My mind a changing room, revolving ideas of beauty and mistake
Or perhaps a camera with too much to capture
Shuttering to think of life as a liquid
For as long as one can recall it’s been a real gas
But the influences are many, they are vexing
Meddlesome technology and Infernal desires
From beneath the compounding cacophony
of a pretense most alleviating and comforting
Cries a little voice heard only by angels
Pitched by a man trying to find his mother,
whose healing hands built the basements
beneath the Great Ziggurat, left to be found later,
indeterminate and perplexing during survey
but in truth was never really known.
A collection of grainy photos connected by string
on a wall in a quiet corner of a lonely home
seeking to make sense
of what was sorted out by Siddhartha some time ago
in the jungle beside himself, within the veil
of casual decay and serious growth.

It lives in my chest,
this ancient feeling

The hum in my throat

And the way that you wrote
My name next to yours

Means a lifetime of going,
can turn into slowing
And the difference is showing,
between hoping and knowing,
between dying and growing

Written before by
old ghosts in robes
They knew what it was
it drew them up to the clouds

It came to me one night
and I too took flight

the sun marks my neck in mysterious ways
as I rummage through the garden for a snack
I'm off the clock from a job that pays
and there's a cool breeze gliding off my back

my boy's still learning to say "I love you, too"
I hadn't considered I'd be a father, before him
he hopefully does all the things I can't do
like save lives or perhaps learn how to swim

there's a coming sunset to such a perfect day
where out there are those lost in a pitch twilight
those who don't have, so folks like me can say
there's no wasted moment until the coming night

lead me on my way,
Great Vision in the grey,
I do not ponder on wasted time
I do not wander, I do not stay

I get by on my hedon wage
my story fits on one page
I am not burdened by freedom
release me from this cage

wise, the living tree
it catches wind with ease
meanwhile I'm in the clouds
by just the slightest breeze

The mountains found me
And it didn't feel like I was far from home
It felt like I was where I should be

They showed me a world where she exists
Led me to know who she is
And she shared that world with me

Now she's in my world
And it doesn't feel like I'm scared to die, or to live
It feels like home

Happiness is an errant feather lost to the breeze

Only by the influences of the world will it occupy your sky

Yet only if you look up will you discover it waiting for you

those feelings that cannot be found but only traced
remembered from a day long passed
or perhaps borrowed from some moment unlived
it was only a glimpse and now lays upon the breeze,
a memory of a memory
you harken back to this lose thread in your head
and your body blooms from head to toe
in some magnificent shiver
your glimpse behind the curtain
additional living,
more than you,
for only a moment

oh, the mountains and rivers are without end
and we are ever-moving towards that warm wood fire

with you by my side i can release and send
my body, my mind, my soul; can you take me higher?

darkness release me
and i stir to life
animated bones led by
determined muscles and
frightened nerves
bound by the soul inside
who views from his seat
out of a lidded porthole view
wondering things like why
where does he go
when will he die
and how should be feel

what do you feel
doing what you do
doing what you can
unaware of my plan

what do you feel
that makes you smile at day
makes you sleep at night
makes you feel all right

is it for you as it is me
is your bubble about to burst
do we own what we steal
what do you feel

am i normal and okay
shrouded are my lamps
which guides my wheel
what do you feel

lines of her face and of his too
the thoughts and the memories coming together
like old friends convening
concerning themselves with what provenance
what provenance drew them all together

its time i show you that i remember you
so i made these lines, my friends
my friends do you remember me

little bird in a nest
found the worm momma left
tried to fly and did its best
wasn't strong nor was it deft

oh my winter caught me early
and left me frozen on the floor

these cold days were unending
until at last i could be sure

that some way through time
I'd have no way to rewind

and fall in love with you again

just another lesson
some specter of a dream
a glimpse into unstirred waters
my castle on the beach

i am haunted by this ghost of you
treading waters once swam for you
holding up walls blown by the wind that carried you

feeling minimal
feeling's mutual
here in spirit
hearing subliminal
calling to me
call in the night
cry out for me
cry out for me

my beard is now full
and my heart is now empty
never been like this

arms broke the water
waves in the ocean
the son and the daughter
and perpetual motion
crept in as bubbles of air
up my cheeks like a fever
kisses on stubbles of hair
i almost didnt believe her

the art of navigating a nose
in the middle of a kiss
after faces collide
before eyes open

stars take shape in your eyes
as i remember all those times

that we would lay in rooms apart
dreaming of the home we'd start

less frequent we would share
a room, a meal, but no despair

linking minds and lacing hands
starting plans on salt and sand

the days turned cold when you left
the skies above grew dark and wept

no warning as leaves turned brown
that this would never be your town

i froze and thawed, in my bed
awoken, raw and full of dread

now i wait for the sun to rise
as the stars all fell from your eyes

these reflections i see
one is of you and of me
i am led to them on my path
my fixed gaze of love and wrath
all seen in the puddles by my feet
they're drying up just as we meet
it all leads to these couplets i write
and mindless whispers in the night

