Every time I am near you
I want to drink you dry
******* out your marrow
Tear apart your flesh from bone
Still this may bring me no closer to solving
The Mystery...
Of why you smell so good

Disconnected
Conceptual misconceptions creating order
Among the tar layered chaos
Numb and faithless
Tired and graceless
Fuzzy edges of once sharp concrete turns up a cure
Not quite following what it is you deciphered
I would rather take another hit
Breathe it in deep. Pulls me down hard.
Used to be like flying
Only now the heaviness sinks past my thoughts
Entering my blood stream burning liquid crazy fast
Ghostly memories of incense haze black light spirals
Blending with pale laced fingers
Inspire the starry eyed to create monoliths
Our minds are seperate and desperate but must remain
Quiet.
Reserved.
Disconnected.

In the wet pulsing core of passion lays desire
It's beating heart one of playful lust and deep emotion
I lick my lips around a blow pop
Sugary sweet sour apple *** shot love
I would rather be popping my lips around your mushroom head
Soaking up the melody of your moans
As you tangle one too careful hand into the fall of my hair
Pull. Harder.
It's been awhile
Playing Russian Roulette with ****
I just hope this barrel is cocked and loaded
Your hips move faster
Pumping into my soft hole
"just like that. Oo yeah baby. I love ******* this mouth."
Pushed through clenched teeth
So close, on the edges of suffering
What can I do?
I reach up with my idle hand and tug gently on your straining sac
Your head flew back, blew the top clear off.
Your hands pulling harder.
Filling my throat with warm, salty ropes of ***
I swallow and smile, satisfied with myself
Watching you bask  in your afterglow
My eyes wander over your body, intrigued
Tingles race up my spine
Noticing you will definitely be up for round two
Aching with the knowledge of release
Already slick for you

Raking a hand through unruly hair
I pull roughly at the cigarette between my fingers
Restless.
Feeling as though my skin is far too tight
I want to fly
Keep waking up with a hole in my chest
Where my initiative used to be
I was told to be patient
All would reveal itself in time
The nights get longer and the ache more pronounced
You are getting closer
Slithering along the outskirts of my perception
My instincts all a flutter, aroused
Anticipation coats my mouth like a cotton candy buzz
The beating of your heart reaches me across vast distance
As unable as I at forgetting
Arms and legs start to relax
Tired eyes and mind slipping shut
I drift off once more, atune to the pounding rhythm
Hopeful.
Thrilled.

We fled into the night

Hearts pounding in our ears
Unable to stop the clouds of smoke from choking

Their trucks were camouflaged
Sharp, biting bullets filled the air
Grasping hands pulling families apart

F.E.M.A. instructed us to their doors for safety
Inspecting us like livestock
Many heads were shaved
The screaming of the acid burn wounded deafening

I can still feel the warmth of my father's hand
As it was ripped from mine
Bright stage lights putting everything into perspective
My mind still numb from shock
Knowing that these could be my last breaths

They did not find what they wanted in my mother
Her pale back and savaged neck starred blankly
From the pit of the massacred and fallen
Grimy fingertips tug at my soft strands
Holding my eyelids tightly shut
Hiding every stinging tear

He smelled of chemical death
A shadow of his former human shell
Slithering over me, a cloud of chills
I am pushed into a dark room
Knowledge of what will happen stuns

Other voices blend with my internal racing thoughts
Making out fertile shapes and young faces
Fear sours the chaotic air
I will not go down without a fight

I may be just a number but they will remember my face
Haunted eyes full of hate
Sharp teeth unafraid of blood

My resolve strengthens
A calm smile plastered into place

As I promptly rip their ***** off

Forget what you thought you knew
You and me
In here it is just me and you
The smoke clouds start to swirl
Mixing smoothly with India temple bonfire prayers
Stone breathes and settles beneath us
Testing our limits of kinetic control
My head falls back, thoughts scatter
Forming listless haiku melodies all ending in riddles
Puff Puff Puff
Heady green heaven on my tongue, in our lungs
Pulling me down...down....down
Weightless we crumble
On a journey beyond what is reality
Do not know where it's going
All I know is that I am going down
Your eyes ease shut.
Numb and yearning.
Sliding into a whirlpool of de-assimiliation
Break apart, come run away with me
Still dancing with the devastating saturation
Of opening ourselves to the God of the Lost

