-Hello Mr. Blue!
How are you?
-I am fine,
And what about you?

When I was little,
I used to light fireworks
Now I find myself,
Lighting cigarettes
And I'm developing
All of these bad habits
Your tongue is in her mouth
And you take photos
Go away
Happiness is meant for you
I think I'll just stay here.

Alone I walked into the sea,

Engulfed by amber waves of ecstasy,

In which I crossed a boundary line

Where I left my mind behind.

I swam and swam until I tired

Yearnning for something I’d never acquire-

A thing that was the death of me.

O, those amber waves of ecstasy,

How they tossed and tore at my fragile being

Attempting to show me what I was not seeing;

Reaching for conclusion that would be freeing.

Amber waves of ecstasy,

Amber waves of ecstasy,

Please come and drown me once again,

Come deafen the screams within my head

That crave to be released from me.

O, amber waves of ecstasy,

The fault of my errors lie with me.

O, amber waves of ecstasy,

Please show me how to set myself free.

I dream of you
A stranger with your face, like a mask, in front of mine
He has your strong jaw line, your brown eyes
Walks with your confident stride
But the emptiness I feel as he kisses me goodbye brings me to reality every time
A jolt like a ligatured body cascading to a halt…
A brutal surprise

Days do not pass, uneclipsed by need for rationalization
Teeter tottering from acceptance to dissent
Memories like worn film,
Played and replayed
Longing for the ending to change

I was crying in answer to subjugation  
Unable to watch your mouth move as it formed syllables
Strung eloquently into carefully chosen words
Ultimately to assert our relationships Goodbye
I held my breath as you lingered at my doorframe
Felt the warmth of tear stained salty lips once last occupying yours
I watched you drive away
I waited knowing your headlights would soon fade

I dream of you
Infinite minutes of fantasy or fallacy
Made to blur factuality  
Reverie in which no matter of the stories distortion
You stayed

It's crazy how you call once she goes to sleep.
You wanna talk when she out and about with her friends.
You wanna lean on me when she's not there to hear you out.

But that moment she's back to have that little talk with, all I get is a dial tone. . .

You want me to be your back up chick.
A fire hydrant sitting there waiting to be used.
But then again, some how I'm okay with that
Not really

I just want you to love me
But not the way that you do
If I can't have you to myself, I'm willing to take half of you.

I know it ain't right, but I feel so lost, I need a clue.

Man I'm just a back up chick,
I just wish I was the one you would choose

Darkness spreads
over a white world
Serenity

Nothing has
been changed
Immaculate

Sparkle downward
as they glint from pale moonlight
Beauty

No life
in a black and white world
Solitude

All is
lost in a sheen of snow
Cleansed

And he presses up against me,
and I can feel my heart bouncing in my throat,
he's snakes his hands around me,
making it
difficult,

to breathe,

to think,

to process information,

to comprehend the words,
that flow,

I follow the dance of his,
tongue,
and I am sluggish,

I am inebriated,
in desire, left in the wake....  

....... wake
to the sound of my alarm,
and I curse,
the cruel,
ways my,
mind,
plays,
tricks,
on the me,
I am unguarded,
in sleep,

a wake,
I am strong,
and I can ignore,
the "lonelies",

he say's anxiety,
is misplaced trust,


but I'm trusting,
others have forsaken what was to be the goal,
but I'm still waiting,
I'm here.
waiting,

like a landmark,
against a tsunami,
I'm here waiting,

God had seven days to create all we,
know, can't wait to see what,
he has in store,
20 years and more,

I'm waiting for the hands that shaped me,
to place me.


and I'm still here,
I'm waiting.