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you are inches
measured by miles away
bulldozing oriental food
you don't intend on eating
around your plate
and i am imagining
the translation of asking
for a broom in a foreign language
for when you shatter over small talk
or the first sentence to start with "so"
breaks you into shaking
that i can feel from across the table
and i am thinking now
about tectonics and how you must be daydreaming of being submerged in a book
back home or gripping tightly
to bedsheets begging for familiar warmth
i can tell by the way you are looking at me
that you are feigning our salutation embrace
seconds drowned in ankle deep water and i wonder if you see my hands
as jackhammers and if the reason
why you hug so hard
but only for a moment
is to be as sharp as possible
so that i do not smell your perfume
or notice that you aren't wearing any and why
there are few suprises
in the safe you claim is a mouth
where shades of plush pink
hide a sickly pallor
and i continue to look over
brick & mortar borders
and think how maybe
she is thinking of kissing
but certainly not me
not these apologies nailed to my face
i give myself a moment
of benefitted doubt that you sometimes
picture your frame under mine
and if your clavicles would crack
if i were to touch them
i am sorry that i am a victim of imagination
but i swear i chalk it up
as the forgotten feeling
for when you look up
and the person you are looking
at is gazing directly at you
you have painted yourself
as a mosaic in my mind
as a mess of dust & incoherent words
that all sound like please in my ears
but that doesn't explain why
my hands are the ones that are shaking
when i imagine you
imagining me
in the spaces of yourself
where you've forgotten
you could put someone
 Sep 2013 Kaila Wenker
Showman
First there is the prep.
The roommate.
Wearing salmon colored pants.  
He has Shaggy from ****** Doo
On his left thigh.
The alcoholic.
She has a drinking problem.
She is in denial of her drinking problem.
She hangs out with the loners.
The loners.
Unkempt, unattractive and fat in all the wrong places.
The blond looks like Tom Petty.
The one with dark hair, glasses and braces
They live next door.
Living together but segregated. 
Wild cards.
All of us.

©Gambit '13
I wish
I wish I could help
I wish I was able to heal your wounds
to kiss them all better
But I don't know how

I wish
I wish I could understand
I wish that somehow I could reach into those deep dark depths you keep so secret
and learn
But I am too ignorant

I wish
I wish I could do something
ANYTHING
To make this less
To lighten your burden

But, dear child
that is simply
a wish.
 Sep 2013 Kaila Wenker
goatgirl
you
 Sep 2013 Kaila Wenker
goatgirl
you
you are beautiful,
with your angular, square jaw (or was it more rounded, i don't remember, i don't want to)
with your warm bronze skin (or was it more mocha, i don't remember, i don't want to)
and your perpetually faultless disposition
(i could never find a crevice to wedge myself into)
and your hands are beautiful
for the way they strummed my body
(it sounded so good i didn't know you were tone deaf)
and your aura was so beautiful
when it mingled with mine
and the patterns were so beautiful
but they could never become one color,
mine was dark when yours was bright and the contrast
was blinding
(you were the first to gain back vision)
you were so beautiful. (to me)
(not anymore)
Up in the air
Birds hunger to peel us.
In the field we all wander
Cutting grass with our teeth  
It is survival.
Gums callused, and scabbed backs,
We have lived too long.
Steal the weeds before someone else,
and my back will scab.
Don't steal the weeds before someone else,
or I will starve.
I miss...
missing you
chasing you
wishing for you
to wish for me.

I miss...
excitedly telling you
who I am
and who I wish to be.

I miss...
not knowing
when I would see you
hold you
exhale your breath.

I love us now...
don't misunderstand...
but the anticipation
and the adventure
at times get over-powered
by the day.

I miss...
our breathless
creativity
and the almost violent need
to be close.
 Jun 2013 Kaila Wenker
NAR
She's Poetry,
in more ways than she herself knows.
Just a glance in my direction with those radiant eyes,
or even the mere sound of her voice escaping those lips of silk,
is enough to awaken the butterflies that have been at rest in my soul for what feels like an eternity,
with the intensity of a cyclone.

She's Poetry,
Moving like the smoke releasing from the lit end of my cigarette,
drifting softly wherever the wind may take her.
Her luminous smile alone
is enough of a spark to set my mind ablaze,
giving me the inspiration to write for days and days and days.

She's Poetry.
With just the slightest touch, all my pain instantaneously evaporates,
and my heart begins to melt away.
Sweet as the summer rain, she swims through the rivers of my brain,
and I'm still wondering if she feels the same.

Shes Poetry,
in more ways than she herself knows.
 Jun 2013 Kaila Wenker
Redshift
i'm tired.
come lie
with me

lying
gives you
rest
lying
lets you wake up
refreshed
i want to
lie
with you

let's
get in a tangle
the ancient dance
of lying together
as one

touch me
lie with me
next to me
slowly
as you lie with me
kiss me
i will let you

life has taught me
to only love
li
ars
liars are all there are.
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