Awareness
Cotton soft sheets against satin skin
One eye eases open
A muffled groan into pillow
Tells the sun to continue it's slumber
For the moon still wishes to reign
Her silver light dancing over valleys
Each curve highlighted in pearlescent relief
Hollows where your tongue longs to linger
The dawn edging closer
As do you
Lover mine donning smile
Open heart
Right here
Always in between
Where I am
Where I'm supposed to be

Words seem regurgitated of late
This is not a place for healing
There is no welcome mat to wipe your so(u)le
Welling up with an emotion that feels very foreign
One I chose to not get on a first name basis with
Yet I hear it
Broooooook
Whispering across my flesh
Sewing it's shadow to my already heavy heart

Fire in the sky
Volcano spores finding seed
Within my spark scarred chest
They grow
Racing lava through enraged veins
Once alabaster skin chameleons to crimson
Overwhelmed
It must find an outlet
This intensity could burn down a village
Melt glacial strongholds
Even evaporate the deepest depths
I choose instead a different route
Pen in hand, ink my battle axe
Blank page, innocent lines
*****. Pillaged. Plundered.
Many verses later I am spent
It's purity never stood a chance

I'm looking for a runner
A top gun stunner
Someone who does not shove me behind
In battle
Instead prefers me side by side
A shield maiden in my own right

By Brook Ilges and Sverre G Holter*

Smoke. Spark. Ignite.
Fire burning down these veins of paper machè
I watch as pieces of me drift off with you into the night
Your voice carries over the mountains
Calling me out into the shadows
At peace with my undoing
Aching for a touch
A moment in the light
You are pure sunshine
Melting the iced cavities that surround my castle
Defenses 20 feet deep
Ready for this battle
Walls fall
Your voice still calls
            **
I was destined to lose you, even
Before I saw your face.
There are too few years in a man's life
For me to swim, to walk to you.
Before I ever even spoke to you,
You were perfect for me. But
Not for forever.
I don't even know
You now.
I see you behind your stronghold.
There never was a stone that could
Keep me out of your
Warmth, little girl.
I'll sing until you dance.
I'll whisper until you come.
I'll keep one arm of my mind on your
Person while you sleep and
I don't.
I've known you for aeons.
I have held your soul with mine for
Astral hours every night
Since we were
Born.
Such I call. As such I call,
Until your walls
Can hold nothing,
And crumble unto
Me an entrance.
*I can smell your sweet
Soul, woman...

You are gone*
Constantly on my mind
Digging deeper across the rough edge of this wound
I stay high all of the time
To get away, even then you meet me there
Soft smiles instead of tears grace my face
Wearing it down to the sunny bones of my soul
I always go home alone
Bed empty with the cold ghost of your weight
The sheets, washed over and over
Still smelled like your good morning sighs
Now they linger with the cloying perfume of goodbye
Stressed and stretched to the point of breaking
I tear down and rebuild daily with the dawn
Using the thread from your memory to sew the pieces back together

My body is weak and restless
Toys scattered, sweated brow
Been working at tiring myself out for hours
Nothing gives
****** after mind blowing ******
Still hungry
Ravenous, without satiation
Unable to keep my hands to myself
Therein lies the problem
Want and need **** a fine line
Between my ability to control and my ability to let go
Breathe it all in, in one great gasping breath
Your scent ribbons through the chaos
Single minded focus on Northern winds
Edged with snow capped romance
Gets me going, gets me hot
Too hot, drop it
Butterflies join the descent
Crimson splashes behind my eyelids
Oxygen deprivation presses in with heavy, leadened weight
Just. A. Little. More.
Yessssss
Echoing cries as back bowed, muscles wound tight
Explosion. Atomic fire ball. Liquid.
Catching air from the landing
I curl up into a self-love hazed ball
Ready for the next round

Summer's filling up all of the cracks
Left behind by winter
A sultry Spanish wind breezes through
Causing sweaty palms to melt
Into the blaze of young lover's hearts
They keep their hopes in ball glass jars
Holes punched through to breathe
Short lived still, like so many things
Their twinkle fading with the Dawn

Colour of a blue eyed newborn's
Iris sneaking itself through
Marshmellow clouds lined
With pink mother-of-pearl
And my admiration.
I want to touch everything.
I work with my hands.
I can build whatever you need,
And am the best tickler
South of the Arctic.
I want to put my fingers through
Anything beautiful I see.
Always looking;
Wanting to touch.
                              