When we met I had passion aplenty
But little experience
My heart knew only the tepid depths of emotion
Wanting desperately to feel the jagged edges all the way down
To know what the space around your tired eyes knows
And to be able to soothe it away with practiced efficiency
The wintery dry call of a Russian desert summer
Lingers in your fingertips
Painting softly, brushing cosmic mysteries in to the shining voice of my soul
Our moonshine syllables weaving in and out of a violent love affair
The aftermath cutting off cold parts of you that would shut down
Into migrating islands of solitude and sand castle suicides
You draw points and theories, advanced,alien intellect
Looking over and around what was always solid, concrete
Embedded into the barnacled underbelly of black sheet melodies
I miss the reflection of heat in your dark corners
Tracing lightly over stitch and bone dreams
I could never get close enough to calm my racing heart
You never asked me to stay
So I never did...leave my body...but I was around
Breathing in your incense and glittering morgue scent
Closing my eyes to savor
Relishing what's its like inside all of your empty spaces

Subtle ear drum wiggles
Dizzy spells spinning me around  while sitting down
I cannot quit laughing
Everything is breathing with caterpillar like intensity
My eyes are having a hard time deciphering what it is that they see
Back and forth soft breeze swaying heartbeat trees
Flowers growing in intensity
Their colors and size soon blind, blocking out the sun
I cannot quit laughing
My world becomes a violet hued blown glass fun house
Staring at the ceiling ripple and buck
Womp* Womp* Womp
Charlie Brown grown up scribble words
I cannot hear a **** thing you just said
Water slides down a numb throat
All of my parched cells soaking it up
Drowning the light feeling of flying that just possessed me
On it flows, down through every pipe
I cannot quit laughing
Down until my basement starts to flood
Ruining my only good pair of shoes
Postcard sent from the other side of everywhere
Coming back, falling hard
What a wild ride

I have never admitted to midnight stalking
Except on paper
To one person
You

I have never wanted to saturate myself with another
Except on paper
With one person
You

I have never wished so intensely for rough teeth and bruises
Except on paper
From one person
You

I still do not share the savage secrets of my heart
Except on paper
For one person
**You

Splattered black-red tinged hand-me-downs
Overfilled skeleton closets of thought and memory
Some burn like apollo's flame others are blizzard cold
Stealing into the shadowed corners of my vulnerable spirit
Assisting the grating decay of dead skin dust notes
Back stabbed into flea market food courts
Saturated with the sick sweaty grease and smoke clouds
That permeate the poor and unworthy
Judge with lashing whips, forked knives
Empty cavities hollowed from scraping **** intent spoons
Hungry, ravenous, grasping fallen angel talons ripping
Tearing seams of bleached white from safe haven gray
Not much left inside my stack of broken heart cards
Only spades and suicide kings remain
Grinning spoiled and child like from the seat of a selfish shell
Undo me
Unhinge me
I
Need
To
Bleed

I know that when this reaches you winds will change
Every silver lining seems to have a cloud when it comes to you
We are strangers yet our blood
flows the same
Unfinished parts of me wish that things could be different
Less like the empty spaces that lay
Those spaces now cauterized by years without comfort
How could I be expected to concede
Do what is in my power to conform as daughter
When for so long it was my heart alone that kept us afloat
It has been many moons since we spoke
Longer still since we met gazes
I am not the same
You are
I need these words to show you that though your road has been weary
Though your pain has been great
I cannot excuse your neglect
Father is a title that must be earned
Not given
You will never find it in my hands
These fingers no longer weave the bonds between us
Your's never learned  how

Watching the stars from open windows
Bleaching the vast expanse with their bright white
Dead pan eyes search for arms to hold
I am ready (aching) to tell you all my secrets
Can you feel them whispering along the soft flow of your skin?
My ink and curled cursive do not convey my desperation
I can feel your darkness calling
Like an old friend I used to know
Memories of tongues of others
Blowing softly away into the night
I need to answer
Never glittering long enough to wade through these old cemeteries
Digging up new blood and bones
Schizophrenic tendencies
Psychotic rants
All revealing in their puzzled masquerade
Much more than their design ever intended
Still believe I am no victim?
Myth and man blend into a singular, desired being
His visage one of torment and sadness
Punctuated harshly by those of hope and pure. liquid. heat.
I am coming for you.
Almost there.

