I feel like I continuously go through a cycle where I finally meet someone who makes me happy and then I begin doubting everything and insecurities creep into my head..
I can't breath and every little thing bugs me. I retreat back with in my head and it freaks people out.
If only, I could tell my heart to remain guarded all the time. I don't want to be like this, but every time, I get hurt. And I don't even have a reason to be. Its all in my head..

So, I learned today that I minimize my own pain and hurt for someone else's
Not to belittle myself, but to be more compassionate of the other person
And that little tidbit of info, really changed my perspective of a lot of things..

Why does everything seem to happen right at the beginning of something?
Although I suppose that you cant have a beginning of a book, without something happening, or at the beginning of a new chapter.
I just wish sometimes things would slow down, or just stop all together.
Second semester hasn't really even started and I've already had my absolute worst day ever..
But things are semi looking up, I think.

It's been so long since I've been home,
I can't wait to go back.
College is great, but there is something about home;
That keeps calling me back.

I can tell you how beautiful my roommates look when they don't even try.
I can tell you all the colors of the sunset and how tragically beautiful the bare trees look.
I can tell you how silky his voice is to my ears,
I can show you the best things in music and nature.
I can show you all the amazing parts of people's souls.
But what I can't do, is tell you of the scars that I have.
I can't tell every story of how I got each blemish on my skin.
I can't tell you what I love most about myself, but I could tell you everything I hate about myself.
I can't look at myself in the mirror for more than 2 seconds.
I don't see all those beautiful things in myself.
I just can't.

I've been told that I care too much.
And this is actually true.
My heart is too big,
Too open,
Too willing to simply give.
That I need to pull back some,
I come off too strong.

Its very hard for me to hate someone,
It's just something that I do.
You can hurt me,
Way down in my core,
Emotionally, Physically, Mentally
But You will still have part of my heart.

Some people say that this isn't good,
that its a curse.
How so?
I love people,
Yes, maybe more than I should.
But do people complain about loving too much?
Shouldn’t we be more concerned about those that aren’t loved enough?
Those that go through life broken, and damaged?

I am simply one person,
Who cares.
A lot for the people around me.
Strangers, people I’ve only met briefly,
Friends since birth, and yes,
Even you.