That which begs to be touched
My mind caressing tree limbs
Breathing in celestial counterparts
To weave through this new configuration
Third eye open
Stumbled upon fathomless depths
Unknown
Wide brimmed, wide eyed
Don't sleep, don't sleep
So much yet to soak up
To taste


That which begs to be tasted.
Skin, warm with wanting,
Wet with relief and
Passing contentment.
Lips that uttered
Curses now kiss soft
Fingertips tracing
More love than
Love has ever had.
All is new
To the reborn.
Here are my hands.
They see through me,
Look into you, and rest
Upon the centre of your
Innermost centermost.
An umbilical between
Godess and
Man.
I smile mouthfulls
Of everything.


Hopeful, hope filled
The silver edge to this cloud
Dropping rainbow 3pm's to halo
Around my grinning skull
I am simple in my sobriety
Chrystal cut clear in winter yearning
Seeing the forest finally for the trees
These wonders reaching down out of the darkness
Shedding light on this pale, pale mourning
Nerve tips trace along your dips and curves
Memorizing
Mesmerized

And that baby-eye blue
Is now a full grown heaven
Full of sweet nothings
And nobodys,
Holding only such ideas as
Void and timelessness
In its handless hands.
I watch it with you; arm
Around your doll waist,
Shoulder against your
Head.
It's a new day.
A new, beautiful day.
A new, beautiful, hopeful
Day for us both.
Pots of gold on either end
Of this unimaginary
Rainbow.

Kung fu tutu is on the daily
Never taking this off
Kicking *** and taking names
******* alert goggles equipped
You'll need to learn Aramaic
To read these tomes honey
Left you at the START line
Muttering "Woe is me"
While circling the cage of your grave
Reaching full potential
Occurred constantly in thought
Yet your actions or lack there of fell dismally short
Peers, reserve your pity
For he was led by example
Those whom he chose to surround
Also lacked luster
While those brave few who shone
Grew brighter
I used to think he was a rough edged diamond
I realize now, all along, he was *dust

My windows point East
The first touch of soft light
Heavy darkness
Caressing me while still ******
Mist sways in ghost like swirls
Across the scythed field edging the yard
               I am thankful
Deer play, eating the harvest lost by machine
Tie dye Tuesday with assorted colors
Stains on cement
Waiting
A robin's nest squatters are ready for flight
New wings shake nervous feathers
                I am healing
As the leaves unfurl
Warm breezes skate through every crack
Soaking up the sun with sable pelt
Side by side
Both hearts radiating love
Her gentle purrs reassuring
All is well
Summer reinforcing my frame
                 *I am

The dearly departed
Leave us broken hearted
Empty but for memory weighed space
Our love lost in time
For yours and for mine
Never forgetting their silence graced face

Sweet sweet mercy
You've got all of my serotonin receptors going crazy
Firing haphazardly from one side of my psychedelic nerve endings to the other
In synchronized ******* bliss
Your affection splashes in prismatic colors
Reflecting sea breezes, night skies
Too tight ribs barely contain
Unable to handle my wrecking ball heart
Throb
Breaking down these rainbow stained walls
Please
I gotta get out of this skin
The sharp edge of your butterfly kiss
Will do nicely
Alice in Wonderland style
Curiosity often leads to trouble
Inked permanently across your tongue
I want a taste
*Just give me one taste

The soft whisper of your breath
Against my nape
Sends shivers quivering down my spine
Thighs ache to part for you
"Not yet..."
I can smell my wetness permeating the air
Between our pulsing layers
Soft tongue snakes out to taste
Satiny swirls right below my ear
Every glide has me melting, swaying
Closer to the hazed space of your heat
Another *** charged moment and I'll explode
"Please?"
My plea reaches sigh focused ears
Heavy seconds pass until at last
The edges of your teeth sink into pliable shoulder
Your moan.
My scream.
*Our release.

