i'm not messy
i'm just messed up
my room's floor is clean
but i got ***** laundry in every corner of my room
bed's not made
sheets clean
and i like it messy
i feel at home in chaos
i feel safer in mess
but i'm not messy
i'm just messed up.

mercury
made so pretty
lighting up my every morning
you get me mad
you make me happy
but you don't wanna be with me

mercury
so smily
so shimmy
you've brought me back
you've pushed me back in
shining so bright
carried me through the dark
there you left me

mercury
i still love you mercury
but i don't want to be with you
unless you come back for me
i don't think i like you anymore

mercury
making me teary
after all i did to charm you
but still you leave
back close to the sun god

mercury
just let me be
just let ms be now

hey darling
even after all these years
i find it strange that i remember you
but how can one forget a fairy tale

my angel
though human, you still come and go
delivering your message of broken love
till next time, bye bye???

yet i still revere you
my angel
my morning star

yours truly,
mercury

is there a problem
is there a problem with my midnight lights being on

i am scared of the dark
that's why i need them

i love the dark
that's why i write out my demon's speech

but i need the lights on
so i can write down my dark soul on paper

in the midnight dark, i need my lights
so i can write down what is on the inside

in my dark inside, i scribe
with my dark pen, and coffee by my side

i'm sorry i need my midnight lights on
i am terrified of the dark

have not yet found out who i am
who i wanna be
all i know is am not ready
to take responsibility of my actions
and the pressure
the expectation
to have everything under control
is depressing

I took the road to the mountains
Just wanted to be alone
Yes, we live in the highlands
Never afraid of wolves and porcupines

"Hello, you there"
"I need some ****"
The pain I could feel creep into me
I need this smoke real fast

With my bike
That I pushed instead
I prayed it could get foggy
Mummy and daddy use it to their advantage anyway
To hide scars
To fight each other and call names

Yes, this trip was to get away from the world
But before I could, I had one more thing to remind myself
How it felt to be high
High up here
High on everything, that's awful

Snatched my last pinch of white powder
And thought of everyone's betrayal and wonder
When they found out that I had been a pretence all this time
That I was never the boy they admired
Just a ****** up boy
Who used women
Who had to run from home
Who used to live in his car

It was not my fault, was it?
I never wanted this
I lost the girl that I love
And papa killed mama
But who cares anyway

Smoke through my nostrils
And white patches of the powder around my lips
Reminded me how much more the world hated me
I know you can't understand
Coz you were different at age 23
Or you will be better by the tree

Don't cry, coz friends never looked at me that way.
Just bury me once I'm done looking at the orange sunset
Once I'm done with this blunt

Mercury
Every morning I would think of you
Every night I hated to see you leave
Wish I kissed you

Three months I waited
Now I hate it that you probably found another
I knew you were the best of me
Now I don't even love Christmas

I feel wasted
Roses and cigarettes as I think of all the times
All the times I could be there for you
Hating myself for not being patient enough

Romeo and Juliet
I said couldn't understand the way of this emotion
Now I understand why
Why they could die for me and you

I'm sorry
Please don't leave
You carry the light
Morning star

I was a fool to say I couldn't wait any more
But I need to know
Please tell me
Do you still love me?

Or was the gold worth nothing to reflect on?
I still love you Mercury.