your love, sent to me five months past may
one day, you decided that you were renewed
your will took my colors and made them gray
people found in spaces not mine
lovers made out of shadows you stole
what do i do
with all the mistakes you made

i get *******
my brain gets tangled
i dive head first
my heart gets strangled

the cold tuesday
flowers id have to save
i begged you to not go
i asked you to stay

i found the sun in your heart
and saw the moon in your eyes
felt the waves crashing in your mind
i felt the storm beginning to start

now theres
theres flowers in the freezer
im waiting to thaw them for you
im waiting

i felt incomplete
not knowing you
not knowing
where to find you
now i feel
incomplete
because now i know
exactly where you are
and it isn't here

i dashed through a field of poppies
only to fall asleep in your arms
i awoke to the whispering flowers
they told me where you'd gone
i asked if you'd return someday
they said "she isn't far"
and though i could see you
fields away playing merrily
i could not reach you
for you had been made new

excuse me it's all a little new
to hold open the door for you
open up the shades for you
carve a little space for you

so is your chapstick made of glue?
it feels like it when i kiss you
and all those love songs true
and my heart brand new

rush of love
tonic of spirit
and liberating soul
incense my heart
my unbound chains
you break my chains

you take the wheel
and i am scared
my lack of control
my shaking hands
help to steady me
please

holding on
my cliffside
rootvine
& intertwined
trembly hands,
white knuckles,
big plans
between breezes
& among honeysuckles

my clock slowed down
i watched it tick away
thinking of you being near
while you are someplace far away

when the dust all had settled
from sunrise you appeared
a memory from my past
a net of emotions finally released
they suspended my disbelief
my endless days of thinking
ended in one humid evening
this reunion like a blade's oven
the iron forge alit once more
and you grabbed my face
and brought it to yours
i
i

i smiled and held my breathe
cried like you had come back from the dead
until sooty ash was all that remained
until the fire dulled its searing heat
and became a weak fading ember
from my bed of flame i was ******
the bite of the atmosphere returned
as i took my next breath
quenched before the steam and hiss
tempered by my disappointments
and this endless summer of burning desire
ended one cool night
this reunion

things i found
things i bought
trinkets bound
with feelings i caught

keys from a car that hit a tree
name tags that all bear my name
a token of Love i got for free
a token from my favorite game

in my mind i am justified
perhaps a little too surely
that from my island's raging tide
these trinkets anchor me securely

vacant eyes in the dark
screaming cries at the park
dogs running into shadows
and never returning
the treeline flies up
the cold grass licks you

small and nameless, Kronos summons
one such Titan who's born to fate,
to numbered days until fully grown,
to lashes of satin and of stone.
sailing songs into the breeze
lost in skies of hum and tease
failing to see what it all meant
among all the hollow remnants,
of broken kings and pauper wings,
of vacancy and necromancy
our "once we were" and "as we will"
come soothingly upwards into a chill
and we can fight and disagree
until our suns resign and our spirits free,
The Fall creeping, meek and shy
Or when we're ready, after the Fly

For you I'll be down to earth
For me you'll be in the sky
I'll show you what we're worth
And you can teach me how to fly

Wildflower
I found you in the desert
And in the murky gulch
Through the trees
And in between
The mountains' ivory clutch

Wildflower
I've put you in my home
And my faucet is the draught
With which you drink
Like river stream
And early morning trout

Wildflower
I have made a mistake
You grow on hills
Where we don't stay
But in my house
What saves now kills

Wildflower
I let you go

Your absence has gone through me Like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color.' -W.S Mervin, Separation.

When I look at you and see your face
split from mine by some hands of grace

Those sultry eyes cast from the dawn
Do they wonder where I have gone

And in my palm is space and shadow
And in my heart is grief and sorrow

Once eclipsed by your olive shade
I wander the world lost and afraid

In a different place I hope to find you
In a different face, and a different virtue

tremble
shaking fingers
I disassemble
the visions linger
I've found a way
to live forever
it makes me stay
but I will never
Be what I said
Or what I sang her
So cold this bed
And cold my anger

I stepped outside the door and the threshold snagged my jean. The winter world looked lovely, the cold seemed so serene. The clouds preserved, in blanched waves, the times that I remember. A barren mess now fully dressed that makes me love December.

It isn't right that I'm so teased for just a month or two. But wait a year through hate and fear, I will again think well of you.

My face was once smooth
It's now an umber shadow
Traded home for beard

Scraping antlers on the tree
Dancing around each honey bee
Finding leaves have now gone dead
Or finding home without a bed