I had a dream last night
That we, Humans
Evolved without vocal chords
In the near distant future
Due to our advancement in technology

(it will be here before we know it)

Cars already can read our eye focus
Pretty soon they'll drive us home
Social responsibilities fall tragically short
With robots watching our children
While adults go out to play

Our communication skills dwindle
Abilities to talk heart to heart
Eye contact
Conversations over dinner
Are limited to blank boxes
Black text
Our once brilliant colors, faded
I feel this disconnection
Heading back to nature to heal
What I know not how to fix
Besides to spread love, laughter
Especially kindness
With every step

From frigid to convection oven
Seasons change
Yet your loss is not linked with snow
Perhaps in the sun's distance
I found solace
An escape from the pain of grief
Tears still fall in June
When the bright lights of our beginning burned
The weight of your lips on mine
Lingers
Will it ever ease?
I'd rather it wouldn't
Though bruised, I am thankful
Numbness has not taken hold
Winter is coming
I can still feel the cold

Festival days all a twitter
Mud caked boots alongside fairy wings
Stick haphazardly every which way
From my jeep wrangler
She needs a bath but glitter is just something else
When you leave a trail in travel
This is what I live for
Tangled in tulle, hemp and wire for months
Until the weather breaks
Breath held. Exhaaaaaaale.
Naked coffee early morning possibilities
Fire poi, wicks and hoops go next
Papadosio Magreenery proton love song
Pulsing right through the visceral point
Of each cell
Saturating my senses. Over load.
Bright, gemstone radiant color melts
Gliding across my vision as the heat
The heat takes hold
Packing in itself is a journey
The trip...

                  *and I'm not even there yet.

The ties between us
Once Valhalla steel and thunder
Now more that of Aradnian gossamer frayed thin
We gave our all
Now there is nothing left but softness
Gazes still lock
In friendship
The smell of your skin lingers
Against my sheets
I'll always be here
To comfort
To care
Although this road ahead for us splits
They all lead to the same end
I'll be there.

Honey moon
Wild free nectar racing through
Late July veins like rain
You are that razor edge
Awareness of the separation
Between corporeal and physical
Melt through, right on down
To the event horizon
Twisted molecules braiding
Memory
This is alive
This is
This is you
This is me
This is now

*let's not waste it

Eyelids slowly part to soft sunlight
Glowing off of the red highlights
In your beard
Good morning
Mmm...it's always good with you here
Your hardness a welcome bedmate
Birds singing through the window
India Temple incense smoke
Hazing the shadows
Circling the heat between our frames

I am sorry*

We shared those words today
I no longer worry about the shade of our hands
Come Dawn
Love still connects us
Bridge building is slow
Worth while to the persistent
To the patient
Compromise
We are not compatable through
Religion. Philosophy. The Soul.
However, for us, music still stands
Classic rock and 70's disco fever
High pitched BeeGee's
Crooning Zepplin while deer watching
That connection alone binds us
Much less the love of mountains
Cold lungs on frosty mornings
Hunting for dinner with bow, with arrow
I have missed you
Wasted time stretched between us
No longer
Happy Father's Day

I am sorry.

Three words that can help heal
Yet we often find it so hard to utter
Our pride gumming up our tongues
So they lay silent, our lips mute
I have never understood that difficulty
To take responsibility
Regardless the action
We are built to withstand pain
Not create it

Look around you.

