Years ago when you said that forever didn't exist, I should have listened and realized that it was a warning sign.
I should have known that you were never interested in long lasting and that you were only interested in the easy ****.
I pretended that I didn't want what little girls dream about to make you happy.
When I felt the quickening in my belly, I wept.  
The tears that ran down my pale cheeks were not of joy, but of sheer pain  due to the truth you would later spit at me. No love.
It's a good thing our blood was not compatible. Biology can be a wonderful thing.

2 years were spent in the deep, the 4 years following were spent staring at one another, wondering where we had gone.
When you looked at me before the holiday and said that you had given up on me, even though my eyes were swollen red, relief had washed over my body.
I never told you that I finally felt like I could stop pretending.
I stopped.

You took the cat and ran like a scared little boy.
I miss the animal.

Do I regret the 6 years I spent mothering you?  No.  
You taught me what to look for in a real man and that is everything you were not.
It took me 3 weeks to realize that I was better.

So, I guess I should say "thank you" for the gift you gave me the day you left.
I appreciate it.

Happy one year break up, Baby!

Believing what they told her. Fat. Stupid. Slow. Being what they expected her to be. Just to escape the torment. Resorting to the sidekick position. The helpless follower. Never equal. Always to slow to be worth it. The fat kid in gym. The last one to finish the math problem. Blamed on dyslexia on big bones. Then it happened like a caterpillar her shape morphed became something that might be desireable. But by then her wings were riddled with the holes from past abuse. There was no confidence only anger and defensiveness on her horizon. In an attempt to salvage what was left of her she flew away to a place she thought was beautiful. A place she could start new, fresh. A place where she could hide the holes. But in the end winter came freezing her keeping her from moving while she was attacked over and over by new beasts who tore the holes open and gradually made them into bottomless pools of sorrow... When summer came she rested and patched over the holes to try again somewhere new... How does the story end? Thats up to you.

You were simply sunshine in its purest form, and I, simply a shadow, a place where your rays did not reach, a creeping silhouette that trailed after you and grabbed after your own ambitions in bitter hopes to understand you clearer, but to no avail. I knew you, but only because you refused to know me. I thought I understood your motivation in neglecting me after all those months of laughter, but I later understood that what had kindled within me was simply a burial ground for all of your past memories you'd wished to discard somewhere no one else would ever find. I knew you'd forget about me the second you forgot about them, and I was okay with it. I was okay with holding on to your burdens and your troubles and your sorrow if it meant you'd understand happiness for once in life (and even if I was not the one who gave it to you).