I hate to say it....
But
I'm cutting ties with you,
My muse.

I have a few options:
A. Nothing
B. Everything
C. Give up
D. Accept I can't do it and get help

I don't know....
Help??

I still want us to be friends,
I want to have that connection,
We've come so far.
But you don't ******* care anymore..
I'm sorry.

What do yo do when someone you love,
has a knife to their wrist????????

At the age of 16,
I am a mother.
Now they are not own kids.
I didn't give birth to them.
But I am their mother.

They are those I take under my wing.
Those to who I give love unconditionally.
Those who I hold while they cry.
They are my kids.

I am not talking about me, mind you
She is his, I am not

She said that he's in love with her
But the real question is if she is as well.

He has never acknowledged me
Given me any physical touch

Yet it looks as if I may love him.
How is that I possible I don't know

And honestly I hate her.
She doesn't see the big picture-
She's looking through rose colored glasses

And he, well he knows how I feel
Yet says nothing, absolutely nothing.

*And I hate him for that

If you showed up now..
I don't think I'd be able to face you.

That imprint you left,
On my soul, heart and mind.

Has actually grown larger,
since you've been gone.

*Can you tell?

It's sad that my parents don't know me at all.
Like nope, my teachers probably know more my parents do.
It's really sad.

I have to get rid of my comfort zone
To stop being afraid.
To step out of thus box that I've built around me.
And I know I'll cry and I'll be crushed.
But I have to.
I have to.

He tips his hat toward her
And she dances around him

Not knowing who will speak first
He doesn't say anything,
Simply follows her around with his eyes

Does she know how he feels?
The raw passion in his eyes is evident
Yet she avoids looking in them.

She notices the tall dark stranger
Not knowing how their lives would be impacted.
If they would be- she knew not.

Then, accidentally she bumps in to him
His hands reach out
And keep her from falling...

She glances up and takes a sharp breath in
His eyes searched her soul.
Looking deep within her.

He felt warmth and electricity shoot up his arms
As he held her closer still
He knew it would all fit together.

He looked toward her lips
And felt her notice that he did
He lowered his mouth down on hers...

*She woke up with a start
   Who was that stranger?
   Was it fictional or real?
   She might never know

How much pain can one person bear?
All by themselves...

I'm tired of putting my heart on the line when all I get is pain.
But I know that I will continue to love anyways.

I am alone
I am alone
I am alone
I am alone

Questions.
One after another.
They are all I seem to be thinking these days.
Questions

How long did you know?
Was anyone going to tell me?

It was a miracle that I found out in the first place
Did he think I would be mad?
Take drastic measures to get even?
He really doesn't know me that well
How many other people knew?
Perhaps everyone but me.
I don't know-
I  simply don't know anymore

Why are the broken people,
                      The ones I love the most?

I told myself that I shouldn't
That I can't
That I won't

Yet I ended up doing it anyway..
I fell from cloud nine

*And I fell hard

So My friend is fine.
He is fine. I talked to him almost all of last night..
Thanks for listening.

It hurts when the people closest to you,
Don't even care.
*Thanks Mom and Dad

I'm done.
I can't deal with the
Stress,
Drama,
Life.
Any longer.

I'm done.

I dreamt about you last night.
Oh, how is it possible for you to haunt me even now?

*And why does it seem like I want you too?

Why can't they just leave me alone?!?!?!?!?

I want to feel you.
All of you.
I want to touch you.
I want to kiss you.
I want to.
I want to..

I am
Free

I can
Breathe

I no
Longer
Have to
Worry

I am
No longer
AFRAID

*still deciding if that's good
Or bad

Step one.
Breathe
Step two.
Smile.
Step three.
Cry.

Breathe

I
  Have
   This
    Sinking
      Feeling
        In the
         Pit of
           My
              Stomach...
        No  
          Idea
             Why.

You keep telling me that I'm not the only one.
But you don't cry yourself to sleep.
Or cry because you get frustrated with yourself.
You don't care about what people think.
Or care as much as I do for others.
I am the only one.
I'm the only me there is.

What do you see in me?
When I smile?
When I cry?

What do you hear?
When I scream?
When I whisper?
When I don't say anything at all?

What do you admire?
When I'm talking about my passion?
When I'm singing?

What do you see in me?
*What do I see in me?

I've been talking to you for more than  30 min.
You still don't get it.
I'm bad with words..
Especially about myself.

Do you know how much I want to kiss you?
To hold your hand?
To have you love me?

No, you don't.
Of course not.
Why would you?

I can't this.
I can't that.
That's all I've been saying.
Can't you hear me?

So I've found out that I was really the one avoiding you.
You really didn't do anything.
And now that I've started being more open with you- our relationship picked back up...
Thanks.

I texted you....
Shame on me.

I am breaking.
And it's my own **** fault.
I wish I could take it back,
To go back to the way we were..
But I doubt that will happen again.

I love you too much to let you go.
Please don't let me go...

Do you ever have something in your grasp,
Something good
Something that makes you happy
Then the world cracks apart and you feel like you’ve lost it??
Maybe forever?
I hope not.

Hey all of my friends at hellopoetry...
Sorry I haven't written in  while
Been real busy...

I am broken.. what now?
I don't think I can rebuild myself....

I give and give and give.
And what do I get in return?

Absolutely nothing.
I guess I'm not important...
Thanks for that vote of confidence

**I hate being walked apon

I'm sorry that I love you..
Just don't hurt my heart because You can't give it back.

I realize I haven't written in a while....
I'm sorry.

I am invisible.
I don't mind.
Really.
You'll see me one day.

I am frustrated with myself.
Mainly because I know I can do so much better than what I am.
But there's always fear that holds me back.
Fear of messing up,
Of disappointment.
Of letting people down.
Of failing.
I can't let that happen.
I won't let that happen.

Love
Is
Forever
Eternal.