Pain is an art form
One we have perfected
In what could be the sunset of our civilization
We are still as un-evolved emotionally
As our dawning
Such great pains are taken in the name of progress
Foul atrocities that stain our hands
When working together, as one heart
One whole
We could have sparkled bright in these last rays
Instead we are judge and executioner
With little thought to how we will look
When that sun rises again

Clouds gather
Shadows race across the afternoon
The tops of trees sway towards the ground
As if hungry for it's solid kiss
Rumbles echo in the near distance
Electricity crackles in it's wake
Thor sending love notes
A veritable visual feast of destruction
Strange swirls form funnels
Whisking everything it's path
Up
Soon the roar of a train engine
Careening out of control down steel tracks
Circles closer to where you think is safe
Hidden
Whipping wind harder and harder
Big Bad Wolf storm
Determined to blow your house down

The sun glints off of your sable pelt
Furry dust motes float around
Angelic curves that purrr
Sleeping away the afternoon without a care
How wonderful it must be
To only worry about me

Your position has always been passive
Aggressive when it comes to me
Pulled and stuffed into this little box
You see me fitting in with ease
For your eyes only
This whole private dancer mentality
Will get you torn apart
By a razor edged whit
That you are unable to contend with
No shackles
No chains
No supposed emotional ties
Will ever lock me up or shut me down

You'll need soft touches and hard *****
For that

My hands were little
Where yours where not
Tipped in cherry red satin
Flowers seemed to follow your footsteps
"Hold ya!"
My arms stretched high above your knees
For love
I grew up knowing that comfort
Every tear. Every heartbreak.
Soothed by your whispers
Calmed against the cradle of your heart
When the time comes
For you to  ease into the shadows
Know that these arms will be there
*As your's have always been before

Morning yawns over the valley
Quiet right before the light
Then a chorus of birdsong echo's
Through softly swaying tree tops
Rain falls in a steady rhythm
White tailed mother's guard thickets
Snorting gently to reassure their young
It cannot rain all of the time little one
Low clouds linger
Breathing in our atmosphere
To coat withered midnight lungs
In peace
Lush green perks up, unfurls new leaves
Ready to soak up another day

Can be exceptionally rough...*and beautiful

Gazes clash across a sea of eyes
Cherub poison lethal injection
System over ride
A strangled knot of hormones
Fever pitch high noon summer
These butterflies have me spinning
A chaotic path towards the light
Towards you
Burning like moth to flame
Inches away we stand with silent tongues
Dancing to the rhythm of our vein's beat
Composing love songs
*Only we can hear

There was always much more
I should have, could have
Held against you
Weekends left watching cartoons
When sitting on your lap
Was all I needed
Hours of listening to shot gun conversations
Mostly trash about my mom
You know she struggled 26 hours to push me out
Without a **** I was useless to you
"You don't need flowers do you?"
A statement, no question
As you walked out of the delivery room
I have no pictures of you holding me
Many scars for the times you did
We talk every few years
They pass by like blinking
Sleeping
I hear your methadone laced voice
Far off echo's of bedtime stories
Summer afternoon's next to the river
Your laughter bouncing off fish scales
I miss you.
This bridge between may be burned
Your body sick with disease
Tired with age
Lucky for us I excel at the breast stroke
I don't want to wake with nothing but
Your memory floating
On the surface of my childhood

You beg me with your white wash
A silent, aching pull of color
Splash your crimson love all over
Line me with your charcoal dawn
All day long I listen
In the car on the way home
Your plastic wrapper muffled
Seductive word play between your surface and my finger tips
Itch
Twitch
Ggg//l...iiiiitcH
Pull in fast. Race inside.

Turn.
Everything.
Off.

Sitting before you now in silence
contemplation
To form third eye visions with brush
With stroke
Approach with caution...

