My brain is the craziest puzzle of all
I thought I had it all figured out.
Turns out I don’t,
Not even close.

I love every part of you
Every crevice, you are home
My eternal peace, what I need
I feel safe around you
Please don’t break my heart

I keep tearing myself down
In order to build you up
I’m breaking
Everything I am is falling apart
I can’t give you anymore
I’ve given you everything
There is no more of me left

I love the sound of your voice
It’s makes my little heart go thump thump
Somehow smoother then almond milk
Down my throat without a lump
They comfort me like the finest silk
The sweetest sound of every noise

My body glows
My mind wanders
But never into the garden of apples
For I know where I belong for now.
I could never leave..
My body glows where I am.

I **** you
You entered me
Eternal doom
With me forever

I’m at a point where everything hurts
I no longer have that one person to cry too
There too caught up in other things
That aren’t me
And that’s ok.. but soon enough
Just try and find me

With someone with no taste for good things
You surely will not suffice
For one with good taste they will as well
Do not expect diamonds from rotten apples
You will receive what you are given
Nothing less, most definitely nothing more.

Why can’t I escape this feeling
Of whatever it is... it’s so confusing.
Maybe that’s what it is, I’m lost.
I need someone to guide me
Through all the temptations
Of all my bad relations

I’m crying for help so silently no one can hear me.. yell for help through not words but thoughts . I’m lost in my own head .

No one told me it would be this hard
To wake up everyday
Unhappy with your reflection
To put on layers, even if it’s summer
Fake grin to cover the other
To look at yourself and cry.

My legs go down the stairs
Melting like butter
Easing my way down
Not what I wanted
It’s what I was given
I melt away till I no longer
See the bottom.

I want better
But I also want you. I want you to be better for me, but I know that you will not change. Not for me at least, no matter how hard I tell myself otherwise
But I can’t leave, it would hurt to much.
I don’t yet understand what I deserve
But I know it’s not this
My heart is too fragile to hear,
More mockery come from your mouth.
I’m lost for words,
You? Your words were honey turned to tar. Sweet at first but then very dark.
I don’t know how it came to this,
but I can’t partake in it.

I love you..
but I’m taking care of myself
I need to love myself before I can love you

I am worth something
I know that
But I don’t live like that
I like to be bruised and scratched
In the end it only makes me stronger

Out of all people I wanted you to understand
But out of all people your the one that made things harder for me
I looked to for relief
But instead you gave me fiery
I wrote this with tears in my eyes
Heartbroken and Misunderstood

No one keeps there word
Everyone disappoints
Nothing new
Nothing new

Everyone cares what everyone thinks
Your mind is yours and only yours
Who cares what they think
Things you can’t control
Will never be controlled
Come to peace with that
And maybe it’ll help

The right person will love all of you
Put the past where it belongs
But what you do now
Is what builds where you will stand
Throwing fire into fire only intensifies
So instead nurture and water

You get what you put in
So make it worth something

I miss the serenity and kindness
I was once given
Chaos and loudness surrounds me
It disappeared, like a cloud on a sunny day
Now the clouds are plentiful
And I see the sun visit me less

I was shown I am no one special
Not enough to make you stay..
Didn’t give you enough..
But it’s not like I even could of.
You wanted things I will never have
You broke. And now I am left broken
So Thankyou, for showing me the truth.

I want us to be perfect
But this isn’t the world we live in
You don’t get what you want
You play your cards
As best as you can
if you even can at all

Every time I open my heart
I remember why I closed it to begin with
Every time I fall a little harder
You laugh in my face and I run away
I run away so far, I forget about it all
But not the nasty words you say so
Aimlessly, no those, will never leave
I don’t want to regret letting you in,
Ive never been so vulnerable and open
Don’t be the reason why I cry,
Be the reason why I opened my heart again.
Be the reason why I’ll never go to such dark ends.

I’m feeling alone again
The little things that used to excite me
Now make me want to cringe
I laugh but really it’s a cry  
I feel nothing and I don’t know why.

I do it not to find happiness
But to enjoy the moment purely for what it is
Without the negatives
Only the positives.

I wish that was possible without you love
But I haven’t found that yet
I’m on a mission, to find
What makes me feel like you do .

Will I ever? Yes, there is always more
To be felt by you. I hope to pass it on to generations ahead . They deserve the pure feelings you give to the world.

Hey you know I love you
Sometimes I hate you
My mind craves you
Every aspect of you
I want more and more
Of you.