Pieces
Of various organs
Flying off into
A
Cyclone of flesh

Blew the brains
Right out the back
Of his
*******
Never a thought or care
In the world
Skull

Little
Did he know
That ******* my
Wife
While I was suppose
To be working
Late

Wouldn't be the last
Time
His **** got blown.

Off.

The irreveracable state of falling moral
Piecing together newspaper dooms dayers
Always curious about generalized detachment
Yet unable to see the forest for the trees
Picket lines are home
Raging infernos of injustice and malcontent
Laying stoically at their doorstep
Wrapped messily in insomniac nightmares at yours
Big, BOLD letters voicing the masses
We are, We are
Oppressed, Depressed, Repressed
No longer though
Passing out the hymnals of our revolution
Unsatisfied but spent
I sit back and enjoy the show
Saturating my senses with the smell of burning GMO fields

Tight, wet, heat
Sweetly encompassing cold blown glass
No *** shops on this end of town
Impatient
Head shop will have to do
Sensual, low clouds of Nag Champa swirling
I looked at many until I found the right one
Just knew
My deepest...depths clenching with need
It may not be the best thing
But it gets the job done
******* myself doesn't take nearly as long as I would like
So I touch softly, dragging out the insufferable torment
To crescendo into a blazing glory
A Phoenix on third degree fire
Pulsing
To the staccato beat of my lonely heart

My passion as a writer
Mirrors that of an exotic dancer
Although I may have left my tassels at home
I can still strip bare with haikus and metaphors
Slip some encouragement under my tight ribbon of
Literary control
How do I keep all of these soliloquies from spilling out of
My naturally buoyant...thought process?
By making sure each piece keeps you coming back for
More

Happens every other day
Feelings of guilt as a wasteful being
Rearrange brain function
Monopolizing firing synapses
Recycle, reuse
Regurgitating, dull whitted infomercials
All wanting you to buy, buy, buy
Sure you could use another sharp knife
Maybe even a blender
On special now buy one get one free
A kitchen already full of utensils that you don't use
Caught up in McMonsantoland's corporate sponsorship
Frankenburgers all around
Cancer is the cure
Picking you off one by one
Genocide
Intelligence retardant children growing up in front of CIA bugged televisions
They know your patterns, habits, what makes you tick
Big Brother is watching  all of you be enslaved
In the end your box will be numbered
Eight humans deep
Stacked high along the streets of America
Guiding the way to the ****** sunset of our existence

I don't have much to say today
looking around ambiguitiously, always observing
Kind of quiet inside
That does not happen very often
Solid confines of gray, pink hued humanity
I have no guilt, no conscious plague of mortality
For when it's all over
When the lights come for you, and you
And you...
I am going to be here
Swiggin gut rot brew
Preaching to any who will listen about how it will all go down
This is the end
No ancient calendar markings deciphered
Or genesis verse will prepare us all for what wheels have been
Turning towards
Soilant Green on a black and white television
Redundant
We are already eating ourselves
Un-identifiable meat bi-products with purpose
Poison
This is the end
Strangled and suffocated
Kicking and screaming
God is dead
And so are you

Letters compiled in boxes full of ink blots
Love stains splattered all over a hollow heart
Twilight descends
Soft glowing swamp lights guide weary thoughts
An abyss not so easy to extract from
Tearing them up into ghost story confetti
Watching quietly as wind blown novels scatter
Only memories linger here in the murky depths
Reflecting time honored traditions of sacrifice
All to please those that cannot see past the influence
To focus on the content
You are always pushing away
Locking me within the confines of a dead heart
One day I will find a way to escape or resuscitate
Unwilling to be ignored