(spaced out between constellations for fifteen minutes)

Sudden flurry of movement
Glasses tinkling
Water droplets dance in the late afternoon sun
Wild banshee hair tangled
Softly around excited shoulders
Hues. Dyes. Pigments.
Littered in jars aplenty
Coursing through my veins

You may run red but I, I run rainbow
Exquisite Roy G Biv slit wrist theory

*You have to die in order to be reborn.

You've got your construction hat on
The project funds long gone
Sunk deep into the frame
Laying before you

Steel cut. Sharp edged
Yet you see the beauty in these bones
Know what it's like to go it alone
Having only support beams
To keep your shape

Call it a draw
                   Don't call it quits  
No more use for that cement mix          
Weighing down the boots you'll pour it in
Cold drop. No sudden stop.
Sinking into ill dug culverts
Lapping at scarred shores

I've stood this long without
Now I need your help
To weather the storm

All of us...and everything else
Is dual natured
For every positive there is a negative
Perfection of yin and yang
Yet we only praise the "good"
When in fact it is the "bad"
That we learn from
The sun warms : causes drought
The rain quenches : floods the fields
If all we had were good times
Great memories and our health
How would we know what to be thankful for?
Without disease, famine or struggle
We would not grow
No matter how much rain or sun

I don't know this place
This face
Anymore

A sudden drop in lighting
Temperature raised a few degrees
Lines of sorrow on a face
Once lined with laughter

What's become?
What's become of me?

The base of my spiritual perception
Is like putty
Constantly being remolded
As I evolve
I'm glad for you, your stability
Happy that your interpretation
Demands the servitude of your heart
I cannot help that mine runs free
Flowing through gorges
Cascading down rainbow mist falls
Tearing apart against the jagged edges
Of my preconceived notions
Only to reassimilate new ideas of
*Immortality

You flutter softly
With hope dusted wings
Against the cage
Of my sentry posted ribs

The sky was beautiful that night
I saw it, azure sparkle diamond bright
Through tears.

A river.
An ocean.

I thought they'd never stop
You know I'm not one for blubbering
Feeling your transition
From physical to spiritual

Took me with you, for a time

What remained was hollow
Still even sounds like a watermelon
My cantaloupe days ended
With that last sunset
Tuesday. February. The 19th. Florida.
Scars.
Our beauty
Our tragedy
Left inside those that linger on
Running is no cure
Like any disease
It is carried within me
Constantly searching for molecules
To ease this ache

Luscious swirl colors
Sunlight reflecting off of
Rainbow jeweled depths
White cotton absorbs the laughter
In banded, restricted patterns
Blue lazy afternoon
Pink sugar candy
Green that's not so easy
Indigo spot light shining
Mimosa bubbles fizz with comedic intent
Juicy honey bells spiking my taste buds
I soak you up, great God of life
In turn creating sacred geometric love
On simple fibers

Gazing down at me
In starry eyed brilliance
The apex of your pleasure
Reached with sweated brow
Clenched teeth and moans
Energy released leaves love's scent
Heady. Hazed. Humming.
My body curls into yours
As worked out lungs catch up
To our finish line

He had been working for days
A simple man
With rough hands
An eye for beauty that rivaled
Botticelli's
Dukes and Duchesses had paid well
For flattering statuary that would
Live on in granite repose
Chisel and hammer tapped away
Sweat poring his brow
He worked in silence
Though the square below him
Played the symphony of daily life
It was his hands that listened for him
He may have been born deaf but cherished he was
Treasured
By a woman who could have no more
God's gift she had prayed for
Then thanked for every day after
He knew the story
Lived her gratitude
As he finished the final curve
Placing tools on the side table
He stood back to survey his work
Realizing it was his greatest piece yet
For it was the brightest memory
Of his mother
In her face he saw God's grace

Released from my physical form
I allow the tendrils of sleep
To conduct it's shadowed symphony
Crescendoing
Into a frenzy of cacophonous arousal, exhiliration and fear
My body soars in dream land
Shallow breaths become hurried
Bottomless pit free falling
Alice in Wonderland acid swirl
This crazy train is right on schedule
Each night whisking me off
To the exotic, horrific and depraved
My only respite...
The sticky sweet haze of Mary Jane
As she melts
Into the visceral underbelly
Of my subconscious
Only then do I wake well rested
Not aching from the memory of sleep

I had it in me.
Now it is out.
I always fill back up.
Waiting for the black to fall.

