I sit at my window pen in hand
staring at blank pages, willing them to speak, to whisper something of my frustration and shatter the silence within.
I curse the ink that blackens my fingers as it flows without ebb, skillfully scratching out the mundane, the lists, the cards, the endless to do's, only to  become as mute as my friendless tongue when feelings threaten escape.
I struggle to contain all that I feel, all the loathing of all that I know and all that I am within this small form. The threat of drowning a reality and sometime solace.
Emotion unknown chokes my soul as fear cages my heart within it's cold clenching.
This art was my voice, my passage to sanity. Now ticking clocks and glowing paper mock my troubled mind.

While I wonder at the point of it all.

If I can unwind
the strings of your heart
and pull them until
your heart pulls apart
and looks like a nest
blown down from a tree
then I will say yes
if you still want to be.  x

There is nothing to fear in the darkness
There is nothing to fear from the dead
This evening these words are my mantra
As I climb up the stairs to my bed.

I wont spend the night jumping at shadows,
that floorboard just creaked cause its old.
That wasn’t a sigh in the darkness
belonging to long tortured souls.

Im sure I just saw someone moving,
something lurks over there in the gloom,
just waiting for me to get sleepy
before dragging me back to its tomb.

Was that just a noise from the closet?
Or was it from under the bed?
Im pretty sure it was a monster!
Or maybe its all in my head.

Now a grown up should really know better
and I chastise myself with much scorn
still, I'll bury my head 'neath the covers
and refuse to peep out until dawn.

Lock eyes with Medusa and burn my flirtatious look in her mind
as my being turns into stone.
Fill her heart with regret, for she will never know love
nor can she look someone straight in the eyes
and witness a soul.
I'll die contempt forever being able to bring harm
to such a hideous creature.
I'll die relieved as my shoulders crumble
and the world that I am carrying comes
crashing down mercilessly.
I'll die happy, forever relieved to be buried
under my own world.
I'll die a stone, finally becoming one with my world
being physically closer to those I love.
I'll die a world, becoming part of it
I'll wait for someone stronger to carry me.