're only lying when you're talking
OK,  you lie some when you sleep
I know you're lying when your thinking
The truth is gone and buried deep
I can't believe the things you tell me
Behind a smile, forced and fake
You're only lying when you're talking
You lie just for lyings sake

You hide your cell phone,
clear the calls made
You tell me it's to conserve space
But, I  don't believe it when you tell me
I can not look into your face

You're hiding things and do not tell me
You live a life that I'm not in
You lie to me when I come and ask you
In fact your lies are getting thin

You're only lying when you're talking
OK you lie some when you sleep
I know you're lying when your thinking
The truth is gone and buried deep
I can't believe the things you tell me
Behind a smile, forced and fake
You're only lying when you're talking
You lie just  for lyings sake

You always shower before you see me
I know it's just to wash him off
And when I ask how you got *****
You cannot say, and hide a cough

I smell him when I walk beside you
I do not smoke and nor do you
but I can smell it in your clothing
It's in your hair, all through and through

You're only lying when you're talking
OK you lie some when you sleep
I know you're lying when your thinking
The truth is gone and buried deep
I can't believe the things you tell me
Behind a smile, forced and fake
You're only lying when you're talking
You lie just for lyings sake

I cannot tell you you're a liar
It's not worth my time to start a fight
You're in a lose lose situation
You've tied your noose, and it's **** tight

You're not worth my time and effort
I used to love you, but no more
I can't believe you when you tell me
I love you...so here's the door

You're only lying when you're talking
OK you lie some when you sleep
I know you're lying when your thinking
The truth is gone and buried deep
I can't believe the things you tell me
Behind a smile, forced and fake
You're only lying when you're talking
and that's the truth, it hurts to take

I tire
Of the perfect:
Of the flawless,
The azure,
The quiet,
The pastoral.
I tire of sunsets
And of flowers
I tire of perfect skin
And perfect lungs
I tire of politeness
And I tire of patience.

I am bored
by golden sunrays,
Reflected brightly
from golden hair
Trailing behind a sundress
Weaving, careless,
through golden wheat.
I no longer want to be her.

I tire of fluffy pillows
And warm blankets.
I am bored of hot tea
And of books about things
That are not real,
Only beautiful figments of the mind,
Only as real as the pages, the cover,
Only as real as we can pretend them to be -
And I am bored of pretending.

I am bored with cities
And with mountains
And with fields
And rivers
And the ocean.
I grow impatient with the trees
And the clouds
And the birds.


I am bored by the beautiful.
Because beautiful is beautiful, so,
But it is only beautiful.
And Beauty, though held fast,
Esteemed above all other qualities
Sought tirelessly
Worshipped and envied
Revered, praised
Beauty is only beauty.
It is not deserved.
It is not earned.
It cannot speak, it cannot give
It cannot love.
Beauty is nothing.
Beauty is boring.
I am bored by beauty.
I do not seek what is beautiful.
I will never be beautiful.
But that is a very small thing
To never be.
I can be far, far more
Than beautiful.

I can be real.
You are real.
And I am real.
And us, we
We are real.
What we are
What we have
Is real.
I am not yet tired
Of you.

And I will never be tired
of us.

Suncatcher.
Looking straight past your actions, I find your intentions. I read them in dark pupils like Webster’s definitions. Despite glass eyes staring as you let me go, your iron curtain countenance was a stained glass window. I see your thoughts cross your mind like I might see tired old man crossing his living room, just before he draws the curtains in the evening. I watched through painted panes as you held yourself still, watched through unblinking windows as you fought your own will. And so I walked to my car, in the dark, alone, breathing clouds of grey vapor in the direction of home. And you stood across the street in the amber street lights that attract the moths whose wing beats my heart finds rhythm with as it flutters from rib to lung to throat, never holding still for fear of permanence. You thought you’d gotten your heart off your sleeves but it will always be a sun catcher, hanging from fishing line, casting cold colored shadows on the actions of a nervous mind, once thought invisible, the windows you hide behind let in just enough light for me see what I knew I’d find.
Honey, I can read your smoke signals.

Things are winding down now,
I can see it clearly
I never meant to be like this
It's not who I am, not really.
You told me so many things
That I now see as lies,
But when I try to tell you
You just desensitize.
I'm somehow really good at
Messing everything up,
But I always try to be a good person
Even though I should just shut up.