If it comes to pass
That these words are my last
Lay me down easy
Beside salty shores, warm and breezy
You'll find many thoughts left undone
Broken sentences, tales only half-spun
Hearts lay throughout, fluid and true
None so precious as the one shaped like you
I've protected and shielded those needing care
Handing gently to death love found so rare
Judge softly for I, like you, have sin
The line between morality grown porous and thin
To ashes and dust my mortal form go
Such is the rhythm of our ebb and flow

She wore South wind day dresses
Smiles wreathed in sunshine
Her scent that of wild poppies
For one inhale and you'll want her in bed

Not for sleeping of course

Clouds pass her by in winking layers
Catching glimpses of pearlescent flesh
As twilight falls
Rolling hips center stage
With silver glow of moonlight
Kissing every luscious curve

"Stay?"
A pleaded entreaty with tears
Soaking the edges of it's echo
Carries from your mouth to my ears
My mind races with leg entwined visions
The sloppy wet heat of our tongues
Swirling
Whispered apologies for years of neglect and bad choices
All could be mine
Yet...
That may be all *this is
Chemical desire in a centrifuge
Until well blended with come **** me
DNA strands
You say you'll be there
Then when most needed
"Where's Waldo?", on the search
You know, even without disease
Our telomeres will eventually decide
When we are finished
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your fingerprints are all over my heart
Love, it's my mind
You've been reaching for all of this time
To only brush it with your fingertips

I've been in three homes
Where a piano, or three
Resided in the dining room
Now one would think
That this would encourage
Music to accompany the eating experience
However, growing up
Singing was forbidden at the table

Wanderer. Gypsy. Warrior.
A coalition of stardust children
On a hunt for home
I've laid out my welcome mat before
Lit the candles
Not for long
Whispering, the wind picks up
Moving across the tundra
To howl through my iced cavities
My edges are sandy shores
Muspelheim soaked with sea salt love letters
Loki resides on the interior
Playing tricks
Searching for a völva who will guide his way
Perhaps I am she
Who shall never rest
Until I reach Valhalla

If you were a book
I would stay up all night
Feverishly flipping pages
Soaking up every single syllable
To know your ending

If you were a tropical island
I would explore your lush, secret interior
Spending long, lazy afternoons naked
Sun drunk on your shores

If you were a ***** joke
I would throw my cackles to the ceiling
Careful to not burst windows
Making sure to retell you often
Your punch line only gets better

If you were a roller coaster
I would wait in line for half the day
Just to be caressed by your safety harness soaked in other's sweat
Not to mention your talent with G-spots, I mean forces

If you were early morning
I would brew you strong and extra hot
Sipping cautiously at your porcelain edges
Watching blue smoke lazily curl
Then taking deep gulps as you cool
Buzzed on you til the afternoon

If you were mine
I would fill up your long dried and crusted ink wells
Encourage your laughter to come out to play
But above all
I would love you. Madly.

You've got this seven year itch
Gone through about 31 to find
The right fit for your glitch
Guitar strings for heart rings  
Hips grinding against your newest
Ink splatter


I see a face that has launched ships
Baritone stiff and moody
Like a cigar bar on a Sunday afternoon
They are all hiding from their wives
When they come to watch these shadows
Quiver

So what if I've got tentacles?
Pulling you all in
With a mouth made to ****
Embrace your sea legs
One swim in my silky depths
Will leave you thirsting
For more of my tide
I prefer boats roughly rocked
My caps foamy and white
Salt spray facials
Pearl necklaces
Venus, emerging
Tsunami wave of pheromones
Check your sonar love
I'm headed your way